Why is it so hard?

[giraffeprint]

I'm seeing this lady I know she's not a good match for me but I hate the idea of us breaking up. We are just too different and I'm always feeling like my efforts are not being matched but I like her company. I just want to be happy and satisfied but it's hard to accomplish

[meoww]

It's the reason any of us find it hard to change, humans are creatures of habit. You like the companionship even it's insufficient.

 

It's always harder to do the right thing. Don't expect it to be easier because you'll just get discouraged. Do it because even if you can't feel it yet, the long-term benefit to your life is worth it. Don't settle. Don't always make your relationship decisions based on how you feel in the moment, but where you want to be in the future and get in the habit of it.

[treesandbees]

You can be just as lonely in a bad couple as you can be alone. If not happy, maybe she isn't either? and better to break up then suffer it out.

[Willywagtail]

You're the one that makes your own happiness. You can't rely on a relationship to do it for you.

 

If you're unhappy then do something sbout it. Liking someone's company is not enough for a lasting connection. You know that.

[giraffeprint]

I agree with you all. It's something I don't want to do but I know I should. I would like to try to convince her that we should just go back to dating since our relationship is so difficult but she's so opposing to that , it's like she's offended by the idea. Any helpful tips on how to change the relationship without ending it?

[Nervousone]

How long have you been seeing this lady? Time also plays a role.

[meoww]

Your girlfriend isn't a pair of jeans you bought from TJ Maxx that after buying you realize need to be altered or something. I'm sorry, I can see you're trying to do the right thing, but you would buy someone dinner and snatch the plate from them right when the waiter brings it because you changed your mind? Revisiting the relationship status usually means getting more serious, not less. To me, there's not much of a point making it less serious anyway, eventually you have to consider either breaking up or being exclusive all over again. You're just postponing the break up to a later date.

[lostandhurt]

Why don't you try and have a conversation about what each of you would like your relationship to be like. You can share how you like to be treated and she can do the same.

 

Not that it should matter but if I am not mistaken this is a lesbian relationship right? There may be nuances that I don't understand but a relationship is a relationship right?

 

If you go into it not complaining but sharing and listening then you both can figure out if what each of you would like comes reasonably close and then decide if the relationship should go any farther.

 

Don't assume she knows how you feel, share your thoughts with her...

 

Lost