Sweet Euphoria Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 I am 17 years old. I have never had a serious relationship until my last one. I had been going out with the most amazing girl in the world. We went out for 1 year and 7 months, and on that day she broke up with me. She told me the reason was that she felt held back and trapped in our relationship. She also said she wanted to experience life more and hang out with different people. I always told her that I agreed and supported that decision, but I always found myself constantly wondering what she was doing and who she was with. I should have been more trustful of her, but it was hard. We got into several fights because of this, but always forgave eachother. I promised her things would get better, and I thought they were. It has only been three days since the breakup and I am not doing good at all. I've seen her twice since the breakup, and both times I broke down crying (I am a very emotional person). She constantly tells me that things will work out in the end and that we will both get through this together, but I can't see myself getting through it. I need advice. How should I go about getting over this? We loved eachother so deeply and experienced so much, but now we are no longer together. I find myself confused and deeply depressed. I can't talk to anyone else about this because it is too hard. I haven't really aten since the breakup and I have felt extremely sick. I wish there was a way we could still be together because I still believe we were meant to be. Please help... Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 It will probably be really hard for the first two weeks. After that you will find you mind wandering to other things, like school work, or friends. You need to find someone to talk things over with, that is the only way that you can get through this. If you cant talk to your parents, find a trusting teacher or school counselor. You must find someone to talk to that will support your feelings. If you want to -- you can private message me! Try and find healthy outlets for your needs. Your girlfriend validated you and gave you company, you'll need to find those things elsewhere. Make sure that you eat right and exercise. Those are required. I would try and find a spiritual outlet too. Link to comment
SilverPoet Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 It's alright..things like this happen and your not ready for it..your 17..and it must be hard for you at this age..i went trhough it to 2 years ago...i would suggest to tell her that you are deeply in love with her and can't be yourself without bein' with her..and that you 2 were meant to be soulmates and always be together. You need to eat though..and have a beer or 2...just playyin'...it's very confusing in these kinda predictaments..at least hang out with her alot, always be there for her, tell her things that sets her heart on a love trip and say sweet things to her, if that doesn't help...then i would say not to look so broken down around her and look more cheerful...i know your emotional but maybe she's lookin' for you or someone to relieve her of her own weakness in emotional problems and situations...Also sit down with her and have a real, deep, loving conversation with her to win her confidence and to make her believe that you 2 is what completes this emotional puzzle..tell her that you can give her more in life than she will ever find elsewhere.. everything that she ever wanted wuz right in front of her the whole time..she just didn't realize until she almost lost it... it seems its so hard for you to hold on... too much for you to take in... tell her it's you that she fonds... show her that it's her that you'll win... all the trust you put in her... but there's one thing you should know... unreal as it is to her... reveal what it is you are... unravel and show... P.S.-just a lil' something to cheer you up and for you to think about... Peace B Link to comment
bzborow1 Posted June 2, 2003 Share Posted June 2, 2003 Just give yourself some time. It's hard breaking up with someone, the biggest obstacle is loneliness. You should start thinking about you now, do things you want to do. And most importantly, keep busy!!!! I found what gets over the not eating thing is exercise, I started jogging by myself a lot, it really helps. As for your ex, you should probably avoid her for a while, as being around her is killing you inside. Maybe things just got confusing for her, who knows, but it is clear that you need some time away from her. You need to be away so you can learn to love her in a different way, and not think "who is she dating?", or "does she still have feelings for me?". She broke up with you for her own reasons, you've just got to be strong and let her be. If it was meant for you two to be together, time will tell. But in the meantime you've gotta move on. You're young!!! There's plenty of young babes out there waitin for a sensitive guy like you!!! In addition, it's summer man!!! Babes in bikini's for next few months!!!! You might feel lost, but you might also be free. Enjoy life!!! Link to comment
caliboy Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 Girls don't want a guy who's crying all over them, cause if they did then they'd only want to be with you out of pity and that's not love. They need a guy who's strong and confident, cause most girls lack this and look for a guy to make them feel more secure. Think of it this way, when you or anyone goes out, meets someone and is potential interested in them, they're not crying on you. EVERY girl wants a guy who's strong and in control. It's fine that you're emotional and sensitive, because deep down I think girls like that cause it shows them you care about them enough and are comfortable with them, but DON'T go overboard with it. Especially now. Let her know you care about her very much and know that you would love to work things out, but that she needs to figure herself out. Then tell her it'd be better if you two don't talk until she figures things out. Then don't talk to her and wait for her to talk to you. She'll change her tone immedietly, but don't give in. You have to wait for her to come back to you. You don't want to get back together because you talked her into it. You want her to be with you cause SHE wants to. What I see here though is that you're still so young. When I was 17, I was with a girl who I thought I was going to spend my life with. In fact, we were together for 5 years until we split up in college. We became different people. That was 3 years ago, and I can honestly say that it was the best decision. You need to let your ex be out there and meet other people. You need to do the same too. I know it's tough cause you're hurting right now, but you have to do it in order to be yourself again. Figure out who you are, what your interests are and what you want and I promise girls (even your ex) will find you way more attractive. Link to comment
sisterlynch Posted June 3, 2003 Share Posted June 3, 2003 I agree with you. I think that the really independent women are not that attractive to guys in the long run. Guys want someone that will admire them. Girls want someone who will be lovey-dovey, but present a stronge face on the outside. It is a balancing act! People change through out their entire lives. I am thirty seven and I am still trying to get everything understood! Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now