Is she not interested?

[willdation]

Alright, It's been 3-4 days since I sent an email to this girl I just went on a date with for the first time and I still havn't gotten a response yet. I was just wondering If I should call her or just take the hint that she's not interested because she hasn't written me back yet. This is REALLY hard because I actually really have feelings for this girl. I actually mentioned this to one of my girl friends and she said I should call because the girl might be upset that I just sent an email instead of calling her right away and that if she kissed me on the cheek she must have liked me at list a little bit...But then one of my guy friends said to just wait and let her come to me..if she wants me, she'll call me and if I call her she might think im stalkin her or something. I dunno..What do you guys think?

[peanut15]

Call her. Emails are so impersonal.

[Jimbo10]

Maybe she only checks her email 3-4 times. Maybe her junkmail scanner thought it was junk. Maybe she accidentally deleted it. Maybe she hasn't had the time to read it/reply

 

There are too many possibilities to sit around and think about. Just call her!

[willdation]

Yea..that's what I just might do. I'll give it a couple more days maybe?

[Jimbo10]

I wouldn't wait. If for some reason she didn't get the email, or lost it or w/e, she might be waiting!

 

Just call her in tomorrow and say 'hey'. Don't wait any longer, she might think you forgot about her or something.

[bobster]

Yes, just call her. Email can be unreliable.

 

Just bear in mind, if you do get talking to her on the phone, don't talk for anymore than say 10 minuites (keep talk for date #2) and if she asks what your doing at the moment, NEVER say your doing nothing.

 

Keep the interest high!

 

All the best.

[willdation]

Alright...She was just online this morning and I wrote to her. Then I wrote back "I sent you an email the other day, I feel bad cause they are soo impersonal, but my cell mintes ran out and IM pretty much studyin non stop for my exams" ...She didnt write back (either mad, not interested or doesnt want to disturb me while iM studyin cause I have exam today) BUT she didnt block me either and is on busy.....Like..If she dosnt want me why dosnt she delete me? All I really care is that I am friends with this girl, I dont even want a relationship at the moment because Im way too busy......girls are confusing sometimes....

[Day_Walker]

Take it as she isnt interested. She has had two opportunities to respond and she hasnt. Regardless of your feelings for her she doesnt seem to reciprocate. Next time you want to keep yourself from having a situation like this. You need to be more observant and notice how she responds to you becuase this will determine if she has an interest.

[willdation]

DUDE..SHE IS STILL INTERESTED!!!!!!!!!! SHE JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL SAYING SHE WANTS TO GO OUT ON ANOTHER DATE AND JUST GOT BACK FROM SCHOOL...WOW..NEVER SEEN THIS ONE COMIN...SOMETHIN TO LEARN FROM I GUESS!!!!!!!!!! I'll have to play it waaaaayyy cool this next time around though...

[Iceman26]

Congratulations! Next time though, find a way to call her. A definite fear of rejection and impersonality is conveyed when you use instant messages and emails to ask people out on a date. Good luck with the second date!

[Jimbo10]

congrats....see email isn't trustworthy!!!

 

 

Good luck!

Jimbo

[Mjane]

Wildation,

 

Here is some girl advice... Always CALL a girl within a couple of days of the date if you want to see her again. Don't use email, Ims, etc. CALL. Why? Because most girls want to hear from the guy the next day. They just want to hear him say, hey, I had a good time last night. Wanna go out again? That's it. It's very simple. If your cell phone minutes are gone, use a pay phone.

There is no such thing as playing "it cool." Instead that's speak for playing games... If you are direct and respond quickly... your pain and her pain are resolved quite quickly... if she didn't want to see you again.. you would know within a day or two of going out... instead of waiting... what is it a week?

This whole playing it cool theory or behavior in fact only creates confusion, pain, misunderstandings and you have to fake being you. Don't you want this girl to like YOU?

I of course have my own "cool" standards and that's simply this... you make contact once and if they don't return your call... then you are on to the next person.

I take dating risks all the time. And often they pay off. And it's just a wonderful feeling knowing that if I hadn't taken X risk, then Y wouldn't have happened.

Here is a good example.... the guy I'm dating now... I had a blast on our first date... I couldn't stop laughing... this guy was so funny, interesting, everything... but when he drops me off at my house... he leaves the car in gear, he's on the wrong side of the street to park... I thought he was a bit reserved... so I just opened the car door, I thought I said I had a good time and told him I'd talk to him again. But when I got out of that car I was convinced I was never, ever going to hear from him again. I was quite down about it for the next couple of days because I just rarely meet men like him. And I was depressed it didn't work out. In my book, guys need to initiate calling because guys control the pace and frequency of dates.... it just is. Don't argue with me. But when girls chase guys... it never works.

So, two days pass and I don't hear from him. I decided to send him an email. It said.... had a blast, would love to see you again. He calls me the next night, shocked.

He didn't think I wanted to see him again either because I left the car so quickly. He and I are both terrible at the end of dates. We laughed a lot about it. Couldn't believe how dumb each of us was because we both liked each other. Duh!! So the lesson is risks can pay off!! I've dated so many men that I can tell you... it's rare to find someone you like, who likes you back... take a little risk... if it turns out she doesn't like you... well hell... so you put yourself out there a teensy bit... it didn't work out.. and you move on... the key is to not have any regrets... and guess what, not taking action can really build into future regrets... I know because I spent my 20s not taking any risks and I was miserable.