are two depressed people bad for each other?

[mildgentleone]

I have been spending time with a friend mine. I can talk to him, we have simular problems. I feel better after talking to him. But I have noticed lately that I feel sad when he isn't around to talk to. and maybe that's because I've needed a friend to talk to for so long, and now i have it and it's causing withdrawl feelings...I'm already worried about losing this friend, what if he got a girlfriend for instance. I find myself attracted to him, and I can't fall asleep at night because I think about this "problem" (it's not as crazy as it sounds because if I wasn't worried about this problem I would be awake with something else bothering me). if we were to date, would it be a bad thing? would we feed each others illness? what is the way to tell?

[SkyFire]

How do you know he is "depressed"?

[mildgentleone]

because we talk about it all the time and he's on medication.

[Double J]

My ex g/f used to suffer from depression, and sometimes it got so bad that it actually made me depressed - amazing considering i'm usually very upbeat. Now imagine two people with that problem - it's like a double whammy. I'm not saying it can't work; i'm sure you guys would be able to console each other. But it's very possible that, not only will your depression keep you down, but when you're trying to be high-spirited, his depression might put a damper on that. It's something you have to think about but perhaps you both need "sunnier" partners.

[arwen]

I have been depressed for 2 years in the past, and I am still struggling. But doing really well. During those two years, I had a relationship. The depression started after the first 1.5 year of that relationship, and it really affected the relationship in a negative manner. I was totally depended of him, because I saw him as the only one that could make me happy.

 

Now I have found ways to make myself happy, and am in a new relationship.

 

I think that if you are both depressed, there is a risk of ending up in a co-dependent relationship. It's up to you to decide if you can take that risk.

 

Just another illustration: during my depression I had a lot of contact with people with similar problems. However, I got better and I find it difficult to maintain in contact with the people who are still very depressed. I try to help them, but it has often led to problems. They would compare themselves to me, and in turn, I would feel depressed by their problems, because they reminded me of my past problems. I have decided to keep distance for a while, and was able to keep the friendships. This is just to say that friendships are already difficult when you share the same problems.

 

I hope I helped,

 

Ilse.

[SummerBreez]

It sounds like you just need someone to talk to. Maybe you feel a bond with him because you both share depressive thoughts.

 

Being around a depressed person will only bring you down.

 

You need to be around someone that will have a positive and happy influence on yourself. Someone who will lift you up and be supportive of your needs.

 

You need to be happy with yourself first before you can be in a healthy relationship with anyone.

[EmptySoul]

Like others have said, you two can be good for each other. Because you share the same problems. The hard thing is, if he happens to be in a good mood (just saying If) or if you do, one of you can put a damper on the other. I know how it is, I deal with depression, and my relationship with my best friend has been all over the place bc she wants to get better, and I don't want to bring her down. It's a very hard thing to handle, and you just need to talk to each other about it.

 

Empty