Guys, please explain this to me!

[jessijess]

I don't get it, why do guys like to go for the not-so-nice girls? And I don;t mean the loose ones either. I went out with a few of my girlfriends Friday night & we all had a great time. There was even a little dancing on top of the bar going on. What I don't get is that while I was listening to the way they treat guys & then later on listening to them on the phone with guys, they treat them like dirt. Granted, some of guys intheir lives deserve it. But why do these guys keep coming back for more? After my friend hung up on one guy about 7 times in a row, he called me to talk to me about her. Do I have to start treating guys badly in order to be able to keep a guy around?

[Beec]

Well, I would not put up with it, but it can work.

 

In a way, these guys see the good behavior that each of them gets from these women as a reward, soemthing they earn. It's not a healthy realtionship to wlak on egg shells for days just to get a little nice attention, but if you start doing it, it can be very addictive.

[DN]

again it is not gender specific, girls get treated by guys like that and put up with it. Hard to say exactly why, varies from case to case. I suspect a large part of it is fear that they may not find anyone else. Better a bad relationship than no relationship at all.

 

Other reasons of course, but I bet that is one of the chief ones.

[emma34]

my theory: men are attrated to 'strong' women. Strong can also go along with controlling, moody, even mean, etc.

[DN]

but some men are attracted to weak, needy women.

Others are attracted to women they see becoming an equal pertner.

[FuriousSam]

It's more of a challenge thing. People don't like something nice and easy where it is boring for them.

[bull]

i like nice girls. the mean ones arent worth my time.

[heloladies21]

Don't even think about changing the way you treat guys. I like nice girls and never chase the mean ones. It's just not worth it.

[Mun]

Maybe their " I don't need you" attitude comes accross as independent and confident...a bit challening (and attractive) to some people. They want what they can't have because they think.. man if I get this girl I'll be the man!

 

You shouldn't have to be mean to get a guy to notice you. I remember a friend of mine always had guys chasing her. One time this guy shows up at my house late at night to talk with me about her. He was going out of his mind he liked her so much. This other time a guy serenaded her with this love song. She was really sweet to the guys though. She also wasn't a doormat and took care of herself first. Never chased a man and never put up with bad treatment. She thought she was special... and then...interesting thing..the guys thought she was pretty special too.

[vitalcoaching]

Hi,

 

Have a minute? A couple more ideas on the topic.

 

Guys love confident girls. It is true that a girl who is not challenging in any way will quickly sound boring or average. I know it is tough but it is the same the other way round.

 

Wussies are not attractive. They sound weak and surrendered. Wussies will become your best friend but for a lover, you'll look usually further. You'll look for passion and confidence, right?

 

So, as a girl you can keep on questioning it or you can simply go with the flow and give guys what they want.

 

If you are in doubt, try and experiment.

 

Dating attitudes are like a shirt you put on. All are authentic. They are all you! You simply decide what role you want to play in a guy's life.

 

You try things and see what works and what doesn't.

 

You will notice that what often emerges are power games.

 

If a guy is an easy "catch" strangely enough you loose interest very fast.

 

It is instinctual.

 

Have you seen a cat playing with a mouse? It's the same type of game.

 

They pretend the mouse will run and then catch it again.

 

Why is that? Because it wakes up thrill and excitement. It wakes up challenge, thrill, conquering drive, etc.

 

Why do people compete in sports? Because competing wakes up energy in your system, in your mind in your body. It makes you feel alive!

 

It is thrilling!

 

If you compete and always win easily, you loose interest and in a way don't expand your potential.

 

On the other hand, if you are challenged, it forces you to go deeper and surpass yourself.

 

Suppose you have to cross a land. You have a challenging path which goes through the mountain picks and another easy path going through the valley.

 

Walking through the valley will be just a walk. Now, heading for the summits which will be a thrilling survival experience you'll later share with your friends.

 

Dating works in a similar way. If your target is too easy and misses this dimension of challenge, you tend to loose interest.

 

There are different ways to challenge a guy.

 

There are different ways to wake up excitement and thrill in him.

 

Now, if you see guys attracted to certain feminine styles, learn from it and expand your skills.

 

Try it and see what works.

 

It is human nature and it is there for a reason.

 

Dare to play the game!

 

You'll be amazed of what happens when you do.

 

Good luck and enjoy!

 

vitalcoach

[al7]

Besides all theories mentioned here there are two quite important:

 

1. Did you noticed if those girls were pretty? Believe me guys like pretty girls and for some time would bear her nasty attitude.

So just check: sometimes some of those girls are simply very cute.

 

2. Some guys were treated badly when they were kids by their moms\female relatives. So? They grew up with that pattern, and if they find girls who treat them in a similar bad way, they cling on her since it is a pattern they were able to recgnize since their childhood.