Phone call from your ex

[Salli]

Hi

 

I have a question to ask...Ive been been going out with this girl for 2 years and couldn't be happier she was the love of my life and we were both in love so much,about 5 months ago she started acting weird...then everything went down hill and i said lets have a break and she said yeh...i said do u want to break up with me and she said yeh.I was heartbroken to hear this,she wrote me a letter that made no sense at all.Two weeks later i saw her with another guy all over her...now my reaction was that she cheeted on me and it all made sense to me now.We were spose to meet up later as friends for coffee ,and she just rubbed it in my face about the other guy,that was it, i never wanted to speak to her again,i had feelings for her but somehow i felt like i no longer new her.Now 5 months later she rang me up crying saying she wants to kill herself and is in love with me still and she thinks about me every day...she said she wanted to meet up with me.I agreed to meet up with her,at first i gave her no sympathy, after all she broke my heart.Then she put her arms around me and tyied to kiss me and stuff.I Guess im still abit inlove with this girl and even though she told me she has been seeing other guys but not at the moment,i just could't help myself falling for her again.I know what you are going to say Wuss...i know.Then we got it on and she invited me inside her house and we sleped together.I spent the whole night and next day with her as if we were together again as a couple.When it was time to say goodbye i said am i ever going to see you again,she said do you want to see me.I said i guess so,she said call me...i said no im not going to call you,your the one that has to call me and that was it.

 

Now what i want to ask is, what do you make of this? She has been taking speed and ecstasy a few times and i think she is abit of a mess, she found out seeing these other guys didn't make her happy at all. I really don't know what her intentions are? Does she want me back or was it that she was that low and depressed and she just needed her self esteem boosted? I know everyone will think im mad but i really want to get back with this girl.Now she rang me up the other day and we went to the beach today...again it was like we were a couple again ,both of us couldn't get enough of each other.She has said some nasty things like ....i said isn't it nice here at the beach its, just like when we were on out holidays and she said( yeh whatever).Also when we went to the shops and i wanted to look at a watch ,she said (looking for a ring for your next girlfriend are you)...what is with this im so confused and have no idea what is going on here...i can't play it by ear...we have now spent 2 days together and even sleped with eachother...what does everyone reckon she wants...On the fone before the 2nd time we meet up again,i said i think i know what you want and she said (i don't want anything,i just want to have fun) well seams after today ,she might want me and we have organised spending next Saturday night together.What do u reckon she wants with me .... any ideas?

 

 

D.S Sydney Australia

[phil1981UK]

I think this one is easy buddy, your just her safety net, she thinks (or knows) you will be there for her when she comes crying, for the sake of your own happiness you need to avoid her and not give in.

 

Sadly i know this is easier said then done (i have been there myself) but it really is the best thing you can do, i promise you now, when she feels better in a few days or weeks she will hurt you again by blowing you off and seeing other guys again, dont let her work you, it will only be unhappiness for you.

 

Its tough but you gotta be strong buddy, real strong.

[DN]

waynerwayner wrote words of wisdom.

 

Also if she is on the drugs she probably doesn't know what she wants from one day to the other. As you said yourself she is a bit of a mess. She is toxic for you right now and your best interests are to get over her, heal your heart and move on.

Good luck

[HajiMaji]

Bro, i read what the people above me wrote, and it seems like good advice.. I know with where i am at in my healing process i would have done exactly what you did, its hard to do the opposite.. I wouldnt be able to do what they suggested.

 

How do you know if shes genuine and how do you know if shes being manipulated by her crazy range of emotions.. Man, my thoughts are with you, i dont want you to get hurt again man it sucks so bad. Good luck man

[goodoleboy]

I agree with all the posts above. It took her 5 months to start to come back and still has no sign to commit to you. If she felt anything she would have contacted you sooner. but its almost like she does not have anyone right now. Trust me I know how it goes. I hate to say this but I have done the same thing in my past. I had a girl that was head over heals and I would go back to her a few times a year when there was nothing else to do. In the end I learned and saw what I was doing and it hit me hard. I may be wrong but it sounds close if ya ask me.

 

Good luck and I wish ya the best.

[PrincessLinzay]

Sadly, I think if she wanted to get back together, she would have just come out and said that. Right now she's enjoying all the benefits of the relationship, without the the committment and responsibility.

 

I would avoid being her little safety blanket. Unless she can make her intentions clear, I would leave it alone. Don't get your heart broken all over again.

 

Good Luck!

[mt_joy]

You're a safety net and she is messed up in the head. You don't want a girl who is on drugs. SO not worth it. Move on and let her find some other guy to bug.

[Salli]

Hey well i have some updated news....i have seen my ex now a few times again since and been getting very mixed signals.I couldn't take it any longer and just came out with it and said that i stilled loved her and wanted her back,she acted like she had no idea and she said you don't want me back,i said i did.She started crying and said why do all guys all want to be more then friends with me.She said she just wanted to be my best friend now....but we are doing all the things lovers do...well i said is there a chance we could ever get back together again in the future and she said yes.What should i do...im in no real rush to find someone new and would do anything to have her back,but somehow i do feel like im a safety blanket and as much as i would like to spent time with her,its time i could be looking for someone else.Now ive been spending the last 4 weekends with her and she rings me and sometimes we go out for a coffee during the week,we kiss and do everything couples would do,ive met her mum again,sometimes my ex acts a little cold to me.What have people done in this situation...im prepared to give her 3 months to come to her senses.She told me she didn't want a b/f ....i said ,u don't want to be my g/f atm but im sure if a cute guy came along and you liked him ,then you would go out with him and she said thats not the case,do people think im crazy waiting and if a girl acts like this to me after 2 yrs together with 5 months break,seams like she is in no real rush to have me back.She is quite happy about the idea of me getting a new g/f ,i said im not interested and want her back.Guess i'll play the waiting game for now.Atleast she rings me and wants to spend every weekend with me that has to be a good sign...just don't know if i should always be available for her or not see her as much so she can miss me,basicially we see each other on the weekends and not alot during the week,hope that way she will miss me more.Any ideas?