Just had drinks with a mutual friend of me and the ex.

[Seymore]

This friend, I'll call M. We've been friends about 14 years. She was one who originally said that if I loved my ex, I would have given her another chance. So I figured she was on my ex's side. M and I used to meet for dinner or drinks once every other month to chat, but when I started dating my ex, I couldn't hang out with M because my ex didn't like it (although my ex CLAIMS she encouraged us to hang out, but it was an argument and I gave in every time). One time my ex even said M told her I was in love with her, which M claimed she never said, and now that I think about it, she may have wanted to start a fight so that I never spoke to M again.

 

Anyway, tonight as we were talking, I saw my ex texted M. I asked what that was about, and M said "I told you I wasn't going to speak about her to you, and I don't want to spoil our first time out in over 2 years". I insisted to know, and M said "She's still really messed up and has been texting me the same crap since you split up. She's annoying me. I told her to move on but I'm a friend to her too so I listen, but I don't tell her anything about you." Then she told me: "I don't want you to get back together with her. If you want to that's fine and you're an adult, but she is a problem."

 

It was the best thing I heard from M since I started dating my ex. She told me about a night when she, my ex and one of their friends went out to a bar. That night I asked my ex to not drink too much but to have fun and maybe text me every couple of hours. She didn't text me for 4 hours, and when she did text, claimed she was sober (I had a feeling she wasn't) and claimed she drove herself home. M told me she was trashed and the friend had to drive her home, not to mention my ex almost got them kicked out of the bar for being so obnoxious.

 

M told me that my ex will always hold a grudge against me and will always blame me for leaving her, but she will never change and that I should not feel guilty and that she broke her own (and her kids') hearts by continuing her behavior after I expressed my concern NUMEROUS times.

 

As we left, she hugged me and said that she hopes we can get back to the point where I can trust her (M), and that we can talk without me worrying if I'm relaying info to my ex. The fact that she said she didn't want us to get back together almost made me cry. It was so nice to hear someone on my side.

[sky09]

M sounds like trouble to me, man. She might be into you, hence all the flip-flopping and telling your ex you were in love with her. I'd keep my eyes and ears open around her.

[Seymore]

I don't think that's the case at all. I really don't believe M would say (or have reason to say) I was ever in love with her - especially to my ex, especially while we were together. My ex had a way of either twisting things around or putting words in peoples' mouths, including mine. I remember one time M caught wind that my ex was jealous of her. M told my ex "If we were into each other, something would have happened by now". Not to mention M is married with 2 kids, and I grew up with her husband.