Broken up for over a year

[Dinaah]

We have been broken up since spring 2014 and I recently came into contact with him again. I suggested going out for coffee sometime and he immediately asked what day/time I was free.

 

When we were together we never fought and we generally had a happy relationship. I initiated the breakup because the relationship was moving in a pace too fast for me. I felt like I wasn't ready for it but now more than a year and a half later I think I'm ready for the things he wanted in the relationship (serious commitment, marriage).

 

However he never initiates conversation, I have to write him or he never will.

 

We have been in contact immediately after the breakup, about six months later and now 10 months later. I initiated all the contact and he's been receptive.

 

I'm wondering if it's too late to get him back and wondering if he just agreed to meet to be polite.

 

Any thoughts on what I should do?

[IAmFCA]

Go slowly. He obviously wants to say yes to you, which he illustrated by his response to your invitation.

 

You do not know anything more than that. Try to take it in one moment at a time. He has had 10 months to reflect as well, and may have different needs now.

[dave_1966]

'Any thoughts on what I should do?'

 

How about saying to him 'dumping you was the worst mistake of my life', because being totally honest that would be the first thing I'd want to hear from you in his shoes. If you can't do that I'd leave him alone.

 

Be honest, did you dump him to be with someone else? It's unlikely you didn't, and perhaps you should mention that to him as well.

[lilygirl]

I would take it slow as IThink suggested. He is obviously interested as he was eager to set a date/time. I think you should get together, feel things out, and then go from there.

 

It is understandable that he is not initiating contact, perhaps he feels he has to protect himself as he does not know what your intentions are at this point. There are endless threads on here about an ex bf/gf reaching out, the importance of being cautious, and dodging the dreaded breadcrumbs from an ex so I think it is important to be mindful that this may be his position. If you are interested in pursuing this again, and it seems you are, do not let his lack of initiating contact be a deterrent. As the dumper, you are going to have to take the lead for a bit.