BF Is Never Around

[Zanei]

I'll give the whole story. I ended up meeting a League streamer who I became friends with, nothing amazing, but just friends. Through him I met his cousin, who lives about 6 hours away from me. His cousin and I became friends, again nothing amazing, just friends. We'd play video games together and then just leave and not really talk about anything BUT games. Then he randomly found me on Facebook and added me. I add a lot of my online gaming friends so it wasn't anything weird in my opinion, but apparently he NEVER uses Facebook so it was something to him, since he doesn't really ever get on, so him adding me was a big deal in his opinion. Then we ended up adding each other on Steam and started playing other games together.

Apparently he didn't know I had a boyfriend (at the time), which didn't last much longer because that relationship went pretty stale. Feelings just weren't there. This was in the first few weeks on knowing this other guy. He never did or said anything that would compromise my relationship, but when he found out he seemed kind of bummed by it. But he was still just a friend and he was there for me when I broke up with my boyfriend. He was there for me when my family and I got into a huge fight that almost became violent. He was just there for me in general.

Then he started flirting the more he got to know me. It was cheesy and hopeless romantic flirting, which I love. He'd always say really corny things that just made me giggle. We started hanging out on Skype video chatting more and more and he'd call every time before he went to bed, and usually fall asleep on the phone with me. Then we started talking about how we felt about each other. I felt stupid about it, I felt like I was in high school with a crush on some guy that made me babble and turn red every time I saw him. It made me embarrassed to feel that way, but it was genuine. He seemed to different from other guys, in a good way, and he always told me to never compare him to 'other guys' because he was completely different from them. I.E. he had to go dog sit for his mom one weekend and it took him forever to get home from his house so we didn't speak for a night, the next day his first message to me was "hey, we really need to talk." No girl likes hearing that phrase. I panicked. He just said "yeah...." And as soon as he called on Skype I asked what was up, what did we need to talk about, and the only thing he said was "I think you're gorgeous and I missed you, a lot." I started laughing hysterically cause I was so shaken and then he says that. His first response was "Don't compare what other people say to what I'm going to say / do."

We talked about dating. He even asked me to be his girlfriend at one point and I said no (this is around 1.5 months after being out of a relationship) because we hadn't met in person yet. He agreed with my answer. We talked about all the pros and cons, how a 6 hour distant relationship would work, the fact that I have a 3 year old son and am going through a divorce still while trying to get back into college. All of the differences we have, everything in between. He hasn't been in a real relationship in 4 years (or so he says) and he wanted to make sure I was serious about everything because he said he was going to invest a lot of time, and probably money too, into this relationship, but he wanted to make sure that I was sure about him.

Then his cousin (the streamer) told me that going after people I like is always a good thing, but that he thinks it would never work out between me and his cousin. I have no idea why he said this as he wouldn't elaborate. I got confused and my guy had no answer to give me, he seemed just as confused.

 

Well he came down to visit me on the last weekend of September, stayed for the whole weekend, even brought me a first date gift. I was the one that asked him out so I paid for the date. It went more than amazingly well, we clicked so perfectly. He's so goofy and funny and cheesy. I was the one that asked him to be my boyfriend and he said yes.

Then he went home.... We talked that Monday and then again on Wednesday (the 28th and 30th). He had a business trip coming up soon (2 weeks from this time) and on Wednesday he asked me if I wanted to go with him, IF his company would allow it (in the end they said no), but that he wanted me to go so we could spend more time together in real life. He kept using the word WE (no talking about me in that though) and I kept asking him who WE was, he got upset saying that I was being doubtful and un-trusting. We got into a small argument and didn't end the night on best terms. Then I didn't hear from him until the 5th - He said his phone and internet had been cut off. 1) He GPSed the entire way down here and doesn't have unlimited data so that'd understandable. 2) The internet, Comcast screwed him and his roommates over pretty good with a $600 bill which we had talked about before. Both of these things had been known to me before he went MIA so I understood. I told him how the whole no contact thing made me feel, part of me felt like I was being played for a fool and told him that if he really wanted to contact me he could easily find a way, drive to a McDonalds for free wi-fi with his phone or laptop and shoot me a message on Skype, E-mail, wi-fi calling, Steam message, ANYTHING, but he chose not to. He agreed it was his fault and he kept apologizing throughout the night about it and laid everything on pretty thick.

We ended that night on a very good note. He said that tomorrow (the 6th) he was going to be online pretty earlier since he had forced himself to get so much work done without having internet, and the fact that he had that trip coming up soon - so work had to be done. He kept telling me how much of an amazing girlfriend I am, how pretty and funny I am, laying it on really thick. That's the last I've heard from him.

I've tried calling and texting, his phone rings for 30 seconds then goes to voicemail. I've left only 1 voicemail. I haven't spammed him like a crazy person, but it's going on 6 days now.....

I had even talked to him about how I thought maybe he was ignoring me (the last time we talked anyways) rather than just breaking things off with me face to face, hoping I'd go away. He said that he wouldn't do that, that he wouldn't just jump out of somebody's life without a word.

He's supposed to be visiting this weekend.

I've though over everything about how maybe I was being used, but in the end it doesn't add up to me. He doesn't overly sexual me, and he gets upset when I do that to him. He's always like "Yeah, the sex was great, but what about how I hugged you, held you, kissed you, it kind of offends me you don't bring that up more often." Let alone to drive 7 hours and only bring 1 condom, it just doesn't make any sense, especially considering the trip also burnt out his transmission, which I felt bad about, but he said it was totally worth it to see me.

Am I over reacting?

 

Sorry for the terribly long post