Sending flowers to a friend for Valentine's day

[AKsuited]

So, question for the general public. There's a girl I'm interested in, and she knows I'm interested. But she tells me at this time that she just wants to be friends because she's just gotten out of a relationship. We chat all the time online, and I've met up with her, as friends, a couple times as well.

 

Do you think she'll interpret sending her flowers (I'm thinking yellow roses, not red) for Valentine's Day as a bold move to reenforce how I feel or a desperate attempt that would make me look too anxious?

[DN]

flowers make a definite statement, especially at Valentine's Day

 

How about a card - not too romantic, preferably blank inside so you can write your own non-pressuring message.

 

If you must send something, send a small potplant - less over the top

[emma34]

i think valentines day gifts are ALWAYS a good thing...even from friends. it depends what kind of girl she is i think on this one, and how you have acted towards her. i'm thinkin a gift maybe a little less traditional boyfriend/girlfriend. hmmm - like a little teddy bear....i dunno - i can't think of anything at this moment, but something personal would be best of course.

[Double J]

If you want to give her flowers, I think you should do it as a "friendly" gesture, but don't expect anything to come out of it. In other words, don't give her flowers with the expectation that it will increase your chances of her thinking you as more than a friend. She told you she just came out of a relationship and isn't ready. My advice to you is to be careful in not investing your emotions because I'm sure you don't want to end up as the rebound guy. Some girls like to use guys as a crutch when most convenient, and many times it tends to be guys they know like them.

[chai714]

Do nothing for her on V-Day. You won't take my advice, but it's the best thing you could do.

 

You don't want to make a romantic move right now, and a gift on V-Day defines romance. You can seduce her over time, but it does not start by buying her any gifts. See if you can get her to do you a favor in the near future. Human nature tells us that when we help others, they tend to have better feelings toward us and thereforeeee, would increase the likelihood of her actually beginning to like you. You can use psychological tactics to win her, but it does not start with buying her a gift. If anything, that would get her to back off even further.

 

What if someone got you something that you did not have romantic feelings for? You would be flattered, but that's about it. Remember, it's about how she feels, not how you feel about doing thing for her. Always try to put yourself in her shoes to see how she would feel before you take action.

[AKsuited]

Chai714, you make a good point. I guess with this girl, I find her very interesting and enjoy talking to her, albeit online. But I do realize she's never actually done anything for me. I've sent her a physical card for christmas in the past, and in return i get an ecard. bleh.

 

Not sure how much I want to invest in this girl. I'm not very good with psychological games and making her do me a favor. Any advice? Either that or, the way i see it, I should probably talk to her less and if she makes a move great. If not, I should just accept the friendship and move on.

[Jimbo10]

Well, here's what I think

 

This isn't too tough. SHE ALREADY KNOWS YOUR INTERESTED!!!

 

That makes life easy. It's not like she'll get these flowers and be like

 

"oh my goodness, _____ must like me, how aukward"

 

She'll just know that your thinking about her. Just, don't go over the top, make sure that it isn't so big that she'll think you didn't understand her saying she had just ended a rough relationship. Maybe just a small boucette, or a pot plant. And maybe a small note saying something sweet.

 

I don't see the harm in it at all. Go for it!

Good luck

JImbo

[Cecelius]

what Chai and Jimbo said. Surely she will be, at best, thrilled that someone out there is interested in her. What better way to pump up her ego for a while.

 

This will of course get you no where. Stop talking to her online so much since she'll just tend to regard you as a consistent, dependable source of self-satisfaction. If she contacts you, tell her you can't talk since you have plans and that you know if you spent too much time online with her on V-Day, she'd be so crazy with lust that she'd start licking the screen. Then tell her -- with humor in your voice-- that you can probably squeeze her in if she's a good girl later on.

[toggle]

I would say don't give her them

[phil1981UK]

I agree with not given anything to her... she has told she just wants to be friends... if you give her something she may think your being pushy and that will not work in your favour.

 

I agree with the post about working her over time, but not to much time or youll miss the window and the next thing you will know she will be with some other guy.

 

Play it cool, make her laugh, get flirty with her, play around, make her time with you fun... if theres any chance of being with her this is proberbly the way to go.

 

Good luck what ever you decide.

[AKsuited]

You also make a good point Cecilius. I guess I'll just have to play it by ear. My biggest fear, I guess, is that I don't want to tell her "I'm busy" to the point she doesn't want to talk to me either. Its a fine line I guess. But yeah, I do notice I talk to her online WAY too much, hence giving her a consistent feeling of self-satisfaction. Thanks for the advice.