I'm all of the sudden trying to save my marriage

[journeynow]

I'm sorry you are going through this. Reading Tolle is good, anything about mindfulness, and learning to manage or control your own thoughts. (It's these days, early in a break up, we drive ourselves nuts and inflict suffering on ourselves with our thoughts.) As for eating, I found fruit smoothies, smooth soups, and yogurt helpful, easier to swallow and keep down than solid food. And for sleeping, listening to audio books helped me fall asleep. At first I chose books aimed for young adults, the plots and themes and narrators' voices were more suitable to the support I needed. And watch comedy movies for a break and a chance to laugh, or at least smile and snort. One breath at a time, you'll get through this, and you will feel better.

[lostandhurt]

I have never been a pill guy but when I was messed up like you my doctor wrote me a script for Lexapro. It is pretty mild and takes a few weeks to start working but it helped me a lot. You take it once or twice a day as prescribed and it helps even out the highs and lows. Mostly the lows..... It isn't that strong but it allowed me to clear my head so I could function and begin to see things in a more realistic light. Ask you doctor about it. It helped me and I am sure it will help you. I stopped taking it about a year after by weaning myself off.

 

I read Tolle and still do to this day. In fact I often have to read parts, put it down and live my life a little and then pick it back up and read the same parts to really grasp the concepts. Learning about my ego and how detrimental it can be has helped me and improved my life so very much. I just wish I had learned that stuff when I was a young man. Better late than never though.

 

Eating is good, sleeping is good and continuing to see your therapist is great!

 

When you see your soon to be ex wife "stbx" take the high road and don't get angry or say things to hurt her. It will only make things worse. Also DO NOT agree to anything either verbally or in writing. You are in no shape to be making promises or choices that may affect you for a long time. There is no rush to decide on any divorce type topics so just tell her you need to think about it and then run it past someone else or post here about it. You are vulnerable right now so be mindful and protect yourself.

 

You are not rambling and don't worry about your writing being a little less than perfect once in a while. We have all been there so relax.

 

Lost

[JDdco]

She's starting to move out tonight. Moving in with the "good time" friend. Surprise surprise. Who also happens to be a "dancer." Everyone else has known more than me for the last month plus.

 

I am dying inside. Both that she's leaving and even trying to grasp how to move forward. This is incredibly hard separating our lives. I can't get over almost 7 years, and the thought of how do I even start over again.

 

I can't fathom how just a month ago I had zero doubts about our marriage and now here we are today. How can I ever trust in another relationship. I feel upside down, and like I can't even trust my own thoughts or comments. Hurting bad today.

[sky09]

Hang in there, JD. That too shall pass. Get out for a run/walk or hit the gym. Get out of your head for a little bit.

[lostandhurt]

One thing at a time. Don't worry about starting over or how will you ever trust again. Just worry about today, take care of yourself and see your doctor and ask about possibly starting some mild meds to help you during this time.

 

What she does or doesn't do really isn't your concern now but I know it hurts. I am sorry I was right, I am sorry she is following a pattern I have seen far to many times but you need to understand this is her, not you.

 

Lost