The Nice Guy 2004 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 All right folks, here's the problem: I'm a nice guy, and call me traditional, but i still think sex should mean something. Problem is, nice girls won't look twice at me, but every proscumius girl I know would do just about anything to get me into bed. Frustrating, isn't it? Any suggestions or comments to get the nice girls would be appreciated. Thanks Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 You know, I've always been wary of guys who advertise themselves as "nice guys" or "honest guys." They never turn out to be nice or honest once you get to know them. Perhaps that's your problem? Link to comment
RayKay Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 How do you know they are promiscous? Word of mouth or personal experience with them? How do you define promiscuity? Sometimes the nice girls have done more than the "promiscous" ones...sometimes those who act one way are really another...and some people deserve a chance. Anyway, you just have to be yourself...and be confident and talk to the nice girls, but appear independent and aloof with them too. Make them feel good, but don't make them feel like you NEED them. Start talking to her about her interests, but don't be 'clingy', ask her out, etc. Be an interesting person - meaning, have interests! Whether it be sports, or art, or volunteering...show that your life is full and that you have individual passions and interests. I am not attracted to guys who do nothing but play videogames and watch tv And annie may be onto something there...I find the guys that I have been most attracted to (and have been in relationships with) are those who don't define themselves as nice or bad...but as whom they are, if that makes sense. The people who don't try too hard, don't try and label other guys as nice guys/jerks and are just condident in whom they are, are respectful and very self aware are those who tend to be the most "real". A lot of posts I see call "most" other guys jerks...to me that is just immature, and defensive. People are indviduals...so be the individual that you are and people will be attracted to that (and some won't) but don't try too hard - people can tell when you are and it is a turn off. Link to comment
The Nice Guy 2004 Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 Trust me, I AM a nice guy. I'm an 18 yr old idealistic virgin who still believes in chivlary. Raised by Catholic by conservative parents, and I still go to mass. Never even had the opportunity to a girl's heart, and never would. And the girls are proscumius because they told me that they'd go out with me if I promised sex by at least the 2nd date. How much more proscumius can you get? Link to comment
DN Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 And the girls are proscumius because they told me that they'd go out with me if I promised sex by at least the 2nd date. How much more proscumius can you get? how many girls? And they all said exactly the same thing? Do you think this was just a coincidence or are they somehow working together to tease you or something. are you sure you are being completely honest with yourself? Link to comment
The Nice Guy 2004 Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 WHat would I gain by lying? Two of the girls knew each other, both approached me sperately. The other two didn't know each other or the other two. I'm merely looking for insight, if you don't want to help, thats fine Link to comment
DN Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 we are here to help - but in order to do so we need to know that you are being honest, not just with us but with yourself. It's no good advising someone if the basic data is wrong. And yours seems odd. Are you sure they are promiscuous or is this some sort of in-joke running around your neighbourhood. Is it happening to other guys? You need to examine your approach. What are you saying and doing to attract the nice girls that isn't working? Similarly what are you saying/doing so that the promiscuous girls approach you? There is something you are doing to have this effect and that is what you have to look at - your behaviour not so much theirs Link to comment
CamaroJoe Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 dude, trust me, i know exactly what you mean. Look at my quote at the bottom of the page TJTWII.... I'd say i'm a gentleman, i always let the ladies go first and all that. I'm not saying i'm completley good either lol but i'm not an A** After i broke up with my ex after 3.5 years. I met this girl at work who ended up liking me. i had her, no take that back, she had me in bed with her the first night I was at her house. But she was hott and I wanted her too lol (not completely good). Then after a few months she moved out of state. Then I met another girl, G, and i ended up sleeping with her after the 2nd time I was at her house. Again, I didn't make the first move on this one either. Not trying to sound manipulative or anything, but it's kinda cool to know that you don't have to make a move. Not saying i'm scared or anything, but if you don't have to, why should you? but that's seriously, my deal too. I always attract the girls that like to have sex. In fact, just the other day this woman asked me if i'd ever have sex with an ebony chick. And they she knew someone who wanted to, not strings, yada yada...I have more morals than that now. well, i hope this helps some Link to comment
cooldude1234 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I can't think of a reason why he would be lying. Anyways, how about next time you get asked out by a 'promiscuous' girl, ask her why she needs to have sex so badly. Link to comment
CamaroJoe Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 It's because girls love sex. Well, if the person they had it with was good. "once you pop the top, you can't stop" - Quote from a girl. Link to comment
annie24 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Well, it just sounds strange. 4 separate girls came up to him and said the exact words, "Hey, I want to have sex with you on or before the 2nd date." Exactly like that. That's how it happened? That just doesn't sound right. If that is exactly that, then maybe they have some sort of competition going on - who can take Catholic boy's virginity first? Link to comment
DN Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 Thank you annie - my point exactly. Link to comment
cooldude1234 Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 If that is exactly that, then maybe they have some sort of competition going on - who can take Catholic boy's virginity first? That could be.... Link to comment
11flower Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I agree with the possibility these girls may have been well, conspiring to get you in bed. I'd say ignore, walk away, leave it, pay no more attention. It isn't bad to wait till marriage, you know, to have sex. You don't have to go with the crowd and be cool and all. Be different and wait till marriage if this is your conviction. I think sex should mean something as well. I didn't wait till marriage, but my husband did and he's not sorry for it. The girls may be playing a joke on ya'. There'll be other nice girls for you. You sound like a gentleman--the most important IMO and what a girl will eventually appreciate most in the long run. Keep your convictions. 11Flower Link to comment
ShySoul Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 If it's a joke or not, ignore these girls. They are clearly not the type of girls you want to be with. As for attracting a ncie girl, keep on doing what you are doing. Eventually I nice girl will notice what a catch you are and start showing interest in you. You'll be going out and in a relationship before you know it. Your a good guy with great values. You are a rare breed in today's world and any girl would be lucky to be with you. Don't get discouraged, a nice girl who is right for you is out there and it's just a matter of time before you find each other. Link to comment
Roasted Carrots Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I'd just like to offer another point of view... It's possiable that these "bad" girls are flinging themselves at you because you are "stable". They're testing out this new type of guy that's been advertised as "nice" by the general population...and in their mind, having sex with you won't get them hurt. What they don't realize is that if this is the case, they are pursuing a relationship for the wrong reasons and you are better off without these insecure girls anyway. I'm inclined to agree with the "competition" theory also. At my school, it's considered adorable when guys blush and sometimes we girls go a little too far to make "nice" guys uncomfortable. What type of reactions do you give these girls? As the previous posters said, if you don't want these girls, pay them no heed. Your girl will come along in good time. Link to comment
11flower Posted February 6, 2005 Share Posted February 6, 2005 I could not agree more with Roasted Carrots and Shysoul. Shysoul gives the advice that I'd keep as meditation if I were you. Ignore those girls; they are a waste of your time, other than the lesson you're now learning, okay? You are certainly a strong stable guy and a girl will be lucky to have a good man like you since good men are rare these days. No offense to the other guys, but your good character, kindess, stability and strength is what a girl will love most in you, no matter what your age or status in life. 11Flower Link to comment
I_love_rain_hugs_and_you Posted February 7, 2005 Share Posted February 7, 2005 When you love someone, you love them for who they ARE and not for who you want them to become. If you will only love girls (or anyone) who is always virtuous, then you will be dissappointed. Almost no one is perfect in that regard. When these "promiscous" girls come up to you, why don't you become thier friend? Maybe they are really looking for someone who has values. You shouldn't reject someone simply because they have a different lifestyle than you. Try to befriend these girls. Be thier friend, rather than rejecting them. Link to comment
The Nice Guy 2004 Posted February 7, 2005 Author Share Posted February 7, 2005 Thanks for the help one and all... ignoring them/ paying no attention is probably my best option. Link to comment
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