Dylan111 Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 I know I have asked questions about her on here before but now I'm finally ready to lessen this friendship. She is 22 I'm 18 so a 4 year difference. I don't know why she likes hanging out with younger people(maybe so she can feel "in charge"?) I have only known her since last year. These are some of the things she does to me, expects me to buy her presents on her birthday, when she doesn't do the same in return for anybody, expects me to buy her food, or stuff at stores she wants, calls me names, makes fun of my dysphoria and social anxiety, tells me "Oh you're 18.... GET OVER IT" when I tell her how I feel, but when she tells me how she feels I actually listen, tells me I'm a horrible person if I don't buy her stuff, completely ignores me when she is over(stays on her phone the whole time), never gives gas money when I pick her up(she can't drive), acts like I hurt her whenever I say no to giving her money or to the word no in general, acts very insensitive towards me and how I feel, tells me I'm spoiled because I get money. I have a job, don't see how that is spoiled? I never brag about it. Begs me for money everytime she sees me, yet she is on welfare and gets more than I even make, still lives with her mother so it isn't like she's starving and needs money. Back in June, she messaged me 6 times telling me how "suicidal" she was. I called the cops(well check) to go check on her, she lied to them. And after that started to text me really mean things and telling me how it is my fault, she tells people my sexuality when that is personal and I don't want them to know, and makes fun of me constantly. I'm starting to realize she is not good for my well being, when she says and does things like that to me it makes me feel upset. Why do you think she is like this? How would you lessen this friendship? Link to comment
Michael777 Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 I would just not reply to her texts or messages any longer and unfriend her from Facebook or other social sites . You can do without someone like that Link to comment
Kelebek Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Hi there. I'm sorry you are experiencing this. Some friendships really aren't healthy for us. It's good that you are recognizing this now and saving yourself from more drama and hurt. I feel that honesty is always best and keeps it clear and clean. In a respectful way you can tell her how you feel (in a letter if that's easier) and tell her that you are choosing to keep distance and not continue to engage in a friendship that doesn't work for you. Keep it about your needs. Good luck! Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 She is a bully, and sees you as a target. You have allowed her to walk all over you. I cannot understand why you have not eliminated this person from your life? You are now responsible for allowing this abuse. You should have cut her off, long ago. Stop being a doormat! Cut her from your life!!! Link to comment
Tinydance Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Well, I think you really need to think as to whether you need a friend like this in your life, she is treating you very badly and I would even go so far as to say emotionally abusing you. If you do decide to end the friendship, I would say just tell her calmly how you feel and why you are ending the friendship. If she starts to send you anything abusive, just block her on all forms of social media, and block her number if you can. If you can't block her then maybe change your number if you can or tell the police that she is harrassing you and maybe they could tell her to stop. Link to comment
Dylan111 Posted August 23, 2015 Author Share Posted August 23, 2015 She is a bully, and sees you as a target. You have allowed her to walk all over you. I cannot understand why you have not eliminated this person from your life? You are now responsible for allowing this abuse. You should have cut her off, long ago. Stop being a doormat! Cut her from your life!!! Well the thing is, she wasn't always like this. At first she seemed really nice and would never do this... But earlier this year(in Janurary) that's when she started treating me like this. I do want to cut her from my life, just wondering how to let her know so she doesn't expect me to talk to her anymore. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 It doesn't matter how she was in the beginning. This is who she is! A bully! I also, need to cut someone from my life. I am going to tell her that the criticisms and digs have become hurtful and embarrassing, and I feel it would be best if we discontinue the friendship. The friendship is no longer working for me. Many of these people will try to throw it back on you, and tell you that you are being too sensitive (gas lighting). You respond again, by saying that the relationship in not working, and wish her well. Period. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted August 23, 2015 Share Posted August 23, 2015 Well the thing is, she wasn't always like this. At first she seemed really nice and would never do this... But earlier this year(in Janurary) that's when she started treating me like this. I do want to cut her from my life, just wondering how to let her know so she doesn't expect me to talk to her anymore. Print and cut out your opening post and mail it to her or just text or email it to her and end it with "As such, I can't see this relationship going any further and I'm sure you'll agree as according to the way you treat me, you not very fond of me. Please do us both the favour of not contacting me again. Good luck in your future." Then ignore anything further she may attempt to send you. She is a manipulator and a user. Those type of people only know one language ~ Direct.and.to.the.point. Link to comment
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