Am I weak?

[Ladywonder123]

Hi, well I suffer from drepression and anxiety. I was diagnosed by a psychiatrist of having generalised anxiety disorder (which I sort of knew I had). I'm about to start a new college course after giving up on a career I've been doing for years. It's very scary and I feel nervous about the work load, the people and if I fail it. I just can't get over feeling that I will fail it or give up. What will people think? Why do I care what people think? Will it make me weak? I always feel like a weak person. I want to feel strong! My Psychologist says I am, but is he just saying that? I did get raped a few years back by an ex boyfriend and another ex after that lied about everything. I've had really bad relationships with boyfriends like them cheating. I got bullied at school and I wasn't the cleverest either. I should say I'm in my early 30s. How do I make myself strong. People who don't know these things about me say I'm very "put together" but I don't feel it. I hate the way I am! Please help me xx

[Willywagtail]

You stop thinking you're weak, and you tell yourself you're strong. I apologise if this sounds trite, but it's a matter of changing your thinking about yourself.

 

It's hard, because your life experiences have convinced you that you're a victim, and that its your weakness which makes you vulnerable to abusive men and to failure.

 

This is a lifelong way of thinking for you which has created a certain thinking pattern and a perspective, so anytime anything happens to you to attribute it to your weakness. Changing your thoughts is a really hard thing to do - because you need to focus and be aware of what you're thinking - but it's possible to deflect or shift those thoughts. It's like a bad habit - you can change it, but it takes time.

 

Remember, 'weakness' is not what you are. It's what you think you are. It's your thoughts that create this weak version of yourself. Other people see you differently, so that already gives you a hint that your thoughts may be skewed. Talk to your therapist about techniques to change those nehpgative thought patters, and do some reading on the Internet.

 

You're not a weak person! Challenge those thoughts and start creating a different version of yourself.

[SpottiOtti]

Yeah, that's pretty much what you gotta do. You have to first identify your negative self-talk (ask your psychologist for some worksheets, there are a ton of them, or Google "negative self-talk CBT" and see what pops up), then start to recognize when you are telling yourself these things, then start to replace the negative thoughts with functional ones. But first begin to listen to your internal monologue, pick out those negative thoughts, start to recognize them when they happen.