Ex-Girlfriend Confusing me and I still have feelings for her

[WildRide86]

Sorry for the long post, but I feel it really takes all of this to undertsand what is going on and what people think I should do and feel... If anyone even bothers to read

 

Me and this girl that I go to school with started spending a lot of time together in school due to a theater production that we both were heavily involved in. Before this we never really talked but slowly eased into us talking a lot more in school to the point where she had tried to get my number so she could text me. At the time I had no feelings for her and was un-aware that she had any towards me seeing I was at the time in trance over another girl(who I now realized ain't that great). But as time went on it turned into the point that we talked more and more each day. I found myself dropping everything and texting this girl for as long as 5 hours non-stop for weeks. I had started to develop feelings for her and at this point I'm was sure she was, for lack of a better phrase, going crazy for me.

 

You see I'm the kind of person who really like to tak things very slow because I get really attached to people and will become very loyal so before I do this, I want to make sure I am fully comtorable with the person.

 

As time went on we still talked for hours and we were basically having conversations of that one would have with their girlfriend/boyfriend. We had basically started acting like we were dating minus it being official and the romantic side. We would go out of our ways to spend time with each other during school hours by ditching classes; just to be with around each other.

 

As time went on I began to feel comfortable with the idea of committing to a relationship with her and at this point its had been a month and a half that we had been talking very intimately and she was getting upset by the fact that I wasn't asking her out and quite honestly, I have no clue why I didn't sooner. Until one day I decided to ask her out and with no surprise she said yes.

 

We still talked as we usually did, and we did see each other every day still because of school and by this time our theater play had ended. But due to both of our schedules being hectic, we couldn't really find much time to have to go out. It took 3 weeks after we made it a thing but we finally went out and we basically just basked in each others company the whole time. We were so comfortable with each the that she didn't want a formal date she just wanted to walk and talk, so we did that for hours. It went well that day and a few other dates after that.

 

Then 2 or so weeks later we went out again on a date that we thought we might not be seeing each other again for a while after due to the fact that school had ended and she was going to be away for 2 weeks, one of those weeks without being able to contact me in anyway. This however didn't really effect the way we felt towards each other that day - we spent the whole day together and just acted as if we usually would. We we're very upset to leave each other that evening.

 

So jump forward a week and she's go cell reception again, first day she gets it back first thing she does is text me and we catch up a bit before we get into the cute(and dumb) conversation of who missed who more. Sure we weren't physically seeing each other but just the fact that we talked again made both of us happy. So the next week goes by and we talk regularly but from here on out it goes kind of sour.

 

She gets back and is into the idea of seeing me as soon as possible but due to conflicting schedules; we were unable to do that. As time passes we keep not being able to settle on a date due to conflictions. Communication seems to get less and less from her end. I'm sending every kind of text trying to get her to talk to me in anyway but she rarely talked to me and if she did, it wasn't for very long. Friday of that week rolls around and she's having people over for a small party, basically she was having abon-fire with a few close friends. Due to my band being in the studio, I couldn’t make it. She seemed very cold when I told her I couldn't make it and simply replied to my long text saying sorry for not being able to make it with a "k, cool." She didn't say much after this until that night when her friends were over. She seemed to have texted me then like we use to text. I was pretty sure she must have been under some stress from multiple things lately and just her being around her close friends realized that she had also lacked communication with me and she wanted to just let me know what was going on.

 

She was also doing some classes in summer so that was consuming a lot of her time and I'm pretty sure adding some extra stress. On top of everything she had also never really had that great of a relationship with her mom and lately it seemed to have gotten worse. Still living at home, she had to have gotten extra stress from this. Days went by where we wouldn't talk and then would talk for very little via text. She had tried to meet up with my once or twice to spend time together but it was very last minute and I was busy.

 

As time passed we're about 3 weeks into not seeing each other. We schedule a date to meet each other but the day before she cancels for a reason I do not remember. next week is week 4 of use not seeing each other and we schedule for another day but she she had left an assignment to the last minute and said she needed to work on it. The only reason I believed her is because she is not one to every stay up late, she's an early riser, and at this point she was texting me al night due to the fact that she pulled an all-nighter to write an essay which is not like her. Just in general that night she tried to text me so I think she felt bad about canceling. That time and the first time she wanted to re schedule and we did re schedule again for a few days later.

 

The day comes that we're suppose to go out and she's usually one to be up at 6 am so I decided I will try to get up and early that day to text her and try and find out what she wants to do. Weirdly enough she doesn't reply to me for hours - until about 11;30 or so - where she says she's woke up and was feeling like crap. This lead me to think a few things about this... a) she way lying and didn't want to go out that's why she took forever to text me b) she was genuinely sick and slept in or felt bad about canceling. HOWEVER the idea odd re schedule didn't really come up and the last thing said we me telling her to feel better.

 

Over the next two days, we didn't really talk. I, as per usual, tried to initiate contact with her but got little to no response. Until one day she ended up having a quite long conversation with me as we use to always do. Then I felt much better about the standing of our relationship even though I hadn't seen her for 5 weeks. Then over the next two days she doesn’t talk to me at all. I’m now starting to think she's avoiding me and don't really know what to do. So I just go on with my life as usual...

 

I go over to my best friend's place, who also happens to be a friend with my girlfriend, and while I'm there I try to text her and she doesn't reply so I bring up my issues with my relationship with her. With him knowing her he just casually texts her "hey" and she replies quite quickly, still not reply to my text. They exchange a few texts to the point wher emy bestfriend says that they should Skype and talk. He wanted to see if he could just talk to her about how her summer was going and have usual talk as they usually would because they had some classes together the past semester. He also was going to try and bring me up in a fashion of just asking how our relationship was going.

 

This whole time I was sitting on the other side of the room listening feeling bad about doing this but he reassumed me that I just needed some answers from her somehow. He eventually got to the topic of me and asked how the relationship was and she replied with just a brushed over sigh like noise. He then asked what that means and she replied "I don't know, whatever." He then asked "So are you two still a thing" to which she replied "Well he thinks we are... so we are." I spent hours trying to figure out what the this meant until I realized it meant nothing and her emotions were speaking. That about where the whole conversation got to. After that I was quite heated but it was late and I won’t going to say anything I would regret to her so I slept on it and gave it the 24 hour rule.

 

The next day I texted her saying "We need to talk" to which she replied quote quickly saying "okay. When." I then tried to find a time that day and she was busy. She asked if Skype was okay and at tha point I thouht it was better then nothing so I said sure. Later that evening when I got home from work, I asked her if she could skype then to which she said she wasn't at home. I asked twice more through the evening to which she didn't reply. I had just assumed she'll text me when she could. Then around 2 pm the next day she still hadn't contacted me so. I was unsure if she was now avoiding this talk if becuase she thought I would break up with her or something but I was so fed up at this point. I knew I was gonna be away and unable to talk for the next 4 days and (because of the Skype call with my best friend) I knew she would be away for the next week and a half so we wouldn't be able to talk. Knowing that I sent her a long text semi-explaining everything.

 

I went from everything to everything in that text. I accused her of avoing me to saying sorry for if I did something wrong. She replied saying that promised she wasn't avoiding me and it's just been hard to get out with me and she doesn't know if she can commit due to me not meeting her family yet (because she really doesn't like them and doesn't want me to meet them) and her family being quite cold about her going out with me for some reason. Still living at home she said that she didn't know if she could commit. I offered to meet her family to which she replied "I'm sorry I really do care about you, I just have to sort out. Life is kind of crazy right now." I then told her I was there if she wanted, or needed, someone to talk to. That was the last thing said.

 

This left us in an awkward place because it didn't really feel that much like a breakup, a lot because it was over text. But after this we didn't talk anymore.

 

A few days go by and just nothing from her. Now comes the part where I start to wonder. She usually posts photos to her Instagram account with a lack of a caption or a meaningless one. She's now posting all these photos with quotes about love from songs or just a picture of the way from her trip caption how the water is her one true love. I'm thinking(and hoping) this is a coincidence. But she then proceeds for the next few days to like everything I post, quite instantly, and try to inject her way into anything on the internet involving me. She was never like this before, she wasn't really that much to follow all my social media like a hawk before and like everything right away, she barely touched wha I put on ths internet at all. I then decided to draw the conclusion that she's trying to get my attention. Am I right about that?

 

Time passes and she tones down on this stuff a bit and after a bit starts slowly removing the post about love after her knowing I've seen them. She just seems to have been playing dumb games for a while now an its iterating me.

 

Now 2 weeks after we last spoke in that awkward text convo I'm not sure what to so mu best friend just out right texts her asking her whats going on pretending all I have basically told him nothing. to sum up what she sai she basically said that she hadn't talk to me in 2 weeks since we broke up. He then questioned her a ton (which at this point I begged him to stop) but he kept going to the point that she was answering his questions but then ignored him and she then texted me saying "Do you want to talk about anything????" She seemed quite angry at this point so I tried to lighten it up by saying that "oh yea he’s being a to me to asking the same questions and ." At this point I had also told my best friend that she texted me and he replied "Your Welcome" and now I understand that he knew I just wanted to clear things up with her and he wanted her to talk to me.

 

I then explained very few things to her about why my best friend was doing this just saying he felt very in-between and out of the loop because he's friends with bost of us and its akward for him. She then said that if I wanted to talk face to face, she would do that. I eventually replied saying I would like and appolizing for my long reply time. She said "All good let me know when you're free" and we have been trying to find a time to talk. In the next few days I we will hopefully talk.

 

So my confusion here is does she actually wanna talk?or is she doing it because I do? Does she still have feelings for me and wanna see if we can get over this and continue? I know I still have feelings for her and because of that I don't know what to expect out of this talk we're going to have. This has been the first time I've ever felt this way about another person before. She just seems like to be the girl of my dreams even though I'm still quite younge and 7 weeks without seeing her makes me upset. I know I cannot be around her and be a friend which is what will happen when school starts backup. Any guidance or ideas would be appreciated.

[angelamckenzie]

She sounds extremely immature and reading this is making me cringe. You are so much more mature than she is and I commend you for that. This girl is a time waster and in 5 years, you will look back(if you will even remember her) and agree with me.