I need help on a messed up situation!!

[Averageguy29]

- my long and confusing/pathetic situation that I need help with...so I've been best friends with this girl(K) I work with for several years, during the time we met, we were both in committed relationships with bad people. We laughed, joked, gave each other advice, and help one another through difficult times. Well both of our relationships of three years ended around same time. After a few months of being single her and I both were texting one day and both of us admitted to liking each other since the day we met and never acted on it because of the fact we were in relationships, well after about a week of texting and opening up to each other about everything, about four months ago we decided to spend a night together and hang out, one thing led to another and we had sex. After many deep conversations we decided to be friends with benefits because she needed time to heal from her previous relationship but had needs as well did I. I was there for her And she was for me and for a would often stay at her house for weeks at a time before going back to mine, keep in mind that I work and still work with her so many times I would see her 24/7. It felt like a relationship and anyone looking from the outside in would agree but she insisted that it wasn't and that she didn't want to be in a relationship, just wanted sex with one person, me. Well I grew feelings for her and she sorta did as time went on but she was conflicted between her feelings for me, feelings for her ex, and another ex(her abusive baby's father) but she hated him with a burning passion. about two months ago she kept telling me this was just sexual and she wanted nothing more so I left it to just that, sex. Well I met a girl(G) about a month ago who I really hit it off with and she really likes me, she's everything I could ever hope and want and though I feel just as strongly about her as she does me I cant help but feel like I still love the other girl(K). The other girl(K) still talks to me and we still have sex but she tells me we can never be because we don't communicate well and we annoy each other too much and it hurts because I tried so hard to make this girl mine. And during the course of us talking on this level we have had conversations about us being together and maybe it'll work, that I'm better than her lasts, sex is better,ect ect. But lately she's been back talking to her baby daddy on a level much more than just about their daughter so now she's considering on giving him a chance, because she believes he's changed, and pushing me away. The girl(G) I met I am now dating but I have this empty feeling inside because though I have an amazing girl(G), the girl(K) I truly want doesn't want me at all and until she does decide to get back with her baby daddy she still wants to hang out and have sex and because I like her and the sex is beyond amazing I will gladly hang out and have sex with her. She(K) is unaware I'm dating another girl and I'm torn inside, Because I want (k) but feel like (G) is better for me. What should I do, I already know but I need to hear it from others.

[Andrina]

Neither of you had any business dating so soon after the end of a 3 year relationship. You should have been alone for at least 6 months to mourn the old relationship, and figure out what you really want in a new relationship. Regardless of your chemistry with K, she is emotionally unavailable and is not crazy about you, otherwise she'd want to be exclusive with you. You are in a bad relationship with her, just as you were in a past bad relationship, probably in a different way, therefore, you've learned nothing from your past experience.

 

Stop having sex with K. Stop being friends with her. Tell her you need to treat her as just another co-worker, since you need to move on. Find another job if at all possible. Perhaps then, you will have a chance with G. G does not a deserve a man who is not fully invested in her, so if that can't be you, let her go.

[Misa Amane]

YES! what she said.

[Averageguy29]

Thank you both for your opinion, it's just hard because i like girl k a whole lot more so the difficult part is winging myself off of her because though I rely like k, girl g is the better one for me. I'm not being dishonest to girl g because I told her about girl k and the sex I have with her. If anyone in my opinion can look past and still have hope then she is a keeper. Girl g is 37 and girl k is going on 33. I'm 29 so idk if her being so much older than me is making it hard to commit. I probably sound rediculous but it's the truth

[Sarah691607309662]

To be honest, I do not think anything would work out with K. I also think it is not right to try to love G when you really do not have feelings for her.

 

The only thing you might try - go ahead and tell K about G in the context that you can not have more sex with her (K), since you met G. See how she reacts. If she loves you without realizing it, you will see it. If she flatly agrees, here you go - break it up - it is not a good energy to sleep with someone who is not into you.

[Averageguy29]

You're absolutely right, thank you so much for the advice