tinababe Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 ok...i have read peoples comments for the last few days...and the commments are awesome! i was hoping you could help me with my problem. My first boyfriend broke up with me almost exactly a year ago. I took it very hard at the time. and sometimes it still bugs me. He broke up with me because i had some personal problems that ended up making me behave in a certain way i shouldn't have. anyways, ive apologized so many times when he brings it up but...i believe i truly did love him and i don't know how i can get over ruining a relationship like the one we had. We now are best friends! we talk all the time and sometimes i can see that he still has feelings for me and i think we both agree that our relationship just kind of ended. It never really gradually got worse, we just hit a tough spot and split instead of trying to work it out. We have confronted each other about this when he liked me again. Anyways, i heard from a close friend of his that he liked me again which i was thrilled about it once i heard it. Before i hadn't really thought about him that way again. Then he asked me to winter ball and we had a great time. I thought things were awesome, and i felt loved again. Then i found out that night that he called my best friend and told her he liked her. Also, the night before winter ball she asked if she could have a dance with him, just because she wasnt very fond of her date. I said ok...and they ended up dancing with each other the last song. My ex also has told me that he likes my best friend and...i dont know...i guess im kind of jelous. Not that if he were to have asked me out again, i would have said yes, but it felt good being liked again. Especially since i haven't gone out with anyone since him and he has, it just...makes me feel weird. Not to mention my best friend was dumped by her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago. Shes all saying, that she wants a bf really bad and how much she needs one and ive been single for practically a whole year. And then i found out ont he phone frm my ex that my best friend keeps calling him just to talk...i have a feeling my best friend is leading him on because she told me she wasnt ever going to go out wiht him, because she knows in some ways i still have feelings for him but that it isn't who she is. I need to get over this guy. REALLY BAD! and its not like i don't attract guys or anything either, i just never make it to the next step. ive heard of guys liking me and we flirt and things go good, but they just neveer ask me out....i dont think im on the rebound but i feel like the only way ill be contempt with myself is if i go out with someone else, just to prove to myself that my ex isn't the only person that will go out with me....even though it seeems that way. I guess the real question is how to not be jelous of my best friend and her ability to attract guys when really people always comment on how pretty i am and how fun i am..and its not like they like her to try and get something from her cuz shes not like that....i guessi just really am jelous...and i dont no how to get over it...and maybe not just of her...but because she has my ex boyfriend's heart because in reality i get jelous of all the girls my ex talks to me about liking. I just try not to let it show...any advice would be really appreciated....i need it because im really blowing this out of proportion i think and the only person i feel i can talk to is involved in my problem.... so lost....y does love have to be so hard... Link to comment
Meow18 Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 What you need to do is get over your ex. The only way this will happen is if you stop talking to him and hanging out with him for now. It's hard to do, but it really will help you get over him. It's not like you even have to permanently stop hanging out with him. Just tell him that you need time away from him. I can understand how hard it is to not get jealous about girls your ex likes. However, once you get over him, you won't care as much. So the way to control your jealousy would be to get over him. Link to comment
savannahohsavannah Posted February 4, 2005 Share Posted February 4, 2005 I don't like reading your post because of all of your abbreviations. Would you go back and edit this to Standard English, please? Link to comment
helpneeded Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 i just figured it out myself.....must mean bestfriend! Link to comment
tinababe Posted February 5, 2005 Author Share Posted February 5, 2005 im srry for all the abbreviations...i edited it for everyone a bff is a best friend forever a bf is a boyfriend my bad guys Link to comment
tinababe Posted February 5, 2005 Author Share Posted February 5, 2005 is there any other way to get over an ex without staying clear from him for a while....because i mean, i have my moments of jelousy but, he is a really great friend too, and i don't think i could go without having him as someone to talk too. Any other way? Link to comment
savannahohsavannah Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Okay, first I understand that you have been away from your ex for a year. This is a good thing to know...I think it may still be too soon for you to be friends with this guy. And yes, it does sound like your best friend and your ex are developing an interest in each other. And Guess What? You must not say one word. Not one. Because you know what? You would want the freedom to move on, if you wanted to move on. Anything else would be unfair. To him and you. Link to comment
tinababe Posted February 5, 2005 Author Share Posted February 5, 2005 ok...im very sorry...but i can't just stay away from my ex boyfriend....we have a very unique friendship that i am not willing to give up. We talk about everythign and yes i have moments when i like him again but that must b natural considering he is my first boyfriend....plus it isn't like i don't like other people...because i do...sorry for not making that clear....plus...i have a group of friends...there is 9 of us....we've been friends since freshman year....im now a sophmore...and we do everything as a group...we go c movies....shopping and we both go to those hang outs and i don't want to miss anything.....i guess if the only way i can get over my ex and get away from this pain is to stay away from him...ill just take the pain because when i eventually do get over him ill also have an awesome friendship...am i totally out of line or do i make sense...i cant really tell nemore Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 Wow...it sucks when your best friend gains an interest in your ex and vice versa. I just feel like its some unwritten rule between friends that you don't do that when you know your friend still has feelings for her ex. I mean, there are tons of other eligible guys out there. I would try to distance myself from my ex if I were in your shoes and I would probably be weary of my friend too...but that's just me. Link to comment
savannahohsavannah Posted February 5, 2005 Share Posted February 5, 2005 You aren't out of line at all. But it's hard to do the friendship thing when you are still feeling love and you have to sit and watch his relationship blossom with someone else. What you have described, your close knit group, sounds fun. I see why you would not want to give it up. I think you will be okay if you simply say that you won't care if he goes out with other girls. Just develop ice water in your veins when it comes to his dating life. You will know when it's time to leave, if things go awry with your group because of your bf. Link to comment
tinababe Posted February 6, 2005 Author Share Posted February 6, 2005 thanks a whole bunch....the advice i have been given is great and now i am feeling a little better about thsi whole situation....u guys are great! Link to comment
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