Friend whos depressing me.

[bourne]

I really need help before i say something ill regret.

 

it all starts when my friend was dumped by his g/f who he'd been going out for about 7mnths.

To cut a long story short, when he was dumped he started saying to me how depressed he was, then he got over it, up till 5/6 weeks ago.

That was the time i started going out with my current g/f and now hes allways saying stuff like "i need a g/f" and "your ok,your goin out wiv someone" and such.. other times it will be "come out with me... your only saing no to stay with your g/f"

What he doesnt realise is that in the 7mnths he was dating and i was single for most of it, i didnt complain once.. not even a little..

 

WHat i need help with is do i tell him that he has to accept it and to stop trying to interfere with my life or just let him moan to himself.

He is my best friend and has been for years,we do have some good times but i dont think he is actually ready to go out with anyone Emotionly, i mean, a majority of the time hes ok, perfect b/f like i am to mine but there are times he will lie to get information. (pretend to be other people via txts etc)

 

WHat can i do to stop him interfering with my life but keep him as a good friend still

[OceanEyes]

I think that as long as you're still setting aside some time just for him, that he can't really give you a hard time. He has to realize, broken heart of not, that he is not the center of the universe and that you have a life of your own.

 

Don't be afraid to tell him that although you value his friendship, and you feel bad that he's lonely, that he should respect the fact that you're with someone, because you would (and HAVE) done the same thing for him. He's being selfish right now because he's lonely.

 

I think, in time, he will get over how he's feeling. I agree that it's good to be there for friends in need, but to a point. When it starts interfering with your life and relationships, it's your right to let him know that you don't like how he's acting. If he keeps it up, I would either cut off contact with him for a while, or simply tell him to get a grip on his life. He'll realize that there won't be someone there to hold his hand through everything in life.

[mt_joy]

He's going to keep on whining about it, so don't dwell on this. Invite him out with you and your gf. Maybe she can bring a friend along. Be tactful and polite. But if all of your good intentions fail, just say, "Dude, I've never heard a guy whine so much." Tell him he needs to go out nad find a gf so he'll shut up.

[bourne]

At times it not the whining that bothers me, he has actuslly said that he realises how boring it must have been for me and he realises that now but he still keeps monaing about having a g/f.

When ever i do invite him out he makes me fell more depressed but we do go out all the time together aswell.

i agree with what you said i mean. he isnt the centre of everything, and at times i have chosen to spend a weekend with my girl instaed of him he says i dont spend enough time with him