Should I date this guy

[wpngrl]

I recently ended a relationship with a guy who never had time for me and constantly lied to me. He treated me really bad for a long time. He was always gone and wouldn't spend quality time w me or the kids. He'd get mad at everything and leave. He'd belittle me and my daughter. He'd constantly blow me off and lie about small things. He told me his friends and son didn't like me or want to be around me. I honestly dont even know why he kept me around because it was obvious he didn't care about me or want anything serious with me, and we went even sleeping together. But I was so comfortable with him after 6 years i think it became normal for me, and I got use to it. I forgot what it was like to be with someone who wanted to see me and be with me and made me a priority and was kind and caring. So I now have recently met this other guy. He's everything my x was not. He wants to see me everyday. He wants what i want. Hes sweet and kind and we have a lot of fun together. He makes me feel important and cared for, which is something I haven't felt in a long time. I miss having someone around to talk to and hang out with and we have a lot in common. BUT....here's the kicker. He just got out of prison a year ago for drinking and driving and is a recovering alcohaulic on parole. He's trying to get His life on track and is working full time and going to meetings. I'm not sure if I should peruse a relationship with him because of his past, though I hate judging people. Or should I just meet someone entirely new who is in a better place in there life? I'm trying to take In acct this guy will be around my kids to.

[Helpexpressme]

It's a toughie. On one hand he's sweet, kind, attentive and seems like a nice guy. But what's he like when he's had a few drinks? What's he like when he's drunk.

 

You will have to see how it pans out the more you date him. But if your really worried about your little ones, then maybe find someone entirely new.

 

I'm not sure, it's up to you.

[Willywagtail]

He's in recovery.

 

Take it slowly and make an assessment yourself as to whether he genuinely wants to change.

[mhowe]

He just got out of prison a year ago for drinking and driving and is a recovering alcohaulic on parole.

 

AA usually asks its members to refrain from a relationship until they have completed a year of sobriety.

[ThatwasThen]

Surely, you do not want to subject your daughter to yet another poor choice as a life partner? Find someone who doesn't have to be in any kind of recovery. That way, nor will you and your daughter have to recover emotionally from the abuse.

I hope that when the last guy belittled your daughter that that is what gave you the intestinal fortitude to get yourselves away from the last one?

[jesus83]

You're setting yourself up for a different type of disaster.

 

Does he work, BTW?

[j.man]

I really don't want to sound condescending but... think!!!

 

You have a daughter. Guy could be 100% reformed and rehabilitated and the greatest man the world has ever known, but a responsible mother doesn't play a loaded game of Russian Roulette like this.

 

Let someone else with much less to risk take a gamble on this guy.

[SoulTaker]

I recently ended a relationship with a guy who never had time for me and constantly lied to me. But I was so comfortable with him after 6 years i think it became normal for me, and I got use to it. I forgot what it was like to be with someone who wanted to see me and be with me and made me a priority and was kind and caring.

 

You were only comfortable having a man with you, so that it gave the fake look of a regular family, or for "needy" reasons. That's no excuse to be with an abusive person. It's good that you came to your senses and left.

 

So I now have recently met this other guy. He's everything my x was not. He wants to see me everyday. He wants what i want. Hes sweet and kind and we have a lot of fun together. He makes me feel important and cared for, which is something I haven't felt in a long time. I miss having someone around to talk to and hang out with and we have a lot in common. BUT....here's the kicker. He just got out of prison a year ago for drinking and driving and is a recovering alcohaulic on parole.

 

There are two problems with your line of thinking. First, you shouldn't become enamored over someone because he's the opposite of the "ex". That's a bad way of dating. You come up with a set of standards that a future man has to meet, then take it from there.

 

Second, as someone who has recently got out of prison, the worst thing he can do is quickly become attached to you (see you everyday). He has to take it slow, and earn your trust, and respect. The fact that he's rushing things, is the biggest red flag out there for someone who has a child.

 

Also, the statement "miss having someone around" implies what I stated earlier, that you need to have a man around. I agree with the others that this isn't a good match.