Help fast!! Should I call his wife and tell about affair??

[annie24]

Smity - Why don't you start a poll and ask all the married women on this website if they would want to know?

 

I'm not married, so I can't give you a lot of insight. What I do know is that if I had a boyfriend, and he went on vacation and had one drunken night and hooked up with some girl, but felt really really really bad about it afterward, I wouldn't want to know about it.

 

But, if it were something that was going on for a while.... I think I'd wanna know about it.

[DN]

you could also include the married men, the same thing would apply

[Smity22]

Ok, yes I guess I do need to fix my radar but its not that easy to know when he was in Iraq for a year... I mean I talked to him a lot during the day, sometimes over 5 hours on the internet while he was at work, and he would also call me from his cell phone at night, so its not like he refused to talk to me, and he would come see me once a month... I guess I should have known, but I didn't. Of course hind sight is 20/20...

[peanut15]

If you want to tell her then just send an anonymous letter without telling her who you are or offering any information but this one simple sentence..."your husband is having an affair"...don't sign it, nothing just put it in an envelope and mail it.

 

If you offer her anything that you are the other woman, it will just completely destroy her and it will have an affect on their son. The other woman in my case, left too much trails and I found her. Yes, it was my husband's fault and his doing but it was also hers. She posted false comments about my husband and myself, made terrible references about my kids and posted personal information on the internet so that my family would be harassed, spammed, junk mail. She was also trying to get my husband fired from his job. SHE is a total nut and needs professional help....I feel sorry for her son and her husband.

[DN]

sorry peanut for what you went through but I cannot agree about an anonymous letter. Too easily denied, no proof and the writer would be dismissed as crazy or a jealous workmate.

Plus, there is something fundamentally wrong about sending anonymous letters. Don't mean to offend, peanut.

[DN]

she didn't happen to live in a shoe did she?

[cleverme123]

She won't believe you, in military circumstances it happens all the time, if you tell her you can put yourself in a great deal of danger. And she more than likely knows already that he is with other people.

 

You need to stay away from him love or not he is married and if you continue the relationshipyou are very wrong. He will never be totally with you nor will you be able to marry him. Sure he may talk the song and dance but in the end he won't leave his wife. A good excuse is I would but we have a kid together....

 

Now I don't recommend getting into a situation like this but if you really want to kick him where it counts, go to his commander and tell him the situation, he can get in far worse trouble with the military for doing what he is doing that way you are out of it and they can help him and his wife.

[DN]

make sure that if you do get revenge in any way, by getting him into trouble for instance, that sometime down the road your conscience won't kick in and you will regret what you did.

[sepiaswirl]

the wife has a right to know, no doubt. but is it your place to tell her? even if you are the "other woman?"

 

do you think it's right to tell the person who was cheated on simply cuz you know?

 

part of me says it's not your place, even if you were the "other woman." another part says you have a moral obligation to tell. this is tough.

[PrincessLinzay]

I think if you had known this whole time that he was married, and then only wanted to tell her because he broke it off, that would be wrong. However, circumstances being that he lied to you this whole time about even being married. I would probably let her know.

 

I would feel obligated because I wouldn't want him to be able to do this to other women over and over.

 

Situation being what it is, I would rather the wife know and have the opportunity to decide for herself. I wouldn't want my husband setting this awful example of cheating for my son.

 

That's just my thoughts.