My shyness is ruining EVERYTHING!!

[Neene]

OK heres the weird thing. i'm not really shy. Like at school I'm pretty outgoing and fun. sometimes I'm a tad introverted (I've been like that since I was a child but as I grew older I grew out of it more). But when I like someone romantically it seems to all fall apart. I feel this tightening in my chest and I cant seem to talk like I normally would. When we get intimate it gets worse, I cant communicate at all, I cant even say "I love you"!!! Then things get worse, I start worrying about every little thing and what they think about me which i know is completely silly! I know I need to calm down and try being myslef but the fact of the matter is I cant! when I rea;l;ly like someone I'm so scared of losing them I get cought up in worrying and DO lose them. If I think they thought I was boring, that ends up being the case. Things like that. Like with friends and even new people I'm not too bad but this is screwing over my love life! i just read my ex's journal and one line said "My last girlfriend was TOO boring....blah blah blah" and it really hurt. When i'm being me i'm not boring at all!!but i CANT be me!HELP!

[SkyFire]

but i CANT be me!HELP!

 

 

Hmm.. Why cant you be "you"?

 

Maybe it is because you are not as confident as you think you are, no offense?

[Caldus]

Check this thread out. Maybe it will help you:

 

link removed

[DN]

Was this journal private? Better not to read what exes write about you, it is often detrimental to your self esteem.

 

If it was not private then the guy is a jerk for writing it.

[Neene]

but i CANT be me!HELP!

 

 

Hmm.. Why cant you be "you"?

 

Maybe it is because you are not as confident as you think you are, no offense?

 

Maybe...i'm not sure. I am really confiedent with friends and stuff...but in romantic relationships it seems to leave

[SpoOnDiDdlY]

I cant communicate at all, I cant even say "I love you"

 

You don't HAVE to say I love you... if you can't say it, chances are you don't.

I understand where you're coming from with the "I can't be me"... I've got the same problem. When I'm talking with the guy I like, I end up not talking and being boring because I'm so self-conscious around him right now. It's really hard, especially when you know the problem but don't know how to fix it. It really helps to constantly remind yourself, "There's no reason why he wouldn't like me" and just be yourself that way.

[Neene]

Was this journal private? Better not to read what exes write about you, it is often detrimental to your self esteem.

 

If it was not private then the guy is a jerk for writing it.

 

No it wasnt private, I noticed he updated his profile so I checked it out and where it says "my personal website" i found his journal...and the strange thing is...when we went on our "break" or so he called it he told me he still wanted to date me n stuff but not until spring for certain reasons so I said ok w.e if you wanan jsut b friends thats cool. but he was like "no no no" i stil lwnana date you. then i read his profile and find out he has a new gf. wtf?

[Neene]

I cant communicate at all, I cant even say "I love you"

 

You don't HAVE to say I love you... if you can't say it, chances are you don't.

I understand where you're coming from with the "I can't be me"... I've got the same problem. When I'm talking with the guy I like, I end up not talking and being boring because I'm so self-conscious around him right now. It's really hard, especially when you know the problem but don't know how to fix it. It really helps to constantly remind yourself, "There's no reason why he wouldn't like me" and just be yourself that way.

 

I try that and sometimes it works...but sometimes i just forget again

[Neene]

Check this thread out. Maybe it will help you:

 

link removed

 

See thats the thing..I'm not scare dof asking popel out at all. Its once I'm WITH them I have the problem.