I am still hurt

[Jeje201504]

I just broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months. We have known each other since 2002 at the University back home. We met again after 10 years in Canada and decided to be together since he was always asking me out back home. One day, he left his facebook open and I discovered that he was cheating on me with multiple women. I confronted him about it and got mad at me for checking his facebook account. After that, he asked for forgiveness and I decided to give him a second chance thinking he would change. He was sick and I was taking care of him at home(we didnt live together), I found he was texting this other woman. I confronted him and he said she s just a friend that he met at a bus stop. I didnt believe him. Then, I told his cousins about it and they blamed him. The next day he came to my place asking for sex , I refused. He borrowed $100 one week earlier, and I asked him about it to do my hair, then he got mad saying I shouldnt have asked him about the money. I was so upset and realized that relationship is not good for me at all because first off I was the one doing almost everything for him whenever he needs me, Im there for him. I resented him because I feel like he used me. When I broke up with him, he gave the same woman he was texting my number to call me. When she called me , I told her about him. Apparently, he told the woman that we were just best friends, and that I wanted more than friendship, that s why Im so mad right now because he had told me about her. He asked me to get back together, I refused. I went to his place to get closure( I know it wa s a big mistake), he raped me because he knows I wouldnt report him to the police since I was the one who went to his place. Now today, he sent me a text message saying that he will invite me to his wedding soon. I am little bothered by this and I don't know what to do to move on. he hurt me so badly but I don't like it because he seems to be happy with someone else despite what he has done to me. Was I wrong to break up with him? Please, I need some reassurance and validation in my decision. Thanks a lot for reading my post.

[nuttybuddy]

WHAT?! He raped you??! Going to his place voluntarily does not mean he can rape you. Rape is a serious crime. If you did not want to have sex and he forced himself on you, THAT is rape. You need to report that to the police.

 

I don't even understand why you are confused on whether you did anything wrong. The only RIGHT thing you did was breaking up with him. He owes you money. He also had the woman he was cheating on you with, to call you to verify that he was indeed a cheater. What kind of a nonsense game is he playing?!

 

You need to move on, but you need to report that rape if it was not a mutual consent act.

[Willywagtail]

Sorry? I don't quite get this. He raped you? You need to report him.

 

Why would you EVEN ask if it's the right thing to break up with him? Good grief, the guy is a liar, a cheater, a user and a rapist.

[greta96]

. He asked me to get back together, I refused. I went to his place to get closure( I know it wa s a big mistake), he raped me because he knows I wouldnt report him to the police since I was the one who went to his place. Now today, he sent me a text message saying that he will invite me to his wedding soon. I am little bothered by this and I don't know what to do to move on. he hurt me so badly but I don't like it because he seems to be happy with someone else despite what he has done to me. Was I wrong to break up with him? Please, I need some reassurance and validation in my decision. Thanks a lot for reading my post.

 

So he rapes you, but what you're a little bothered by is not the rape, or the $hitty way he's treated you for that matter, it is the fact that he told you he would invite you to his wedding? Seriously, this is the most minor offence he did, compared to everything else!

If he raped you, report him. I realize you don't want to because you want him back, but it's not right to keep silent, and let him get away with it!

I can't even wrap my head around the idea that you still want him back, he used you from day one and until the very end, he mooched off you, he cheated on you and he treated you very poorly. What's to want back? What's to regret? Of course you were not wrong to break up with him, even though it is clear from your post that the only reason you did break up was because you had no other choice, since he was already with someone else.

Had you initiated the breakup because you realized he was scum and that you could do much better than him, you would have know the breakup was the best thing that could have happened to you, and wouldn't have doubted it.

 

If you want to avoid getting involved with such a jerk again, you need to understand that you played your own part in what happened, by allowing him to treat you so poorly. You should have left after you saw the proof that he was cheating on you with multiple women the first time around. When you decided to forgive him and stay, you automatically gave him the green light to continue treating you poorly, which is what he did. You let him use you, you let him walk all over you...so you need to assume responsibility for your part in all this. Unless you stop doing what you did with this dude, you will be in this same situation again and again, and you may even be drawn back into this unhealthy relationship with this guy, and your life will not improve one bit.

 

I think you need to stay single for a long time, work on yourself and your self esteem, rebuild your confidence, so that this type of situation doesn't happen again.

[IAmFCA]

Have pity for the woman he is marrying (if that's even true) and be grateful it isn't you.

 

Stay away from all signs of him, all contact, everything related to him is a No Go Zone for you.

[Jeje201504]

Thank you so much. You have no idea how much you help me. You told me exactly what I needed to hear.

[IAmFCA]

Thank you so much. You have no idea how much you help me. You told me exactly what I needed to hear.

 

Keep posting. We are here to.help each other if we can.