Welcome to the lonely hearts club.

[Jackyboy]

Hello! Ok, so I have an issue (clearly).

 

Let me start off by saying two things;

 

1. I am 16 years old. The girl in question is 18. No judgments, just advice please.

 

2. I'm classified as a 'hopeless romantic', which if you don't know what that means is that my entire world view, revolves around the idea and the prospect of love. Means that basically, I love the hardest, and I fall the hardest. Though I do consider myself to be pretty smart, and help a lot of my own friends (and my uncle, for some reason) though their own relationship issues. So I'm handling it pretty well. No suicidal thoughts or self harm, which so many teenagers are unfortunately so drawn to.

 

Anyway, with that out of the way, here it goes:

 

So, about three months ago, I got an opportunity to direct a play at my school, written by one of the upperclassmen. I met the writer and she became my unofficial co-director. After working together for a month or two, we really started to get close, finding that we had an almost creep amount of things in common.

For example, both of us love Charlie Chaplin, particularly his talking pictures. We love a lot of the same book, movies, etc... We even find that we are watching the same movie at the same time, or eating the same meal, without either of us knowing.

 

I've had around four girlfriends by the time I met her, and I was the one who ended nearly every one of them. I always had this weird feeling with all of them, where I was attracted to them, but something was always missing. Something that was always nagging at me and pulling me away from them, but I could never find out what it was. Well, at least, not until I met the writer.

 

So, I might get a lot of crap from a lot of people about this, because certain people believe that they can explain love, and that it isn't possible for someone my age to be in love. I, personally, believe that you will fall in love with many people in your lifetime, and that people my age, are subject to some of the most passionate, and sometimes uncontrollable types of love.

 

I firmly believe that The Writer is the first girl I have ever loved.

 

I'm also apparently attracted to crazy.

 

The Writer has a very minor anxiety disorder, and she sometimes is prone to...well, for lack of a better description,...act really weird. She gets distant and somewhat unresponsive, as well as a little passive aggressive and hostile.

 

Now, this is fine by me. I mean, it's not *great* but, its something I can live with. But here is were the issues start.

 

When I first met The Writer, she had a boyfriend. He was her age and they had been together for roughly six month (little more than that I think). She admitted that she wasn't doing well with him (Though...sometimes I wonder if they were really doing that bad.) and she told me she had pretty strong feelings for me. while they were still together.

 

Ah-ha...

 

Now, I will NEVER be "That Guy". The guy that gets with a girl who is already with someone or causes a break up. But I also underestimated the power that she actually had over me. So I will say that we did swap some explicit text messages. (Don't want to get into a debate about that, teenagers do it sometimes, sometimes it ends badly. Move on please.) She did brake up with him before we kissed, but I still feel a little guilty about it. (Ok, a lot guilty.)

 

Any who, fast forward through a month and a half of bliss. She has a lot of very close guy friends. They all like her as much as I do, and most likely in the same way. I started to feel a little disappointed by her lack of opening up to me. She was very open with her philosophy and sexuality, but still wouldn't tell me what was bugging her and causing her anxiety.

 

So, a couple of things happened that give me cause to doubt her faithfulness. Nothing major, no proof, and plenty of things that could easily be brushed off as simple misunderstandings. I decided that I need to be honest with her and ask her if something was going on and told her what ever she told me, I'd understand.

 

She said that she was faithful, then broke up with me a week later. She has still be kissing on me telling me she loves me, but I have a feeling that she wants to, or is already seeing other people. And that's fine, it's her choice, she isn't with me anymore and I'm it's certainly not my place to tell her who she can and can't see. But I don't want to be with someone that I'm not enough for. Maybe that's selfish of me, but, where I'm at in my life right now, that's what I need.

 

So yeah. That's my melancholy tale.

 

I've never wanted so much for someone to kiss me, and leave me alone forever.

 

I don't know in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really matter, but...

 

Heh, trails of the heart I guess

 

Any advice on what to do next?

[goddess]

You sound like a wonderful and mature guy with a good head on your shoulders. This girl, to me, sounds as though she doesn't know what she wants. Plus, she is a flirt/tease which feeds her ego. I also think she enjoys the 'power' that she has over guys (you mention that she has a lot of close guy friends). I don't think that she is ready for an exclusive relationship yet. I am certain that she really likes (loves?) you but she's not ready to commit to anyone.

 

It's obvious that you harbour strong feelings for her but I think you should not count on her feeling the same way that you do. Her behaviour speaks for itself. I would continue to be her friend and give it time. She may come around. Good luck to you.

[Jackyboy]

Thank you. That was exactly the answer I think I wanted.

 

I still want to hear what others have to say before I make a decision, but thank you immensely.

 

You're the best!

 

-Jack

[pippy longstocking]

You sound like a wonderful and mature guy with a good head on your shoulders. This girl, to me, sounds as though she doesn't know what she wants. Plus, she is a flirt/tease which feeds her ego. I also think she enjoys the 'power' that she has over guys (you mention that she has a lot of close guy friends). I don't think that she is ready for an exclusive relationship yet. I am certain that she really likes (loves?) you but she's not ready to commit to anyone.

 

It's obvious that you harbour strong feelings for her but I think you should not count on her feeling the same way that you do. Her behaviour speaks for itself. I would continue to be her friend and give it time. She may come around. Good luck to you.

 

lovely post

 

 

I agree but for the bottom paragraph ...I wouldn't actually continue having her in my life in the hope she comes round , sadly she walked away from you ( her loss , cos you sound lovely) and I would not waste your lovely energy on her anymore . I see nothing ahead but trouble and heart break for you .

[Jackyboy]

Thank you too!

 

I understand that. It's harder then it looks you know?

That might be what it'll have to come to, but only time will tell wont it?

 

Cheers,

Jack

[pippy longstocking]

Thank you too!

 

I understand that. It's harder then it looks you know?

That might be what it'll have to come to, but only time will tell wont it?

 

Cheers,

Jack

 

yes it is harder than it looks and you will do what you feel is right when YOU are ready .

[Jackyboy]

Thanks again.

 

Also, nice post on things not to say in public. Found it on accident. Brilliant

[Jackyboy]

Heh, sorry to bring it up again. I'm sure you got better things to do, but, some more stuff went down. I won't rant about it here unless you ask me to, but I could still use a little help.

 

Totally fine if you don't though. I mean, technically I'm a stranger. So... Yeah