Want to open up

[ytrap]

I recently started officially dating this girl who I've known for a little over a month now. She's amazing and she makes me feel different than anyone else has ever made me feel. Lately I've just been stuck thinking about how she feels. Like I want to open up to her and tell her exactly what I'm thinking and feeling but I'm scared that would come off as too clingy or desperate. I felt like once I got to this stage it would be easier but it isn't... I also want to hear what she feels but I'm also scared of what the answer might be and I'm scared of ruining things. I just care about her really deeply and I have no idea how to show that without talking about it, it sucks keeping it internalized.

[Coldarmy13]

How often have you seen one another? Also how old are you two?

 

Id say don't open up too much at this point. Keeping things internalized is hard, I know, but I opened up too early in my relationship and it didn't go so well until I backed off of it a good bit.

 

As long as both of you are getting along great and getting to know each other then it should be gravy. Its only been a month so do your best to go with the flow.

[ytrap]

We've been together 7 or 8 times now probably every couple days, and 18. It is like its the worst feeling. But yea things seems to be going well, the only reason I made this post was because I was overthinking something or maybe I wasn't overthinking it? Idk.

[ytrap]

How often have you seen one another? Also how old are you two?

 

Id say don't open up too much at this point. Keeping things internalized is hard, I know, but I opened up too early in my relationship and it didn't go so well until I backed off of it a good bit.

 

As long as both of you are getting along great and getting to know each other then it should be gravy. Its only been a month so do your best to go with the flow.

 

We've been together 7 or 8 times now probably every couple days, and 18. It is like its the worst feeling. But yea things seems to be going well, the only reason I made this post was because I was overthinking something or maybe I wasn't overthinking it? Idk.

[Coldarmy13]

I was worse, but I am still an over thinker. Its common. Over thinking things will drive you crazy and will give you anxiety that could mess things up this early.

 

I am 3 months into my relationship. She was going through some things for almost 3 weeks that I didn't know about, so she came off cold and disinterested, resulting in me driving myself nuts and over thinking the what ifs and the why nots. She eventually called me on it letting me know I was being overbearing in general and she didn't know if we wanted the same things. I was being too serious always drilling to find out "whats wrong?". She was stressed and I was only adding to it. Point of the story, I still worry sometimes and all of that, but I backed off some and her behavior has changed a little for the better.

 

7-8 dates is a good amount for the first month. My advice is to take it as slow as you can, I wish I had done the same the whole time. If anything else, just match her pace.

[ytrap]

Yea it's such a hard thing to deal with. I also think I'm comparing me and her to other people which is probably a bad idea also. I guess I just expect things to go a certain way and if they don't I immediately take it as a bad sign if that makes sense. Also what do you mean specifically when you say take it slow?

[Coldarmy13]

Yea it's such a hard thing to deal with. I also think I'm comparing me and her to other people which is probably a bad idea also. I guess I just expect things to go a certain way and if they don't I immediately take it as a bad sign if that makes sense. Also what do you mean specifically when you say take it slow?

 

I just meant don't try to force anything because of worries or anxiety. Could backfire, a month is still a very new relationship.

 

I agree don't compare you or her with other people.

[kamurj]

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