Please help me I need advice

[MiseryIsSoBeautiful]

Okay so I'm 21 and I've been dating this guy for almost 5 months now, but we're still not officially Boyfriend and Girlfriend. We've both been hurt really bad in past relationships so we wanted to take things slow. Well I like him a lot and after 2 months I was ready to be his Girlfriend. But whenever I mention it he says he just needs more time to be where he needs to be before he can make that commitment to be my Boyfriend and give me the amount of time and attention he wants to give me and that I deserve (we live 100 miles apart). So he told me if I needed to date other people he was behind me all the way and that he thought that I should make sure I only wanted to be with him so that once we become boyfriend and girlfriend there wouldn't be any doubts. I trust him a lot so I really don't think I have to worry about him having another girl. But he left for work in Florida 3 weeks ago and I met someone and now I kinda have feelings for this other guy... They both know about each other and tell me I should date both so that I can make an educated decision. Boy #1 says that he's willing to sacrafice his feelings to ensure my happinesss and boy #2 says he just really wants to have a chance with me. It's just hard cause the things I like about them are totally different. Like I like 2 basic kinds of guys and each of them represents one of those guys. Boy #1 is pretty boy over achiever work aholic non partier and boy #2 is X games loven motocross'n hard core party till we pass out boys just wanna have fun skater kind (which is a lot like I am). Both have good jobs and are super sweet. But it's like what do i do? Do I really date both at once? I'm scared of hurting someone wether it be one of them or myself. What do I do.

[Mr. B]

...whoever is in reasonable driving distance gets my vote.

[Jimbo10]

...whoever is in reasonable driving distance gets my vote.

 

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrr, I maybe that could work, but I wouldn't let one just leave your life because he happens to live farther away

 

I think you need to follow your heart, and ask yourself a few questions.

 

Who's really there in the end? The calm, homebody, or the skater boy? Who's really faithful, the one who just wants a shot, or the one who would give up his heart to make you happy. To tell you the truth, from what you said, I PERSONALLY would go with number 1, but i beg you not to listen to what I think, you don't even know me, so that's just my first impression

 

I think you need to stop jugling these two back and forth. Take a day or two off, and think about this with some R&R. This is a pretty darn serious desicion you need to make missy, and i know you'll follow your heart, and make the decision that works with you and your life the very best, remembering long, and short term.

 

Good luck

[annie24]

Ok, I'm going to have to disagree with Jimbo on this one. I don't like the sound of guy #1. He's told you "he's not ready" to be your boyfriend. 5 months is a pretty reasonable amount of time to figure out if you want to be someone's bf or gf. It's not like you two are getting engaged!!! From what you wrote, it sounds like you like #1 more than he likes you. Which is why he is so "gracious" about letting you date other men.

 

My vote is for #2 (winner by default). But, don't be afraid to meet other guys too!

 

Good luck in your decision!

[ShySoul]

Listen to your heart. Do you like guy #1 enough to wait until he's ready? Or are you willing to see someone else in the meantime? You need to do what is best for you. Do you think that the relationship with guy #1 is going anywhere or are you guestioning it after 5 months? Do you really feel comfortable dating two people at once? How well do you know guy #2? Sorry for asking more questions then giving answers, but you really need to think about what it is you want. Then go for it.

 

Personally, I think guy #1 is the better choice as he is the kind of guy you could settle down with and have a long serious relationship. Problem is, he seems to be afraid of making a commitment. If your heart is really into making it work with him, have a nice heartfelt discussion about how each other feels and try to work something out. But keep in mind that it isn't fair to make you wait for ever. If you don't think that it's something you can deal with, you may want to choose guy #2.

 

Interesting that you like two totally opposite kinds of guys. Have you considered that maybe who you really want is someone in the middle?

[Caldus]

Date them for a while longer and report back here with the results. Eventually you will know who to be with. It all comes down to who you want to be with, not who everyone wants you to be with.