Feel completly lost............

[anxietygem]

Last year was the worst year of my 30 years of life I nearly lost my Dad to cancer and it sent me into a downward spiral of depession and severe anxiety. I went off work for 5 months and retrurned at the beginning of this year in this time I also lost my nana which broke my heart, emotionally its been a horrible time but I am trying my best to find my feet again.

 

I'm back at zumba which I love ive lost the stone and a half I put on last year through comfort eating and im enjoying my own time again doing all the things I used to enjoy. But im still facing a daily battle of anxiety and depression and I know im not 100% yet but my aim is to get there. I'm currently on a waiting list to go back to cbt I continue with my medication and im reading self help books. But a major factor that is not helping is I recently started dating someone and they walked away from me which left me feel rejected and questioning myself on top of that ive lost 3 of my very close friends through different circumstances ive reached out to them to sort things out but I just get ignored. One of my friends im supposed to be bridesmaid for in the Dominican in 5 weeks time which I have also paid £2000 for.

 

Basically I just feel lost and I feel like im loosing everyone at the minute, I just want to be happy again and to sort my life out but all I feel is a strong sense of rejection from alot of people right now and I dont want to be left alone......

[1a1a]

Keep going with the self care, that's Really important. When you feel ready to, make tentative steps to increase you real life social network, the aim is not necessarily to make new friends or meet another partner (although hopefully in time both of those will happen), but to be out of the house and continuing to life, and to connect with people.

 

I recommend you take on a challenge to try 3 new things that will bring you into contact with people over the next 3 months. And do each of those new things at least 3 times before letting it go if it turns out to not be as enjoyable as you thought it would be.

 

I am sorry for your losses, you will get back up to a level of contentment, I am sure of it. Jedi hugs if you want them.

[anxietygem]

Thank you for your reply. I go to Zumba 3 times a week which gets me out and about socialising but I cant really think of much more.

 

Good news is ive got my first appointment through for cbt in two weeks.

[1a1a]

That Is good news

 

Things that I'd try if I had the cash hip hop dancing, art classes, cert III in electronics. Further activities that wouldn't require $$$ fire twirling and walking groups from meet up. Other things you could try, cooking classes, reading group, volunteer at the theatre. A million other things I can't think of now but brainstorm everything you might like to try and go ahead and try it.

 

Today I heard back from a sound tech who gave me 5 days of work filling in for him, because it turns out the sub isn't working. That's a thing that broke on my watch. If there was any chance of me getting repeat employment it's probably just dwindled significantly. I was gutted and upset and feel like all the "no you are not going to be a person who gets regular employment" messages are just piling up on top of each other and I went and spent $40 on Indian take away because I love curry and am realising I need to prioritise self care to stay sane. Sure enough, after eating, I do feel a bit less desolate.