Questioning direction in life.

[ATLstudent]

When comfronted with issues I may be having turmoil over what to do with my life...I often wish it would just go away......or I seek others to tell me it's going to be ok....but at the end of the day it's my responsibility and my stuff to figure out. I've been in one of those moments lately.

Although I've been working on artwork and music for the past few months intent on earning a living doing it .....I have come accross some serious doubts about what I am doing.

I'm not sure I always feel like I am using myself to the greatest degree......like maybe I could be doing something more meaningful. I enjoy making artwork....and hopefully always will, but dedicated my whole life to it which it seems like it can take to be a professional hasn't been sitting quite right with me.

I can't always see the value in forcing my artwork into the market just so I can earn money from it ( this could be stemming from me not making good work or meaningful work...two things I wouldn't say I'm doing but it's possible I'm just missing something in my subjects or work).

I mean yah I like making art...but if it's a daily grind I feel like it starts to suck some of passion and enjoyment out of it. But on the other side if I'm working all day doing something else that's a lot of time I will have to sacrifice to not making art. I guess the key is to find something you enjoy doing , even if it's outside of one particular passion, helping people could be a passion to ...is a passion.

A clue toward this may be what's gotten me here in the first place which is a need to have a higher purpose or calling. Not just to get by and exist but to positively impact the world in the best and most effective way and scale that I can do.

I feel like life is short and I will most likely die down the road (unless they cure that too)....so the weight of this temporary existence has placed a lot of importance in my head.....and that I need to use myself the best I can in this life.

I have an interest in science and medicine but I'm not even a college grad,...but I just see these things as helping out humans the most so I'm intersted......I dunno maybe helping people on any level could be a good job fit.

I also haven't ruled out the possibility of just doing volunteer work...where I could help people but also continue to work in art and or music. With my interst in science And technology I could always read and learn things in my own.....could be something really cool to incorporate into my artwork......sort of marry these two ideas together.....helping people/making best of use of myself ..and artwork . That could be good.

Music is something that I really love and am passionate about too. The bands I like Undoubtedly impact my life...especially the ones with powerful messages that do try to inspire others. So I will continue to play music as well. Not sure at what level.

 

Thanks for letting my think out loud here/vent ...this was sort of off the cuff venting and I kind of figured some bits out of this dilemma as I went. still have a lot of stuff to sort out but I feel better.

 

I think if I am able to make artwork I really believe in...maybe on the topic of helping others, on science of tech...or something else I really believed in maybe it would work. I am kind to people and try to help out on little ways when I can but I just wonder if I am not using my brain for what it's worth...like I could be solving bigger life problems. sometimes art about issues I wonder why they don't just go help out instead of making pictures about it....almost like a photographer taking a picture of a drowning man to bring awareness to the dangers of not know how to swim....go out there and save him yourself. But I guess art in the vein of inspiration .....positively can be good, like music that inspires or movies.....I guess art can do this to,....but I've always felt music and movies can really impact a viewer on such a powerful emotional level. Can art do this......I'm sometimes not so effected by art.....I have a nice drawing skill and have learned painting but sometimes I'm not sure why I got into it......I think it was to use the talent originally ....I had stopped drawing for a bit and picked it back up because I felt I was wasting the talent .......but music for instance has always been a bigger passions. I dunno.....I just need to keep living and work it out

[Harrowdown]

This is actually a pretty cool post. Everyone goes through this thought process regularly.

 

Generic advice would be to do what you love and you'll never work a day in your life but that simply doesn't apply to 90% of us. First priority is always to find a way to support yourself financial and make a living, it might not be your ideal job but it is a start. The trick is to find a job you can tolerate to pay the bills while you're pursuing your interests. With the hard work and a lot of luck you can find that dream job. Reality though is to find a job you can tolerate and preferably pays well while you do stuff that is interesting in your spare time.

[sentiententity]

I did a ton of artwork in my youth too. Keep on enjoying it! Harrowdown had good practical advice. I went to school for graphic design for a while but did not enjoy it.