Afraid that my shyness might lose me the girl of my dreams.

[bonus]

Ok this one is long. there is this girl in my school at school. And ive always thought she was perfect. Shes a sophmore im a junior. I can remember the first time i saw her. she stood out over all the incoming freshman. I thought to myself what would it be like to talk to this girl. the whole sophomore year i would just gaze at her as much as i could w/ out being seen. Im very shy. So this year i was thinking how cool it would be if she was in one of my classes somehow. BOOM there she walks in. I was going to get to spend the whole semester with the girl of my dreams in my class. To make things even more pleaseant the teacher had her seat right next to mine. The problem is its so hard to talk to her. I really like her but i get so nervous. I really stepped out of the comfort zone and made an effort to talk to this girl who i barely knew. It went from me saying hi to her to her finding me and saying wutsup. she even asked if i could get a ride home with me. I have no clue if she likes me the way i like her. prolly not right now. but like i said we only know each other as classmates. all i know is that when i talk to her she just sounds so real and genuine. not like a lot of these tramps in high school. and shes a gymnast and a very hot one at that. Shes got me trippin so bad i wrote a poem about her. I had to get my feelings out on paper. It seems like every day i dont ask her to hang with me the more i want her. Ive had so many golden oppurtunities and its when these come that i choke up and think about what most guys think about. Rejection. But why would she not just wanna hang out. Its not a formal date or anything. Im a cute junior with a red sports car (99 cougar) and i got a job and some money. Why say no. Im supposed to give her a ride home on friday and i want to just ask her if shed want to hang out with me and do something. to sum it up: Im a shy guy with the girl of my dreams about to step into my car on friday. HELP ME!!!

[cooldude1234]

ummm, you should try backing off a little, your level of infatuation seems unhealthy. Try to become friends with her first, I know you're going to say you are friends with her, but I REALLY mean it.

 

and if your car or job are reasons for her to hang out with you, she's OBVIOUSLY using you.

[GettingOverIt]

Hey bonus! Well, first of all, take a breath, man! ;-)

 

I know it is hard for us shy guys, but go with your feelings on this one... Ask her hang out with you. I mean, you are going to give her a ride home (and did I understand she asked YOU for the ride? If so, that is a very good sign). So, ask her how things are going and see if she'd like to grab a bite to eat or something...

 

If you ask her BEFORE the car ride, then you could suggest it be something you do on the way home. "Would you like to go to (wherever) on the way home Friday?" Don't freak if she says no... You have no idea what her plans are at this point, okay?

 

If she says no, then casually say something like, "Okay, maybe another time." Or something like that... I don't think I would immediately suggest another day, that is kinda desperate (in my opinion).

 

Okay, so if you wait until FRIDAY to ask her about hanging out (that is, you bring it up while she is in the car), then you can suggest something for Saturday or Sunday and see how that goes.

 

Remember, even if she says 'no' the first time, all is not lost... This is the girl of your dreams you're tlaking about here, right? So, you may have to 'work' a little... ;-)

 

All the best, let us know!

[sweetpea4670]

To me, it didn't seem like she's hanging out with him because of his car. I don't know any girl who would talk to a guy so much and ask for rides home for the sole reason of being interested in his car or job. Having said that, it's always nice to date a guy who has a job and car, because it shows responsibility and maturity. Look, this girl seems interested and if you don't make your move, she's going to get frustrated and think that you don't like her. If you're giving her a ride home and you've talked to her on a few occasions, then clearly there is somewhat of a relationship established (if not friendship). When the girl of your dreams gets in your car, ask her out! Don't make a huge deal out of it. Be confident and calm and ask her as it's a passing thought, not something you planned to do. While you're talking, ask her if she'd like to go get some coffee or dinner sometime, just very casually, because you like talking to her and you think it would be fun. I highly doubt that she would decline. Think about it, if a girl likes you enough to talk to you at school, even if wasn't crazy about you, she'd go on a date to see where it might lead. If you get to know her better and it doesn't work for either of you, that's fine, but you gotta give it a chance!

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

I hate to contradict you sweetpea, but there are women out there like that. I was a victim of one. It went a little farther than me giving her rides after a while. She one time borrowed my car and crashed it, without so much as an "I'm sorry in return". It was a real nice car too.

 

But, that doesn't mean that's what's happening here, Bonus. I think GettingOverIt has the right idea. It's a good way to see if she's really interested in you or if she's only using you. I'd lean towards that she's interested though.

 

Best advice I could offer is to calm down, take a breath... now take another breath, then ask her if she'd like to do something on the way home on Friday. Most important, be yourself, don't try to pretend to be someone you think she might like. If she doesn't like who you truly are (and it sounds like you a sweet, nice, shy guy, trust me a lot of women like guys like you) then she isn't worth your time.

 

Good Luck!

[Stinkweed]

I gotta say I agree with sweetpea, cause, well, I've no idea which high school you go to, but in mine girls don't care about how much money a guy has... I mean, plz? Seriously, I don't think girls at this age care about that... I mean, there are guys like me who don't have a car (hopefully I'll have one by the time I'm 18...), but they get girls still (well, I don't, but it's not because of that, lol ). I mean, she still has a family that can provide for her, so I think that money's not the biggest of her concerns... So, I guess that unless there's a HUGE difference in "incomes", she wouldn't pay too much attention to that. Well, it's just my opinion...

[Celadon]

I hope everything works out for you, bonus. But I have to give you this advice -- stop thinking of her like the perfect girl and the young woman of your dreams and everything. That's a sure way for you to choke and for her to start feeling like you're a stalker. She's not an object; she's a PERSON okay?

 

Please treat her like a normal person who you would like to be friends with. Be interested in her and what she has to say, and then your real self will come through. Good luck.

[GettingOverIt]

Great advice, K8tie Kool! Speaking from experience, if you always (and only) see her as your perfect girl, you will make things harder on yourself... In my case, we ended up together, but it didn't last because we spent too much time trying to live up to false expectations... Not healthy.

 

Relax, and see her for who she is...

[Celadon]

In my case, we ended up together, but it didn't last because we spent too much time trying to live up to false expectations... Not healthy.

 

I hear ya, GettingOverIt! 8)

[Ontario]

Im a cute junior with a red sports car (99 cougar) and i got a job and some money. Why say no?

 

Remember, cars, money, and looks is never everything.

I mean, look at me. I can't drive well yet, my job's in the crapper, and I'm kinda ugly.

image removed

 

And yet, I'm going out with someone, and have had a good two-month run with her by now. (No, it's no one in the picture.)

 

Listen. It sounds like you're obsessed with her. I've been there. Just ease up on the gas a bit, Speed Racer. If you take things slow, get her to be your friend and get her to trust you, chances are things will go well. But right now you're in a stage of obsession and...

 

*sigh*

 

..That's what lost me my last few opportunities. Don't make that mistake. Don't let your obsession drive you.