just observing

[broadshoulders]

i discovered that a lot of guys cant get girls. girls on the other hand have guys but cant keep them. can anybody tell me why 90% of boys cant GET a girl and why 90% of girls cant KEEP a guy. your thoughts pls i want to know what is going on in the world of attraction.

[RayKay]

I am going to guess this has more to do with your age group and social circle that the "world of attraction" as you get older you find relationships work or don't work based on a myriad of reasons and are far more complex then "getting the girl/guy and keeping them".

[Day_Walker]

I dont think you are being completely accurate when you use figures such as 90% but to answer your questions its actually quite simple. Well first of all guys can have a hard time finding a girl because of where their own doing. If you take a look at the guys that do get girls, you will see that they put themselves out there. These guys realize that with girls its a numbers game, typically these guys will talk to a significant amount of females and if they arent pursuing them at the time then they are friends with them. It seems that girls cant keep a man because you have to realize that the majority of relationships wont last, there are different reasons why they wont last but they still dont last. The generalizations that you have made seem too broad, this may seem to be true in the age bracket that you have observed but I dont believe these assumptions can be made accross the board.

[tbenson2]

Hey bro, i think it goes both ways in a way. guys can get girls and some can't keep them. that's just the dating world man. if a girl cant keep her guy, she must've done something wrong. your figures bro just dont seem that concrete.

 

tbenson2

[GettingOverIt]

TBenson2, I think you may have opened up a can of worms you just may have to eat, man... "she must've done something wrong"??? Sorry, you are on your own with that one... ;-)

 

I don't know where the 90% comes in, but if you are talking about on this site, then you have to remember that a large portion of the posters here are having some kind of relationship issue - that's why many come here... As far as girl-to-guy ratio for 'getting' and 'keeping,' well, I would bet many more women are open to the idea of posting their feelings than guys are, even anonymously... We're guys, we just don't like that kind of thing, generally speaking... So, you are probably not going to find as many 'guy cant keep girl' posts on here.... Just my 2 cents, worth about .5 cents in todays inflationary market... ;-)

[QTpie87]

personally In my situation the girls can't get the guys and then when they do the guys they can't keep either of eachother cause they rushed in or they just didn't click. but it almost seems harder for a girl to get the guy.

[ShySoul]

I'm thinking that it's societies old fashioned idea that the guy has to be the one to initiate a relationship. Guys and girls fall into the trap of thinking that they have certain set roles. The guy has to be the one who goes out and makes it happens. thereforeeee they complain that they can't GET girls. On the other hand, girls are taught that they are suppose to make the relationship work and thereforeeee complain that they can't KEEP a guy. In reality, these roles don't exist. Girls initate relationships and complain about not getting guys. Guys complain that they can't keep girls. Relationships are far more complex and you can't make such a broad generalization.

 

Here's a thought, maybe the problem lies in the very notion of getting and keeping someone. A relationship isn't something to pursue and "get." I think it should be something that happens naturally as two people get to know each other and begin to have feelings for each other. If you try to actively "get" a relationship then you will feel discouraged if things don't work out. But if you don't worry about it and just let things happen as they happen, then you won't be as frustrated or upset. Let it take you by surprise. Likewise, don't feel like you need to work on "keeping" the relationship. Focus on enjoying it, being together, and doing things that make each other feel happy. If you do these things the relationship should work out. And if it doesn't, don't view as you failing to keep a relationship. Instead, view as if the relationship just wasn't meant to be.