anonguy12 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Hello, I'm brand new here and signed up pretty much just to ask the following question: Why am I always looking for girls to flirt with? I have never had a problem getting girls. I've always had a girlfriend starting early in life. I'm currently in a long distance relationship and its going nicely, yet I have this persisting urge to flirt with random girls online. I don't want to do this anymore, and it's making me ashamed of myself. I've cheated before, but haven't technically cheated on my current girlfriend. I love her, she loves me back. Just tell me what I can do to make these urges go away. Link to comment
mhowe Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Work on building your self esteem. You want attention from random strangers...purely to make you feel better. If your.own sense of self was stronger...you wouldn't look to outside sources for validation. Link to comment
Denguin Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Hello, I'm brand new here and signed up pretty much just to ask the following question: Why am I always looking for girls to flirt with? I have never had a problem getting girls. I've always had a girlfriend starting early in life. I'm currently in a long distance relationship and its going nicely, yet I have this persisting urge to flirt with random girls online. I don't want to do this anymore, and it's making me ashamed of myself. I've cheated before, but haven't technically cheated on my current girlfriend. I love her, she loves me back. Just tell me what I can do to make these urges go away. I'm a little concerned... What exactly does haven't "technically" cheated on your current girlfriend mean? Link to comment
overthemoon86 Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 hmm i wonder the same thing...what does it mean when you technically? Link to comment
Hazyillusions Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 I'm guessing he considers actual cheating like physical stuff and flirting and talking inappropriately/sharing thoughts etc isn't cheating. Link to comment
Unreasonable Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Maybe LDR's aren't for you. They aren't for everyone. Link to comment
Betteralready Posted February 11, 2015 Share Posted February 11, 2015 Ditto mhowe: If you have urges that call you to act outside of your character, the good news is you're not a horrible person or lost cause. The bad news is something inside you is trying to self-destruct. We can't tell you what it is. You probably do have self-esteem issues. Something inside of you believes that to maintain your manliness, you must always have a number of women interested in you. You learned that somewhere in your development. You can unlearn that perception, but most people aren't able to undo mindsets without a lot of hard work and professional help. Maybe there are some online resources that can help. And don't start excusing or qualifying "cheating" to make yourself feel better. Cheating is anything you do that you would not want your gf to know about because you know it would hurt her and your relationship. For some, accepting a drink at a bar from a stranger is cheating. For others, anything less than full intercourse is not. You know what kind of relationship you're in and what is acceptable behavior. If you want to change, start with accepting accountability for your actions. Link to comment
anonguy12 Posted February 14, 2015 Author Share Posted February 14, 2015 That was really helpful. Thanks, I appreciate it a lot. Link to comment
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