Saddest thing I think I've ever heard

[csdude55]

I was talking with a friend that works at a local restaurant who told me the saddest thing I think I've ever heard.

 

She said that there's an old man that comes to the restaurant all the time, by himself. He sits at a table and orders dinner alone. Then, he sits a framed photo of his deceased wife at the seat next to him. He eats dinner while looking at her photo, and when he's done he pays and leaves.

 

I can only guess at the conversations they have in his mind.

 

Apparently, he does this a few times a week at this restaurant.

[Loriana]

I've heard similar stories before. I heard about this man who lost his wife and every Valentine's Day after her death he would buy her a Valentine's Day card to show she still had his heart even in death. it's tragic when you see couples who have been married for sixty years and then one of them passes away leaving the other incredibly lonely. It's so sad, but it's life everyone has to go at some point.

 

If I worked at the restaurant I would sit down with the man while he ate his dinner and chat to him so at least he wouldn't feel so alone.

[Jarrah]

Awww, that is so sweet but heartbreaking

 

For a number of years I would see a frail, old man at the bus stop opposite the cemetery when I would go to pick my kids up from school. Every now and then, I wouldn't see him for a week or so and I wondered if he'd passed away but then he would return. It seemed to always happen in the cold months so I imagined he wasn't well.

 

Then it happened, he was never there again

[Tanzi]

I've heard similar stories before. I heard about this man who lost his wife and every Valentine's Day after her death he would buy her a Valentine's Day card to show she still had his heart even in death. it's tragic when you see couples who have been married for sixty years and then one of them passes away leaving the other incredibly lonely. It's so sad, but it's life everyone has to go at some point.

 

If I worked at the restaurant I would sit down with the man while he ate his dinner and chat to him so at least he wouldn't feel so alone.

 

I would assume that he wanted to be left alone though. In his mind he is having dinner with his wife and wouldn't want a stranger joining them. If I worked at the restaurant and he was a regular, I would chat to him in a way I would other regulars but I wouldn't invade his privacy or his thoughts. After all it is his choice to go alone ... maybe it is one of the few times he actually gets to spend time alone in a place that was once special to them both.

 

It is an incredibly romantic story though but whilst it may seem sad to us, it may be his time NOT to feel sad.

[browneyedgirl36]

I guess I'm an oddball because I don't find this sad at all -- I mean, it's sad his wife died, but...I think his actions are a testament to the love they shared, which I think is wonderful.

 

Don't be entirely sure that he feels alone and sad; he made be sad that she's gone, but the fact that he has dinner "with" her a few times a week may just be his way of keeping her memory alive. It may make him feel good. I think a lot of people have rituals they do related to deceased loved ones. His is just a more public one, while a lot of people probably do them in the privacy of their own homes. Him doing it publicly, too, suggests that he realizes that he can't just stay confined to his house -- that he needs to get out into the world, breath some fresh air, eat some good food, and carry on, which his wife would probably want him to do.

 

Anyway, it's all speculation, but if I were the restaurant staff, I'd chat a bit, like with the other customers, and leave him to his dinner.

[HeWhoIs]

It's hard to say. He may be sad, and he may not be.

 

It may be a way of him forcing his sadness to the surface. Some people do this, and it helps them (it actually helps me to force my grief to the surface sometimes).

 

It may simply be a way of him reliving his life with his wife.

 

Having lost a daughter and from talking to a friend who lost his son, both of us like to hear good things about the kids we lost, and like the chance to talk about our lost kids.

 

If I worked in the restaurant or was a regular, I would make a comment such as, "She looks nice. Was she your wife?"

 

"Yes."

 

"Do you want to tell me about her?"

 

If he says yes, listen, and engage him about her now and then in the future.

 

If he balks, don't ask again.