ojk85 Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Hey guys, its been about 3 months or so post break up, I still feel the pain - specially with valentines coming up. I have kept the NC, but I have peeked at her instagram a few times and it did me no good... I am here to share some of the changes I have been noticing about myself. There's just something about this break up that's different, its painful of course but I think I'm handling it pretty well compared to the others. I've been doing things that's sort of out of character, like going out, getting drunk, hooking up with girls, etc. but I think I'm not really going overboard about it, until last night. Was at a club with friends and I was with this girl the whole night, an acquaintance, we were all over each other, the type that if you'd pass by you'd definitely tell us to get a room, the bad part is, I know she has a boyfriend, and worse, I didn't care at all. And what's ironic is, my ex was probably doing what she's doing some months ago. I have always prided myself as being monogamous, I have only been with girls that I dated, wasn't really the type to have one night stands, etc. Sort of confused right now if I'm unconsciously doing these things to cope, am I just finally letting myself out there to experience women, or am I looking for retribution towards any female I encounter. I'm not saying I want to be a player, I used to look down on my friends who always cheat and play around, but now I sort of see where they're coming from. It is definitely out of character but I like it, like having to enjoy myself, meet new people, different women, different experiences but I know I have to be responsible about it. Just looking for input if you have experienced these things, thanks for reading! Link to comment
Denguin Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Nothing to say except for: damn, looks like we'll be consoling someone else on this forum soon. Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Its logical. Sometimes, we indulge ourselves because we have no long term goals, are living completely in the moment, and whatever we do doesn't seem to matter anyway. Then, after a while, we return to a more productive stance, begin thinking about or noticing the impact of our actions and recover a sense of ourselves. Indulging our superficial selves becomes less satisfactory because we have proven to ourselves how cheap it is. Goals more thoughtfully won begin to attract us. For now, you are eating chocolate bars instead of protein shakes. It is self-destructive, and it will pass. Link to comment
HeartGoesOn Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 It's your call, but I'm not sure how this type of lifestyle is helping you to cope? Either way, be careful what you wish for... Link to comment
Heavy Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 It's called emotion detachment, I'm the same not a care in the world about my actions whom they hurt and the long term effect. You are loooking at life in a different way to how you would normally. It will pass same as it will for me but I have not got to the stage of sleeping with aybody else nor had any one night stands. Link to comment
ojk85 Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 Thanks for the feedbacks guys. This is sort of new to me, during my past break ups I would just shut myself in my room and be miserable, but this time I was actually able to put myself out there. Luckily, we didn't go further than kissing, it was rather awkward when she said she can't go home with me because her bf is waiting. Link to comment
weathergirl Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 We all do what we need to too...just be sure you are not misleading these women you meet and hook up with...cause THAT would not be cool... Link to comment
Heavy Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Thanks for the feedbacks guys. This is sort of new to me, during my past break ups I would just shut myself in my room and be miserable, but this time I was actually able to put myself out there. Luckily, we didn't go further than kissing, it was rather awkward when she said she can't go home with me because her bf is waiting. How you also noticed that you don't put up with any crap??? PM me if you want I can explain further.... Link to comment
ojk85 Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 We all do what we need to too...just be sure you are not misleading these women you meet and hook up with...cause THAT would not be cool... Oh man, I try.. This one girl I totally told her from the start, like I'm going through a break up and just wanna be friends, she's cool about it but seems like she's getting attached. Link to comment
ojk85 Posted February 9, 2015 Author Share Posted February 9, 2015 How you also noticed that you don't put up with any crap??? PM me if you want I can explain further.... I know right? Like I'm not saying I'm all numb and stuff, like I guess I am a lil emotionally detached. But like I use my head now. Haha. Less feelings. Its practical. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 9, 2015 Share Posted February 9, 2015 Oh man, I try.. This one girl I totally told her from the start, like I'm going through a break up and just wanna be friends, she's cool about it but seems like she's getting attached. She's getting attached because she's hoping you'll like her enough to come around. Link to comment
Brokenhart84 Posted February 18, 2015 Share Posted February 18, 2015 Just be honest with your intentions. It's never ok to use other people. It will hurt you in the long run. Link to comment
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