21 days NC - still struggling

[Gemini528]

It's been 21 days now since I woke up at 6am to get ready for work and all his stuff was gone. 21 days since I last saw him, talked to him, texted him. Must say its actually getting harder as time goes by. Yes, I know it is for the best. We are incompatible, at different points in life, very different personalities, too much bad history....but it's still tough not to hear from him, not to know how he's doing, not to have him in my life in general. I know this too shall pass and in a few months it won't matter but the present sadness and lonliness sucks

[Denguin]

I know what you mean. Trust me, I think a lot of us do on this forum.

 

I woke up this morning and cried for about 30 minutes, and I'm about a 1.5 months into a break-up (1 month no contact). I've talked to many people, and I've read many times on this forum that it WILL get better with time. Just keep trying to push through it. Eventually, we'll both get to the other side.

[oneK]

It does suck but yes, this too shall pass.

 

In the meantime, fill that loneliness with being your own best friend. Spoil yourself - retail therapy, take a trip, walk at the ocean...whatever your thing is, do it and do it often.

[kathy679]

Its only been 21 days, very early days for you at the moment. It will get harder before it gets better, but every time it hurts, run with that feeling, its natural, and its your body's way of working through the pain so that you can start to heal.

 

be patient, this will take time, but you will get there.

[kathy679]

Its been a year since i went nc with my ex and for months it hurt like hell, but gradually the pain went and my yearning to see him again did pass..... It will for you too but u need to be patient and nc is the best thing for YOU. Because you are now putting your needs first

[Gemini528]

Thanks everyone! I know it's still early on and I know i have a good ways to go before I feel fully "healed" I just tend to get frustrated with myself for feeling this way. I KNOW it's best...I KNOW he is not the right person for me...I KNOW I just need to give it time....so then why the heck is it so hard? I compare this to diet and exercise...you know you're not suppose to eat the burgers and pizza and cake cause it's bad for you but you want it anyway lol I guess this is my detox phase!

[Betteralready]

Hang in there! What's really cool is that sometimes you just get a jolt of healing- it feels slow and awful, and then one day you just wake up feeling 10% better.

The more you focus on yourself and the things you love, the easier it is for your brain to make those little jumps.

: )