Bibora Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 This post might sound a bit silly but i still would like to know what would be the smarter thing to do... Well it goes like this. After my last meeting with my ex, i told her that there were still some things from her in the house, and she asked me to sent it to her. I agreed to send it and will do so. My question is, would i send a letter together with it, or just let things go? I mean, to be polite and kind, nothing else. I don't want her back after what happened, and i'm alot better now, after almost 2 month of break and i don't want to go the same road i was before again. Just a small letter wishing her well and happiness... I must add that in our last meeting she hurted me, and worse she didn't trust me (she had friends there, acting like bodyguards... and i didn't do anything that bad to have such behaviours...). So is she worth the effort, or shall i just send the stuff and forget about it once and for all? Link to comment
Scout Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I don't know...the tempation with a letter is that you might end up writing a whole bunch of stuff that's just going to make you come accross as not over her. If you honestly can really keep it to a two or three sentence note, making no mention whatsoever of your feelings, than it would be a nice gesture. But if you can't keep from adding something in like "I now know we weren't meant to be" or something patently transparent like that, then don't do it. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 No......based on her actions, she does not deserve good wishes and more importantly she will not appreciate them......you do not want to fee her ego any more then you may have .... that is just my opinion. Link to comment
detox5 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 i think its all about power, she will have power, if you send a letter, get your stuff, and run, give her a hand shake, and she might say ohh but wait i need to tell you something, be very quick and be like yea whatever bye. You dont care anymore, so show her you dont, you said you didnt wanna get back with her, and i sensed there was no desire to be friends. So just take your stuff and go, show her u dont care anymore. Why would you want to send a letter anyways, if you dont wanna get back with her and dont wanna be her friend, whats the purpose of being polite in your situation if shes hurt you and was a dick? Link to comment
Beec Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I don't know...the tempation with a letter is that you might end up writing a whole bunch of stuff that's just going to make you come accross as not over her. If you honestly can really keep it to a two or three sentence note, making no mention whatsoever of your feelings, than it would be a nice gesture. But if you can't keep from adding something in like "I now know we weren't meant to be" or something patently transparent like that, then don't do it. I agree with Scout. She's right on. Link to comment
PrincessLinzay Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I've decided that letters are always bad. I think the main goal is to make the ex feel guilty, perhaps bring back memories of how great and wonderful you were and maybe think they made a mistake. Truth is, making someone guilty isn't going to help anything. I say just send the stuff back with no letter. She hurt you and pretty much disrespected you, and she'll be the one who has to live with that. Link to comment
Leges39 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 if you finally have to employ the no contact rule and you do not see getting back together with your ex (they do not want to), should i send her all my pictures of us, the awsome jacket that belonged to her father, and other things i can't keep due to the memories? I have to send some things to her (via my brother because i can't stand to see her right now because it would be devastating) so should i also send her those things i obviously can't keep if i meet someone new? or do i just stick them in a box and save them? Link to comment
detox5 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 get rid of alll memories, not unless you DO want her back and DO still love her? Link to comment
Leges39 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 i do want her back and still love her, but i have employed no contact so i could finally let her go and ease my mind...... i have come to terms that we will not be together anymore...would it be too childish to just send those things to her? or should i just destroy the pics and all.....i could sell the jacket....or give it to her because selling it seems like the wrong thing to do. Link to comment
Bibora Posted January 17, 2005 Author Share Posted January 17, 2005 Basically everything i have that reminds me of her is gone. Either i gave it back or simply deleted (nothing was thrown away). Except for a blouse and a sweater (not sure how it is write). That actually i don't use it at all. The things i have is stuff from her and she requested it. So i decided that i'm gonna send it by mail (i'll pay the ports, but won't mind) but won't put any letter or anything at all. I'm pretty hurt with the way she acted the last time we meet, and i promised myself i wouldn't throw myself on her again. So no letters. Would be stupid of my part to do so, as i don't seek friendship with someone who doesn't trust me. Only after she realises what she did, i might consider something... Link to comment
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