fmfisdead Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Okay so this is rather embarrassing sort of and I guess this sounds weird to ask but what is a good age gap to consider for a girlfriend and/or boyfriend to have. The reason I'm asking is because I'm currently talking to a girl that I've known for quite sometime and we have become a lot closer. Recently we spoke of our feelings and all was cool. Its funny because just today I started thinking and realizing maybe she was kind of young. I'm 19 and shes 12.....Okay thats a joke actually! . Figured I mine as well spruce up the post. No but shes really 16 going to be turning 17 in a few months. I'm just wondering what you guys think, is she too young? I feel a little weird about it myself. But when we are talking I don't notice because shes really mature and stuff like that. Any thoughts? Link to comment
SilverManic Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Thats a really small age gap but might cause a few problems with her parents. Most of my friends are 17 and some of them are really mature! Infact I wouldn't even be able to tell they were any younger than me. I'd consider going out with someone 2 years younger than me but then things are slightly different over here. People are considered an adult at 16 and aloud to drink alchol at 18. I really don't think it's that bad. But then I guess it's wether you feel comfortable with it or not. Take care and good luck, ~S. Link to comment
Meow18 Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 I don't think that thats a big age gap either. Only 2 years. I could see it maybe being a problem with her parents. I mean, parents are always looknig out for their children, so they will want the best guy for their daughter. However, all you have to do is prove that you are a good guy who likes their daughter for her and aren't just looking for one thing. I think the best way would be to just meet them and let them get to know you. THe only reason age gaps seem too big is when you are younger. Maturity is the major issue. Like if she was 12 and you were 14, that seems like a bigger deal than her being 17 and you being 19. You have to be on the same maturity level, or close to the same, in order for things to go well with the relationship. Girls tend to mature faster than guys too. Link to comment
From_Now_On Posted January 17, 2005 Share Posted January 17, 2005 Hey there. That's the same age gap my boyfriend and I have. Except the other way around...which i guess most people would find unusual because usually the guy is supposed to be the oldest. The legality thing IS an issue. His parents don't like me and could get me into a lot of trouble even though I am very much not a "sexual" person and we have never even KISSED. I really don't know what to say to get around that except make sure you keep your hands and other limbs clear of any danger zones until she is of legal age. Which means you better like this girl a lot to want to wait years before you can have any sort of physical relationship. Also, remember that as mature as she is...she's still young and has less years of life experience. You have to be prepared to deal with that. Anyway, the age gap has been a very complicating factor in my relationship (although my boyfriend is quite mature). But, also, it's been worth it and I care about him more than anything and could see myself with him for a long time to come. Best of wishes to you. Link to comment
carribean chick Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Age is a number, it only represents the time that you've been alive o this earth.. it does not however, represent the maturity level of the person... that is what matters. And you completely shockd me when you said 12 lol Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Age gaps are... *sigh* I don't even know why people get so upset about them! I mean it's one thing if it's like a 15 year old and a 30 year old, you know? But small age gaps, within your own age RANGE when you're a teenager and young adult are really fine, and once you're 20 it's really not a big deal if your partner is much older than you. My fiance and I have an 8 year age gap (I'm 19, almost 20, and he's 27), and it has not been a problem at all. I truly believe that the thing that really matters is maturity. And it's also important that your personalities mesh. But age really isn't a huge thing in most cases. Obviously you want to be aware of any legal issues, but aside from that, if things are going well and you really like each other, in my opinion it's fine! Link to comment
Esprit Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Me too Hehe I very much agree with what's being said. Do you know how her parents would feel? Anyway, as far as age differences go, I really don't think that one's a big deal. Remember, love knows no age. Good luck with this girl, hope it works out! Link to comment
fmfisdead Posted January 20, 2005 Author Share Posted January 20, 2005 Im not sure if you guys are thinking its a 2 year age gap or 3, because its 3 right now. And I actually kind of feel better about it. I don't know why, but for some reason I'm fine with it but I'm just thinking everyone is going to be snickering behind my back and laughing because my girlfriend is still in highschool and im in my first year of college now. Who knows but who cares about them anyways, cuz if I met an awesome girl in this situation I would mind much what people said. Anyways thank you all for the great advice I seriously feel a lot better about it all. Thank you. Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 20, 2005 Share Posted January 20, 2005 Actually, hun, you'd be shocked at how many college/high school relationships exist. You're not the minority. So no worries. If you are confident in your relationship, then what others think shouldn't even matter. And when they see your confidence, they will have less reason to comment on the age gap. Link to comment
Esprit Posted January 21, 2005 Share Posted January 21, 2005 Its true! I know a ridiculous number of people in college/highschool relationships. Best of luck to you! Link to comment
Kbelles Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Age is a number, it only represents the time that you've been alive o this earth.. it does not however, represent the maturity level of the person... this is true. hey take me for example: im 19 (turning 20 in two months) and my bf JUST turned 31 a couple weeks ago. it works out great and we have a blast together. im a really mature 19 year old and he is a 31 year old who is a kid at heart. so we figure that we have an average age of 25 (that was a joke...hehe) what im tryin to say is this: your age gap is no bigger than what the two of you make it FEEL like..... Link to comment
PAdreamer Posted January 29, 2005 Share Posted January 29, 2005 Kbelles, you and I need to get together and compare notes! Sounds like we have a lot in common! Hahaha! By the way, I like that joke! I'm gonna tell that to everyone! Hehehe! Link to comment
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