Really nervous about a date...

[Lexy83]

Hello everyone,

 

I am supposed to go on a date with this guy whom I've known for a lot of years, but haven't seen in a while. And I am freaking out I haven't got any experience in dating whatsoever, I've met all of my ex boyfriends through friends - in a way I've got to know them a little bit before going on a date one-on-one. I've also met this guy through a friend, but this was years ago so for me it will feel like the first time.

 

We chatted a couple of times on facebook and since then I started noticing his interest. He invited me out a couple of times, but I wasn't sure at first. Last Sunday he asked me out for a coffee. I was not free, so I suggested to go some time this week. He said he is working in the afternoon but could go for an aperitif early in the evening.

 

NOW... I don't even know if this is a proper date, a friendly meet up or if he just thinks he can hook up. I am terrified at the idea of going, I am a shy person (only until I get a bit more comfortable though), so I am scared there might be awkward silences... or maybe I will like him but will be too shy the first time and won't get another chance to show him the real me. Or maybe I will feel so uncomfortable I will just want to escape

 

I feel more nervous about this day then I did for my most important exams lol. But I really want to try and get out of my comfort zone this time. Also, for some reason, even though I feel confident in myself, he really intimidates me, and I can't really figure out why.

 

Do you ever get this nervous before a first date? How to get over it, relax and just enjoy?

[missmarple]

Treat the date as if you're meeting a friend. Are you attracted to this guy?

[Lexy83]

Treat the date as if you're meeting a friend. Are you attracted to this guy?

 

I haven't seen him in years.. but from the pics I like him, and I've always thought he was a special guy. I would probably be nervous even if I wasn't attracted to him... just because I am always shy at first when I talk to someone knew. But of course this makes it worse

[Ms Darcy]

Take a deep breath. And then another. And then another.

 

Let us know how it went!

[SoulTaker]

We chatted a couple of times on facebook and since then I started noticing his interest. He invited me out a couple of times, but I wasn't sure at first. Last Sunday he asked me out for a coffee. I was not free, so I suggested to go some time this week. He said he is working in the afternoon but could go for an aperitif early in the evening.

 

NOW... I don't even know if this is a proper date, a friendly meet up or if he just thinks he can hook up.

 

Yes, this is a proper date. Choosing a coffee place is a good venue for the first couple of dates. The priority is on the two of you, and not the place you're at. Go there with a plan on what you want to discuss (what you're looking for "casual, relationship,...", his interests, is he currently with someone, what is he looking for in dating,...).

 

You don't want to get too personal, but you do want to know who you're dealing with. Also, don't get caught up in revealing anything too personal about yourself. Know in advance what you're willing to state about yourself. Just because someone asks you a question, doesn't mean you have to answer it.

 

Also, have a set time in which you can stay, and let him know. That way, if things don't go well, then you have a reason for cutting it short. If things are going well, then stay longer.

[Lexy83]

Thank you everyone for your advice. I will treasure it for my next date At the end, I didn't see the guy... he hasn't asked me out again. I know he had an exam the following week, then he went on holiday... he still likes all my pics, but nothing else happened.

 

I was nervous for nothing XD oh well