He wrote saying "I don't want anything to do with girls

[romantic sweetheart]

Hi. I have written about a man I met online. He asked me out three times, was intense and romantic, poetic and passionate....then after the third date he didn't want to see me anymore.

 

I later got an email saying he couldn't give me what I wanted unless all I wanted was a "really good orgasm" There's more, but that's the gyst of it.

 

I was crushed because I felt very drawn to him, and we had a wonderful few nights together...just sweet and fun and full of life. This sudden change was shocking and disheartening.

 

Tonight he sent an email asking for his books back (He let me borrow some of his books) It was written with as much feeling as a credit card solicitation.

 

He then told me that he had removed his profile from online and that he was not even going to think about girls, love, relationships, or "anything that makes life worth living." He said he didn't have the time or energy.

 

I wish I could be as intellectual and cold as he is about it all, but after reading that, I hung my head and let the tears flow. It still hurts...even though I only knew him that short time, I felt alive again, hopeful again, noticed again.

 

Just had to write this.....so someone might see my words...and help me heal. I hate thinking I should have done this or that...I know it's not my fault, but I still get in that trap...

[Zaine]

Hey, look i really understand wat u r goin through, the problem with findin ppl online is cuz u neva really know how compatable u two really are! And although it may seem great at furst the more and more u date him u will notice things u dotn agree with; weither or not he was hiding them.

 

I do not recommend findin a date online, it is much safer to go out sumwhere meet a guy and when u r sure he is nice enough then maybe get his email or a number.

Ofcourse u should also think of these experiences as a stepping stones through yur learnin path and u will eventually reach where yur headin. So my advice is revise wat happened with this man and think about where u might of made mistakes. And next time be sure of who yur dating so it wont abruptly end with an excuse!

 

[Mun]

Something like this happened to me once so I can relate to you Sweetheart.

 

I thought your friend had issues, well now I KNOW he has issues. It's still not about you, he just doesn't want to be in a real relationship. A relationship takes work, trust, being vulnerable and maybe he is not up for all that.

 

I still say move on. Get out there and give someone else a chance. This guy might get his act together some day and it's best he remember that you were dignified enough to walk away at the right time-- than stick around hoping for a miracle.

 

I have a feeling he knows he is no good for anyone right now ( or in the last 12 years)

[Wimpy]

Hey Romantic Sweetheart I really feel for you. I've only had a couple of experiences with "online" dating and they both ended badly and left me feeling pretty desperate so I decided that it wasn't a good forum to meet people - they are so rarely what they seem. Sounds like this guy had SERIOUS issues and his sexual prowess claims sound pretty ludicrous too! Just be glad you found out sooner rather than later. However it doesn't matter how many dates you went on, you still gave something of yourself and I guess it will take time to get over that bad feeling.

 

Try not to get too down...

[Maverick44]

Hi romantic,

 

I think he wrote that email and said things the way he said them because he wants to get a reaction out of you. I also think that its working. Its meant to make you think about why you're not together and do what he'd like you to do. I think its manipulative but those my thoughts.

 

Best of luck,

 

Maverick

[cooldude1234]

I think he wrote that email and said things the way he said them because he wants to get a reaction out of you. I also think that its working.Maverick

 

That hit the nail on the head. I once had a girl 'blame' me for her becoming a lesbian. I quickly got her out of my life and never spoke to her again. You should do the same.

[cassiana]

Well the orgasm stuff was pitiful. It sounded like immature bravado and an outline of terms he will have sex with you but no relationship. It sounds like he cannot commit. Being an angry sort myself, I would be tempted to answer back.What on earth makes you think you give great orgasms. You dont strike me as the kind of person, who has the patience, thoughtfulness or commitment to do that.If your sex is anything like your dating it will be short and unsatisfactory.

 

Why Why can't we cut them like they cut us sometimes?

[Mun]

Cassiana, because then he will know she cares too much...and he may just drag this on until he gets what he wants ( but doesn't really want --I wonder )

 

I feel like this guy doesn't want to get too close to any woman. I would say it's fear but he makes himself sound like a jerk so I'm not sure.

 

Still...be careful with him Sweetheart. The best thing is not to even bother with him anymore--at all!

[GettingOverIt]

I agree, and as far as his book are concerned... I would mail them to him and not even give him the satisfaction of seeing your face. He says he deleted his onlinbe profile, but I would bet a dime to a dollar he is just using another alias and is preying on some other unsuspecting soul, telling her what she wants to hear... He knows he got to you, and now you will need to be stronger than his cruelty.

 

You will find your heart's passion....

[Strandysmommy]

It sounds like something is going on in the background. He doesn't want to have anything to do with life, love, girls or anything worth living for? Either he's writing a dramatic blow-off email to scare you into thinking he's bum OR, he's got some issues. I'll take the latter myself. I think he sounds depressed, like maybe he's bi-polar, and the time you spent together was when he was on the high end, and now he's gone back down to the low end again. I mean I know it sucks to have him pull the rug out from under you like that...but if that was a sincere email, then I think something is happening un benounced to you. Maybe he's on the rebound and felt guilty and needed to come clean. He's a jerk none the less. Don't get involved with someone when you're on the mend...pure and simple!

[Belle]

romantic,

 

I'm sorry this guy pulled that stunt. please know next time to take it super slowly and odn't hop in the bed w/ a guy you don't know. he was unstable and promised you poetry but had nothing of substance to offer you but sex. I'm afraid you've been hornswaggled. it happened to me once. it sucks. but you'll know better next time to make a guy prove himself before you sleep w/ him. Chemically speaking, women can fall in love quicker under those circumstances due to high oxytocin levels that guys don't have. Slow it down and you'll fall for the right reasons. Consistency, honesty, goodness.

 

You can get laid anywhere but it doesn't sound like that's what you were after.

[Warrior_Poet]

Are you at fault for being passionate about life and love; for wanting to experience the comfort of handing your trust to someone and receiving it back undamaged? You do not see people as resources to be manipulated and cast aside and it is that much more disheartening when you encounter someone who seems content to do so. It may seem odd to think that I have been in your place. It seems so much more common that a man would seek to manipulate a woman. Sometimes it is money or sex or a combination of the two but if you cross paths with a user and you have a passionate giving heart, their manipulation will cut you deeply. No, if having the qualities of a very special person leaves you to be "blamed", then I can only hope that I am "guilty" as you. You are not alone in your pain, Romantic Sweetheart, and I hope that will not be alone when you find your deepest joy.

[BushCheney04]

Let me get this straight...you get all emotionally tied to an internet bum who just wants to test out his technique? And all this after a few back & forths on the keyboard? Get over it! Don't EVER, and I mean EVER get emotionally wrapped up with guys over the DSL line. This is what you end up with...an ultimate orgasm wannabe. Quit pondering about him and start concentrating on why you attach so easily, and conversely, get so crushed on the backend. Don't settle. Settlers get burned. Raise the bar on the men in your "real" life and cultivate meaningful and realistic relationships. Happiness just isn't that difficult if you follow the rules...