Depression

[sisterlynch]

I read somewhere that depressed people think about themselves more than others and I have trouble believing that is true. I am depressed and I don't know if I spend a lot of time thinking about myself more than other people...It seems like everyone puts themselves first more than anyone else...I guess some people put their friends first, and others may put family members first...I can't see how thinking about yourself too much makes you depressed, unless you are blaming yourself for something that you didn't do or couldn't control...any thoughts on that??

[ShySoul]

When someone is depressed they tend to wallow in there own troubles and problems. It can become an attitude of "poor me" and "why does all this bad stuff have to happen to me, what did I do to deserve it." People can be so concerned with there own problems that they ignore the problems of those around them. I think that might be what they were talking about. It doesn't have to happen but can be true for some people.

[Gauchori]

I've looked this up, and this is what I found for depression: (Dictionary)

 

Depression:

 

The act of depressing.

The condition of being depressed.

An area that is sunk below its surroundings; a hollow.

The condition of feeling sad or despondent.

Psychology. A psychiatric disorder characterized by an inability to concentrate, insomnia, loss of appetite, anhedonia, feelings of extreme sadness, guilt, helplessness and hopelessness, and thoughts of death. Also called clinical depression

 

Does this ring the bell a bitt? You may be depressed when you are blaming yourself like the last poster said and when you feel in a lower position or less than someone else.

Also when you don't get or reach what you want, or a goal... you may get depressed about that...

 

There are many other examples if you think about it...

Hope that was something

[SkyFire]

link removed

[Amethyst]

When someone is depressed they tend to wallow in there own troubles and problems. It can become an attitude of "poor me" and "why does all this bad stuff have to happen to me, what did I do to deserve it."

 

I agree. Depression magnifies your problems and causes you to concentrate on how bad things are (which, in turn, worsens the depression -- it's a vicious circle).

 

Most people who suffer from depression can only think of how horrible their lives are...their thoughts generally revolve around themselves:

 

"Nobody likes me"

"I hate my life."

"I am worthless and not good for anything."

"Everyone else would be better off if I was dead."

 

I could go on and on.

 

I have a friend who once suggested that when I was feeling depressed, I should make an effort to help someone else with a problem. It truly *does* make me feel better, because it takes my focus off of *me* and puts it on someone else.

[ShySoul]

I agree with Amethyst, if you are feeling depressed try to help someone else out with a problem. It gets your mind off of your troubles. It can also show you that your life isn't as bad as it seems. When you help out at a homeless shelter and see people without a place to live or enough food to get by on, it makes you realize there are people who suffer far worse then you do. It makes you want to value what you do have and count your blessings. Or even if its just coming on this board and giving advice to others who may be going through the same experiences as you are. It can help to know that you are not alone in how you are feeling.

[sdw]

I always think it's important to remember a few things when you are depressed. Often you are not depressed but just sad. i.e. you break up with your partner, your jobs not going great. Sadness is circumstantial, depression is more serious and longer lasting.

 

Depressed people often lack confidence, but the only thing they do not lack confidence in is their own view that they are pretty worthless and their life is pointless. It is a sign of mucked up thinking when you probably doubt every aspect of your worth except the bit telling you bad stuff.

[sisterlynch]

I need to get off my chair and stop making excuses. I argue too much, and I need to remember not to do that so much.

[Fif Angel]

Actually I don`t think that`s fair. Depression is a recognised clinical illness, it`s not just about wallowing in your own misery from time to time.

 

Of course I`m not taking about just occasionally feeling down from time to time or having a couple of bad days. If that`s the case then by all means try to think about other people`s troubles and put it into perspective but that is not real depression.

 

*Real depression* is about feeling so low that some days you cannot bring yourself to get out of bed. It makes you lose interest in all life`s pleasures and see everything through a greeny yellow haze. Of course it may seem to others that you are wallowing in misery but depresion means that you genuinely cannot shake youreself out of it no matter how much you may want to.

 

As one who has watched sevral close friends verge towards suicidal because of being depressed, I can asssure everyone that it is not merely a case of `me, me, me`.

[thisisnotanexit]

iagree, sometimse depression is really a disorder. nevertheless, it can still be helped. check out this site

 

link removed

[sisterlynch]

I have added that to my favorites list...thank you!!

[Amethyst]

Actually I don`t think that`s fair. Depression is a recognised clinical illness, it`s not just about wallowing in your own misery from time to time.

 

I don't believe anyone here said otherwise. We simply stated that "wallowing in your own misery" was something that depressed people tend to do.

 

I can asssure everyone that it is not merely a case of `me, me, me`.

 

Again, no one said it was the *cause* -- it's simply a *symptom* of the illness.

[sisterlynch]

I guess that was what I was thinking, that almost all people think of themselves more than others, and just thinking of yourself a lot isn't a really good determination of whether you are actually depressed or not...it seems like it is the quality of the thoughts about yourself that you are having, not mereling thinking of yourself, it is being too sensative to criticism, or putting your own needs under the needs of those around you...those are signs that you may be depressed. I feel that depressed people become angry more easily, and are more easily confused or picked on by others. Simply because they don't think that highly of themselves.

[Fif Angel]

Actually, Amethyst, when you suggest helping other people as a sort of cure for depresion it does tend to imply that depression is the result of too much introspection and not actually an illness in its own right.

 

Its a fairly complex interplay of chemical and psycho-social factors and yes if you are having a couple of bad days doing something for someone else may hep you but if you are clincally depressed then it`s not necessarily going to make the chemicals in your brain function the way they should.

 

I`m not trying to have a go at anyone here, but I do feel passionately about mental illness and I hate the way that society tends to dismiss depresion as something that you can just shake yourself out of.

[Amethyst]

Actually, Amethyst, when you suggest helping other people as a sort of cure for depresion it does tend to imply that depression is the result of too much introspection and not actually an illness in its own right.

 

I'm sorry, but you are putting words in my mouth. I never said helping others was any sort of cure. What I said was that it *helped* the depression because it helps us focus on others.

 

As I said, I see dwelling on the problems with self as a *symptom* of the *illness*. Just because something is an *illness* does NOT mean we cannot treat the *symptoms*.

 

Last month, for example, I had a cold. Any doctor will tell you that there is no *cure* for a cold; it simply has to run its course. But, that doesn't stop them from prescribing *decongestants* to help with the *congestion*, *cough medicine* to stop the *cough*, *throat spray* to soothe the *sore throat*, etc..

 

Yes, depression *is* a recognized clinical illness. Yes, it can be caused by chemical imbalances and other things that are *not* the person's fault. No, there is *no* cure. But, YES, there *are* things that *treat symptoms* of depression.

 

I know you said that you weren't trying to "have a go" at me, but you seem to be taking this personally and going on the defensive when no one is attacking you on the offensive. It seems as though you are trying to change my mind, but I already agree with your position.

[sisterlynch]

This conversation is helping, because this seems like a safe environment, and the things that you are saying, even though they are directed at one another, seem to be making me understand how others feel about a depressed individual, and that is pretty much the case with me, too.

 

I just feel weird about my own darn self occasionally, and wonder if my constant feelings that I am not going to measure up eventually, will stop me from having a fun life.

 

 

I do use my introspection to motivate me to do more and I do enjoy looking on this websight, for problems and concerns that I have never encountered before.

 

I just wonder how others view a depressed person in the world, or work force or family etc...

 

As long as I am in control of the simptoms, do I appear normal to others, or do others look at me as a target? Not just about me, but about depressed people in general.

 

Do people have simpathy for the feelings and observations of a more sensative individual, or do they see them as the "weakest Link" ??

[ShySoul]

I would think that if someone is feeling down or depressed, others would want to help them and have simpathy for them. We all go through tough times so to look down upon someone else when there in a rough spot is a mean and cruel thing too do. That's not to say that there aren't some mean people who will view you as weak, but these peope are in the minority and shouldn't matter to you anyway. Most people are good people who genuinely care about others and would want to help you if you are feeling down.

[sisterlynch]

Thank you shy soul, that really helps!!

[Amethyst]

This conversation is helping, because this seems like a safe environment, and the things that you are saying, even though they are directed at one another, seem to be making me understand how others feel about a depressed individual, and that is pretty much the case with me, too.

 

Good, because I wouldn't want you to think we were trying to hi-jack your thread or something.

 

I just wonder how others view a depressed person in the world, or work force or family etc...

 

Honestly, you're trying to generalize it, and you really can't. It just depends on the individual as to how they accept it.

 

I, personally, know people who take the stance Fif Angel is so dilligently fighting against -- that depression is a "state of mind" and would simply "go away" if the person would take control of themselves. I also know people who understand that depression can be caused by factors the individual has no control over and should be treated like any other illness.

 

You'll likely run into both points-of-view. Some will understand; some will give you flack. The important thing is that those who truly care about you will want you to do whatever you can to get help.

 

You need to seek treatment (if you haven't already) and try not to worry about what others think. If they can't understand, it's their loss and they really aren't worth your time or tears.

[sisterlynch]

Maybe you are not getting my point, I want to live in the real world, but the world that I live in may not understand my feelings, so I feel like I have to be on guard not to hurt their feelings, I guess.

 

Maybe I am being too sensitive, who knows. Sometimes I feel like people will put me down, just because they know that I cannot stand up for myself, even tho I am getting better in certain areas, I still can't stand to feel as if someone may be marginalizing me. I am becoming more assertive, I guess it is just one step at a time.

[ShySoul]

sisterlynch, I think I may get where you are coming from. It's like you want to fit in and so you are careful around people, trying not to disagree too much or express thoughts and feelings that may be different then what others have. But at the same time you want to be appreciated and understood for your own thoughts and feelings and don't like the idea of others judging you or looking down on you just because you are being yourself. It's a hard thing to balance.

 

Keep working on being more assertive. That's how you make sure that others won't take advantage of you, by showing them that you are strong enough to voice your own opinions and that you won't let others walk all over you. Be proud of who you are and don't let others dictate how you are. And like I said before, those kind of people aren't as common as the good people who will appreciate and want to hear what you have to say.

[sisterlynch]

You are sensing exactly what I am getting at, and it is true that most people are gentle and kind especially if you treat them well, they will see that and treat you well too. It is the people who go and hurt others just to make themselves look better that get to me, and I am having a hard time with those kinds of people, who want everyone to be the same, so my frustration comes when one of these people is a boss or a teacher, and no matter how long or much I try I will always be an oval, trying to fit into a square or circle. Maybe other people feel that way too.

 

There is no right answer, it is just a question of diversity and knowing where you fit in to society and being true to your spirit.

[ShySoul]

Those people bother me too. I've always felt like that oval, never fitting in no matter how hard I try. Finally, I just stopped trying. If everyone was the same, the world would be a dull place. It's our differences that allow us to grow and learn new things. We should be proud of them. And the people you mentioned are just hurting themselves. It's karma: what goes around comes around. In the end we all get exactly what we deserve and they will only end up hurt themselves.

[sisterlynch]

You are very wise, thank you very much, you have helped me immensely!!