More than a year on

[Ragamuffin blu]

I had a breakup about 18 months ago and I found it really hard to cope with. I have done lots of things to improve my life and make myself stronger which I am really proud of. About 7 months ago I found out my ex was engaged to the person she cheated with and they got married this summer. I have her blocked on facebook and apart from receiving her letter telling me she was engaged I have been no contact. 3 months ago I moved on with my life once again and moved to a new city, I have been meeting lots of new people and doing lots of new exciting things, and apart from a few moments life has been good. Last weekend I bumped into my ex and her new wife. My ex is foreign, so is her new partner and they have both moved to the same city as me, I was really really shocked. I now see they are in the same meet up groups as me. I know it should not affect me but now I look out to check they are not in the same place as me, and going to the same groups. I know they are just living their life but I don't want to see it or be around it. I wish I didn't let this affect me but it is so hard. How do people deal with this?

[SpottiOtti]

Man, I don't blame you one bit for not wanting to be around them. Perfectly normal. I think you should continue to "screen" for them, but give yourself a time limit. You can't always be looking over your shoulder for them. When the time limit is up, say 6 months or whatever, then pick up with the meetup groups where you left off. Who knows, maybe she feels crappy seeing you (and she should), maybe seeing you reminds her of her cheating behavior and they will be screening for you too?