I think I am handling this the right way (somewhat long)

[tbbearcat5]

hey guys and gals,

 

Currently, there is this girl that I have been friends with for about the past two months, and things are going great. We hang out often, talk online at least once a day, occasionally over the phone, and we get along great, and this is after a bad situation that we had been through in the first semester (thought I was being played). I can go into that more if needed.

 

Here's some background info.

 

I was a bit pissed off, so I sent her a not-so-nice email, to which she explained there was a lot going on in her life and she thought we were going too fast, that she wasn't playing me, and that she sucks at telling people her feelings. She told me that she was truly sorry that I felt that way, even though she wasn't playing me, was interested in what goes on with me, and wanted to show me the "real her". I felt bad because of some of the things I said in that email, but I can't take it back.

 

Over the winter break, we talked very often, I think there were only three or four days over a span of three weeks in which we didn't talk at least once a day either on the phone or on MSN. She told me early on in the break that she felt she was "growing" as a person, and that to me was huge. And then a few days later, around xmas, she tells me I should go with her to a new year's party with her in a town about three hours from mine (four from hers). I accepted, but sadly, her parents had her stay home. We continued to talk up until near the end of the break.

 

Closer to the end of break, I began to get a little nervous b/c I didn't know how she would behave around me b/c we hadn't hung out in awhile. But I was pretty relieved when I went to visit her that first night back, and we got along great, and we have ever since then. She told me that I am always welcome to hang out.

 

As far as my feelings for her, I am not in love with her, but I definitely am interested. A couple of things that I have noticed: Constant little pet names. Honey, sweetie, baby doll, but I'm quite sure they don't have any meaning to them. Second, she has dropped the "L" word in a few instances, once in an email over the break in her signature, and once again just the other day. She said to me in an MSN conversation that "I know u love me" to which I shrugged it off, saying hehe, whatever, to which she said "Hey, why are you laughing about that?"

 

Other things...in a group of friends, when something funny happens, we tend to make eye contact while laughing...when friends are around, she is loud and playful, but when we are alone, she gets quieter and speaks in a lower tone...little things. I'm not sold on the fact that she likes me, but I think there could be small interest on her part...but I like how I am handling it now..just as friends, and see where it goes.

 

That's my tangent...what do ya think?

 

tb

[SilverManic]

Best to get to know eachother better really, learn to trust eachother as friends and if it's ment to be it will be. You'll know when the time is right. It sounds like she does like you. But don't go with her if you can't see yourself in love with her because that is just unfair. Love is the main element of any relationship and comes with time.

~S.

[Alabama]

It's a good idea to keep things slow and stay as friends. You are both handling this rather well, from what I've read, and I would say that if you did ever want a relationship you have all the time in the world to start it. You're doing good...keep it up. Good luck!

[tbbearcat5]

But don't go with her if you can't see yourself in love with her because that is just unfair. Love is the main element of any relationship and comes with time.

~S.

 

No, I'm not in love with her, but this doesn't mean that I can't or don't want to be. As noted in my initial post, I am falling for her slowly, but surely. I have had the worst kind of luck in dating since my ex and I split in October of '03, and I understand that these kind of things take time. I want my next relationship to mean something (since my last one turned out to be too physical too quick) and I want it to mean something to her too if we do decide to ever give it a try.

 

Also, I accidentally omitted something from my first post - she has already had her heart broken this school year, he left her for another girl that she knows, so that could be why she was a little hesitant in the first place. I found this out the other night when I was hanging out with her and her friends. It makes a lot of sense, looking back now.

 

BTW, I am 21 and a junior in college, and she is 18 and a freshman.