Stuck in a rut.

[Psych]

Hi ENA,

 

Re: my life, I see a huge rut on the horizon that is already beginning. Words of wisdom and/or encouragement from anyone who is or has been where I am would be much appreciated. Behold: the essentials of my life story to date.

 

When I pursued my Bachelor’s degree, I took the common strategy of staying close to home for convenience and affordability. Home is a farm in the middle of nowhere, and the closest university was in a city that I was already familiar and comfortable with. By my standards at the time, the city was big and exciting. When I finished my degree, I found a job that I loved in the same city. So I stayed and worked at that job for 4 years. Over the 9 years I lived there, I grew bored with the city. I did everything there was to do, almost all of my friends left for better things, it grew increasingly hard to meet new friends, and my dating life ceased to the point that I thought there was something wrong with me. So 2 years ago, I made a change.

 

Since I loved my job and hated my city, I took an education leave from my job to pursue a Master’s degree in my profession in a new, much bigger city accross the country. I absolutely adored it! It had scenery, culture, history, and all types of people. I met people who share my interests. I made friends. I dated. I earned my Master’s degree and launched an unsuccessful job hunt, which landed me back at my old job, in the city I hate.

 

The one perk to being back in the city I’ve outgrown is that I was granted a good (albeit temporary) promotion. I am using my Master’s degree, but only for the rest of the fiscal year. In April, I will have to step back down to my old job, for which I am now overqualified and would find dull and unfulfilling.

 

My dilemma:

My profession is a tough one to get into right now. Most of my fellow graduates are stuck doing short contracts, if they are employed at all. I fear that if I am ever to escape this place again, I will have to take a big risk: giving up permanent work at a good salary for short-term contract work with no stability. That prospect is especially scary with the amount of student debt I have racked up. Meanwhile, life in this city is exactly the same as before. I go out and do things that should help me meet like-minded people, but I don’t meet any because they are just not here. My friends rave about my good qualities (fun, smart, pretty, sexy, etc.), but in this city, my good qualities are just going to waste. I’m 30 years old, in my prime, and I feel like my life is passing me by.

 

Advice and sympathy would be welcome. Thanks.

[rosephase]

Why would you never escape it again? You work there, get some professional use of your masters and then start looking for work you want in cities you like. You know what you want. I know it sounds like your moving back into your parents house but that isn't what is happening. If it's a hard field getting a chance to use your degree professionally is important.

[Psych]

Hi rosephase,

 

Thanks for your reply. I fear getting stuck here for a few reasons. I might never be offered a job somewhere else, and if I do, it might be a short contract that ends in unemployment. Also, I never have anyone to help me move, so having to do everything by myself all the time makes it a much bigger ordeal. The further I move, the more work it is. What if I never have the time/money/energy to do it again? Also, the older I get, the harder it is to meet anyone. If I do finally get to move more permanently to a better city, what if nobody else my age is looking for friends/dates anymore and I just end up alone again?

 

I worked really hard to get out of here, survive grad school, and gain strong job skills. I just feel like I ended up exactly where I started. It's depressing.