Not really feelin it today

[HajiMaji]

I dont think i really have a point. Ive just been sorta sad today, remembering times in my old relationship. Its depressing to think that this is a part of my life now. Do i accept that some days im going to be sad and think about things were? Ill remember some of the great stuff that happened and be sad its gone, i guess. Im not sad like i use to be, and i bet this will go away tommarow or the next day but i still dont like it

 

Just cause IM thinkin back to when things were good and we were together doesnt mean SHE is, so contacting her would be pointless. I do have that desire, but my brain wont let me. I guess i just miss her today. She was pretty cool man!

 

Im down with this whole time thing. Things have been getting better but i guess its the nature of time to not instantly fix it all. I see improvements but i can still get sad appearently. After so much time, is it possible i will never get sad about her again? Maybe in say 9 months?

 

Bah. Ya dont have to reply to this, i guess i just wanted to get that stuff out.

[Caldus]

Yes, it may seem depressing to think that it's a part of your life now. But that's in the past and the past cannot be altered. So the best you can do is to learn from those past experiences and to remain positive. Negativity by nature is counterproductive. It's OK to be sad once in a while though. It just happens. But you have to be able to keep a positive mindset about the whole situation.

 

It sounds like you're making progress already and that's great. So it's all a matter of time before things will get a lot better again. I think that at some point in your life you will not feel sad about your ex anymore but there's no definite time as to when that will happen.

[ajk]

sometimes you can think of someone years later and still be sad about things...just depends where you are in your life and what is going on. it is hard if not impossible to be completely healed, and to only keep good memories (and even if you do, it can make you sad to think of them).

 

the work you do now, though, will help you be more positive and heal more for the long run. now you are going through the hardest time, so it gets easier, if not perfect.

 

don't beat yourself up about having bad days...it happens to the best of us

 

today i was pretty sad about my ex, too. sometimes it's just the weather. on sunny days it's better, even if i miss him, to not feel so down about it. are you having that problem, too?

[sonjam]

It is perfectly normal to have these nostalgia now and again. Even 10 years later, I still sometimes have a sad moment, wondering where a special person is, and if he finally found the love that eluded him for so long, that I could not provide.

 

That is part of life. You have to be glad that it happened to you, you have memories to cherish, and that love did not pass you by alltogether. It makes us stronger, and better candidates for successfull relationships in the future!!

 

Hang in there, the sun will shine again tomorrow.

[HajiMaji]

Thanks for taking time to respong

 

Sonjam i really like your icon. I know im a dude and im not suppose to like faries or whatever but that looks nice

 

Man, when i read what you said about how 10 years later sometimes you think about where they are i got sad! Hopefully by then when i think about them the weight will be less on my heart. Ive learned through this situation of mine that im a very emotional dude and i feel things pretty intense. I still want that, but i just want the sadness to be lighter, and it sounds like it will.

 

Hehe, and yeah on sunny days (yesturday) i was feelin awesome. Today was a little gloomy.. That might just be ajk

[nanomyte]

Things do fade with time, just as the memories themself do (I say that speaking as a person with a crummy memory at times and an incredible memory at other times). There are a couple of little adages that I remember from time to time that I like. A religious one that sums up as "having the strength to change that which you can change, and accept that which you cannot change" might be appropriate here (not to be preachy or anything).

 

As far as my personal story goes, I've been divorced for a hair over a year now. Sometimes I wonder where she is. Then I remember why I divorced that person (quite literally lying, cheating, and stealing), and I decide that I really don't care where she is or if she's happy. However, being that I'm a sympathetic person, I wish her the best regardless. Sometimes I think of the good times between her and I, but, after spending some time away from the relationship, I realize that everything was not as rose colored as I thought it was at the time.

 

Now, if I got divorced from my current wife (I go on and off the fence on this one), I'm sure I would feel much different as my only real issue with my wife is that we are really different people and she has a lot of growing to do before she catches up with me. Come to think of it there are several issues, but listing them would be digressing as I think you get that point that I bear my wife no ill will. If she and I were to get divorced I would feel kind of bad about leaving her (as she would pretty much never leave me unless I suddenly became a totally different person than I am), and I would wonder if she would ever find happiness (or refrain from going postal on herself for that matter). I'm not totally sure how I would feel after such an event as I'm one of those "I care about other people" type of guys, but I think my brain might start to get a bit full with too much to think about regarding memories of relationships.

 

If you can get anything out of my experiences, great. If not, then thanks for letting me vent a little. ;-)

[HajiMaji]

yeah nano, thanks for replying