Anyone Moved to a New Country Recently?

[Madamdiva007]

Feeling kind of lonely here and wanted to reach out to anyone who may be in a similar situation.

 

I moved overseas about 6 months ago, and I was wondering if anyone had any similar experiences they'd care to discuss.

 

I'll share my story if you share yours!

[panther]

I moved alone to Germany almost two years ago. It's not easy, but I wouldn't go back.

The thing I feel that is the most difficult one, is friends. I am 29, was 27 when I came here. I met some people, mainly at work. But I start realising that the friends I made, already have their lives established, their circle of friends, their routines, while I was starting all this from beginning. So, it becomes difficult to enter their lives. I am not very good at making friends and I am not good at first sights, people usually think I'm not nice at the beginning which only makes everything harder.

In my home country, I have maybe four friends that I can say, will be my friends forever. Friends who I can aways count on for everything. I realise now, how many people did I meet in those 27 years home, and how many stayed in my life.

Well, I have friends here to whom I can turn to if I'm feeling bad or if I need something or to go out with. But if it's the other way around, if they need a friend, I am not the one they turn to. They have other people to do this. So I guess I am not anyones first choice here.

I recently heard about this site, Meetup. There are groups of people to go into activities. And there are many groups of international people who are in the same situation. I went to one meeting so far and made one friend with whom I met once again after. I realise I have to meet many people. Many will come and go but some might stay and become good friends. Could you consider trying this as well?

So that is my summarised story and my main concern.

[sophie274]

I moved to a developing country also about six months ago (but I was testing it out for a while before deciding to stay).

 

My struggles are:

 

1. It's a developing country and I don't like in a "major city" (only the capital is a major city). It's hard to find a lot of things I want, foods I like and am used to eating, clothes, furniture, anything nice really. It's frustrating. I visited my parents in the us recently and almost cried in the supermarket because I couldn't believe the abundance (and frankly, how lovely and huge and clean and just gleaming it was). And this was your average American supermarket.

 

2. I'm instantly recognizable as a foreigner. I hate feeling like I have a stamp on my head. (And people think foreign=money so they constantly try to rip you off and feel justified in doing so).

 

3. My visa process. OMG the bureaucracy, the inefficiency. Makes me want to scream.

 

4. I don't really feel lonely, because I feel very close to my boyfriend and love spending time with him, and because I really like my coworkers. Don't feel like I have much time for much else. But I do wish I knew other expats. The familiar is so so comforting.

 

5. I hate feeling so dependent on someone else. I moved to be with my boyfriend. I have my own money and my visa does not depend on him. But I'm only here because of him, and it's hard to know I'm only doing this for him, because if we argue, I instantly think "is it worth it" "will I have wasted my time if we break up". I don't feel as secure and confident as if I were doing this for me.

[BingYu]

Well I'm moving to California in about a month. It's initially going to be for a working holiday visa coz I decided to take a gap year after I graduated from uni in September. I thought that I've studied all my life and excelled at them, so it's time to reward myself and also explore the world before I choose to settle down and have a family/stable job. I also believe going overseas will also give me lots of opportunities, in terms of professional and personal growth and value so I think it's a really good choice. I have some cousins over in Washington DC who I guess are going to be the closest thing to me should I ever need any friends or help in the states, although I've never met them before just cause I was so young when we were still in Indonesia... Only my sisters are familiar with them, not me.

 

Anywho, I also went to Germany at the beginning of last year for a six month exchange program through uni. I struggled a lot because I guess I've always been an introvert and was always the one clinging onto my mum slash looking after her (coz she's divorced and quite old). Anywho, I couldn't speak German, I struggled with the insanely cold temperatures and confusing German subway stop names, locations... I also had difficulty adjusting to the fact nothing opened on a Sunday, because I always thought it was a day for people to hang out like it is here, but instead the Germans used it almost as a Sabbath day or family day... Which in fact made me feel lonely. Until I clicked with my church group, and they became my second family

 

I also got a chance to explore some places in Europe like Prague, Amsterdam, Nice, Paris, Italy... etc. And did in the end learn some German and make some awesome friends, who I still keep in touch with now.

 

Bad side of the story is, I broke up with my girlfriend while I was there though, and she was a enough to find another boyfriend less than a month after we broke up, and because of my own proneness to anxiety I suffered pretty severe depression several boots, both there and especially when I returned coz I had to figure out how to handle myself, and gosh was it a severely lonely road (so it seemed) going through and processing it all, although my family was always there for me doing their best to help (I couldn't always see it that way though, sadly! And scarily!).

 

Anywho, I'm moving in a month, and although it's just a working visa for now I know that the chances of me staying there for longer is extremely high, especially with my keen Explorer spirit, graduate single status and relatives in US, but I'm super excited and just trying to make the most of my remaining time with my friends and family before I go.

 

In a sense I feel that this transition to the US will be MUCH easier, having gone to Munich, especially because of the lack of language barriers, but I'm still slightly scared just coz it feels it's going to slightly be a 'perm anent' move...

 

Anywho, I guess the scare is part of the thrill and the whole excitement of me wanting to go anyway. I'm just hoping I don't leave with any sort of, relational regrets like I did last time when I went to Germany.

 

But anywho. That's me I hope you're state is improving overseas!

[magicianguy]

I moved to Scandinavia from America in November of 2013, I like it here just miss my family, going for a visit this July.

 

-TMG

[melancholic_too]

I moved to the US almost 10 years ago (for the first time). I actually moved back and forth twice and still am not sure if I am made for living here forever. LOL. I'm originally from Germany (hence the username, duh) and I often miss the lifestyle and also my family of course. But I also realize that after 10 years I would have a hard time re-adjusting to life in Germany as well.

I'm currently considering moving to the West Coast (from Florida) and I have plans to visit California in May. I've already visited Seattle and was in love instantly.

 

I say get out there and see the world.