Boyfriend doesn't communicate

[countrygirlusa]

I been Dating this guy for almost 5 yrs he hates serious conversations I have been tryin to talk to him for the past week about our relationship and where we are at with it and why he's been acting so weird lately he's been so distant and more of an a$$ lately I have tried to talk to him nurmous times now and I'd almost be better off talkin to the wall he shuts down and blocks everyone out and gets defensive does anyone have any ideas of how I could get him to talk to me and actually listen? Or anything that would work?

[HeartGoesOn]

Ignore him...silence carries the loudest voice.

[treesandbees]

He doesn't want to discuss it, so he is avoiding the "talk" with you. It must be hard to go 5 years with a partner who won't share and open up - write him a letter to read if he won't sit down and talk face to face.

[countrygirlusa]

I have done the letter before but doesn't always stick with him and he is a commitaphobe as well which makes everything harder but just wish I could atleast get him to actually open up and talk to me

[mhowe]

If it's been 5 years ---- and he doesn't want to talk about the direction the relationship is going --- it may be time for you to step off the train.

[bulletproof]

So if you get him to have a conversation about where the relationship is going, and somehow you end up marrying this guy, do you really want to spend the rest of your life begging him to talk to you?

 

If he hasn't done so in five years, I seriously doubt he is going to start now. I also question the label of "commitmentphobe." I think you are just making excuses for him.

[annie24]

I been Dating this guy for almost 5 yrs he hates serious conversations I have been tryin to talk to him for the past week about our relationship and where we are at with it and why he's been acting so weird lately he's been so distant and more of an a$$ lately I have tried to talk to him nurmous times now and I'd almost be better off talkin to the wall he shuts down and blocks everyone out and gets defensive does anyone have any ideas of how I could get him to talk to me and actually listen? Or anything that would work?

 

No answer is your answer. I am sorry.

[lavenderdove]

If someone is unwilling to talk to you, it means they are not willing to negotiate.

 

In other words, what you see is what you get. He doesn't want to accommodate you or change or even talk about changing. He's shut you out because he has no interest in discussing anything or changing. So he just goes silent and does his own thing.

 

I read your other thread where you have a child together and you want to marry about 5 years and for him to mature and commit to you. He's just not interested in that, or in changing his behavior. What you see is what you get, so if you're really unhappy, you may need to make a decision to leave him and go find a guy who will communicate and give you what you want.