Post-Breakup Grey Area

[jerseygirl13]

So my ex and I of almost a year broke up two weeks ago and I bumped into him yesterday for the first time since. It was a pretty casual, "Hi, how are you?, What are you up to?" kind of deal but nerve wracking as hell. He said he missed me more than once and gave me a snug hug goodbye.

 

He's a DJ and told me he was going to a new club that night so I assumed he would be busy DJing the entire time. My friends saw the flyer for it and thought it would be a good idea to go and check it out. Not wanting to stay in by myself knowing all of my friends would be at the club that my ex-boyfriend would be occupying led me to joining them. Much to my surprise though, my ex was not busy DJing but instead just going to support.

 

We have a very strong physical connection and a huge history of partying together at clubs since usually I would go out to support him while he DJed somewhere. Hence, this situation was all too familiar to us but surreal at the same time. We ended up reluctantly dancing with each other leading to some kisses here and there but mostly talked throughout the night as it was difficult for us to comprehend what was happening. I couldn't get away from him and found myself yearning for his presence by my side. Conflicted feelings were arising and I did not know how to deflect or handle them properly but I tried the best I could.

 

Getting back together is not an option and I have made that clear to him because we are incompatible and we both need to spend time growing as individuals and love ourselves first before adding another person to the mix since I lost myself in the relationship. However, we both miss certain aspects of our relationship.

 

He asked me to go to lunch in the near future just to talk and catch up. I don't want to fall in his trap again but a part of me also still really wants to see him. Is it too risky? and would I be giving him the wrong impression that I want to get back together?

[SooSad33]

Yes, you need to be careful here.

IF you two are broken up for good, then I suggest you do NOT go following him. But refrain from this any further.

You both need that distance now.

 

It's best to start anew. Change your habbits re: him. Don't goto the clubs, especially one's you know he'll be at.

If you do things like this, yes it'll get confusing, it'll set of more emotions, etc.

Best to cut it clean & steer clear of him now, so you can BOTH work on accepting & healing.

 

No more contact.. nothing.

 

Time to let go and let him work on himself & getting his life going, again. (respect for each other)

[Clinton]

If getting back together is off the table, why are you going where he is and making out with him?

 

Stay clear of each other if he is so irresistible and you can't keep your hands off him.

 

You are just leading him on at this point.