slw1 Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 The ex gf and I started to hang out again back in October , we went out a couple of times and were talking on the phone and exchanging e-mails. She was talking about doing things together again in the future and wanted to help me with my school work(returned to school at 34). We were friends again and that is all I was asking for. But, in the last month she has become very distant, she does not return my phone calls and never called during the holidays. We both swim at the University pool and she would come and swim with me at 3, she now goes earlier to avoiid me.We talked about skiing earlier , but she has not called to ask me if want to go. She is very aloof when I do see her. I am killing myself trying to figure out what I have done wrong, But I know I havent done anything,she has just gotten weird on me.I know she is very busy and stressed out with her phd studies b, but she can still act friendly.The thing that confuses me the most is that she is super friendly and outgoing girl, and this is not like her at all to be so cold. Should I ask her whats going on, why she is avoiding me? Or should I just leave it, and not contact her anymore? I have not contacted her for 3 weeks now and I doubt she is ever going to call me. Link to comment
tiger_lilies Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 Perhaps you should entertain the idea that she has met someone else and doesn't know how to tell you for fear of hurting you. Her avoiding your calls indicates so in my books. I have to admit to have done the same with my ex's. Just my 2 cents. Link to comment
slw1 Posted January 4, 2005 Author Share Posted January 4, 2005 Yeah, I thought that too. But I am pretty sure that is not the case. Link to comment
S.Ken Posted January 4, 2005 Share Posted January 4, 2005 Dude, she's an EX. I know it's nice to think that you two can be bestest buddies and all that, but most of the time that doesn't happen. There's just too much baggage and too many things can go wrong. Just my two cents. Link to comment
ajk Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 i think it could be appropriate to ask her if she's okay and express that you're concerned about her... do you think any of your actions could have been construed as putting 'pressure' on her? was it her or you that initiated talking again? Link to comment
sidhat Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Dude, I would say Just leave her and put her on no contact phase.. If she meant to be for you she will come back.. but mean while dont bother her dont put pressure on her bcoz you cannot make her to love you..I know its hard for you but its better for your future .. just let her go..One more thing its really normal in relationships..every girl go in this PHASE.. but remmember no body is perfect.. so she is also not perfect .. let her try.. keep in no contact if she tried to contact you reply her just be normal and kool.. Act like a MAN.. and never ever become her friend .. bcoz she will hurt you more in future.. just leave her.. Meanwhile enjoy your life.. go gym, shopping.. be kool .. do party , travelling just dont think abt her.. the more you think the more worse situation become.. BE STRONG.. GOOD LUCK... ~Sid,,, Link to comment
slw1 Posted January 5, 2005 Author Share Posted January 5, 2005 I broke 2 months of no contact with a birthday card, and she was so thrilled that I remembered her. She asked me out a couple of times. I have never pressured her at all because she is the type that runs away as soon as things get serious. I just try to offer her my support because she is deprresed about her PHd studies are not going the way she planned. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Well I know this girl is about your age (since she is going for her Phd) and I would have to say that I find it a little odd that she "runs" away when things get serious, especially when she is in her early thirties. Move on to someone who won't play silly teenage games with you, you aren't getting any younger and it seems like you have your priorities straight (with school and work). Find someone who will treat you as well as you treat them. Link to comment
slw1 Posted January 5, 2005 Author Share Posted January 5, 2005 Iceman you are so right! She is the most naive 33 year old woman when it comes to relationships that I have ever met. She is afraid of commitment , but at the same time she is the most fun person I have ever met. She told me she was going to run away once before , so I guess I am still waiting for her to figure things out. ....I gotta admit i am almost a little obsessed with this chick, and it is really hard for me to move on. Link to comment
Iceman26 Posted January 5, 2005 Share Posted January 5, 2005 Well then it is simply an obsession! See your feelings for what they truly are and move on. We all want things we cant have, and I think you know you aren't going to get this girl back again. Focus your energy on school, work, or hey, if you are ready, another woman. Link to comment
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