advice please!

[Red83]

I was in a long distance relationship with a girl for about 8 months, we had both said the L word to each other and I thought things were going well. About a month ago I noticed a change in our texts and phone calls and then 3 weeks ago she ended it, I had to pry it out of her but she said we didn't have the same connection anymore and she didn't miss me. This has knocked me for 6 as the weeks previous she was all I love you and stuff, we haven't spoken since and I still have a lot of stuff I wanna say as I know I had flaws of my own that I want to acknowledge to her, I've been thinking of sending a letter to her, just saying I know where I went wrong and to just let her know I don't understand how she could end it so abruptly, do people think I should?

[Fame1977]

Most everyone here is going to tell you to not do it. That is probably the BEST advice there is. However, if you feel you can handle whatever happens after you send the letter, good, or bad, then I say go for it. Just don't make it mean or hateful. Just be honest.

[Wildflower88]

I think you deserve your closure, so get it anyway that you can. If writing a letter will help you release it, go for it, but I would do so in knowing that you will not get a response back.

[Red83]

Yeah I'm expecting no reply I just want to know what I want to say is out there, she might not even read the letter, I wasn't going make it hateful I was going to just own my mistakes and make it lighthearted if I can

[YouCanDeleteThisAccount]

Keep in mind that her respons is likely to be sugar coated to spare your feelings about her real reasons for breaking it off. I would write the letter in a way that you say what you want her to know, and ask the questions you have, but keep the expectation that the answers will likely be contradictory to what she has said in the past, inconsistent with what the truth is, and ambigous in detail. Telling people the truth isn't an easy task when they know it will hurt.

 

Hope things get better for you soon.

[Red83]

Yeah I just think she's taken the easy way out, maybe to make it easier on her or me I don't know, or maybe this is just what she does with guys, she may even have met someone else, but I just have stuff on my mind I need get out there cos I keep blaming myself over it all

[YouCanDeleteThisAccount]

Don't blame you at all. No closure in the last in my last breakup was a whirlwind of what the **** just happened???? It's the main reason I can't let go of my anger about it.