Stop being negative and down today. YOU alone can make things better! Right now!

[Oliviaa]

We could all benefit greatly with some positivity! We all just want to feel normal, human, happy again. We just want this immense pain that hurts so much to stop, or at least fade a little! We’re fed up of crying ourselves to sleep, feeling physically sick, down, lost, doomed, replaced, forgotten, used. It’s s**t. Especially if our exes are happy with somebody else, or seemingly enjoying singlehood…

 

I can empathise with you all. And I love this site. It’s great that you can relate to others, vent, and get advice from people who are going through the exact same thing! BUT equally everybody here is hurting, naturally vulnerable, wanting answers, searching for stories where the ex has come back etc. And when you’re miserable and down and come here and interact with other people who feeling negative, it can be hard to break the cycle. I’m not saying we aren’t entitled to feel miserable and down, hell I’ve been a state! We’ve been let down and broken hearted by the very people we put all our trust and love into! We have every right to be angry, and bitter, and devastated. However, sometimes enough is enough. Because who are we hurting? OURSELVES! Why do we allow ourselves to prolong our pain?! We deserve to be happy, we deserve to heal and find somebody who WANTS to be with us, and love us unconditionally…. We know this. But are we practising this?

 

We have to force ourselves to start healing. We have to be proactive. We have to be positive!! Let’s take back some control! Feeling negative is a vicious cycle. Because it’s easier to just curl up in a bowl and feel crap. Moping round our house. Listening to angry songs. Thinking “what is he/she up to?!”..."how could they do this to me?!". So we need to force ourselves to be positive…. And once you get going, it almost becomes addictive! And the more you actively think good thoughts, you start to feel less crap and more good, and that can only be a good thing! Get yourself in an upward spiral

 

So please, do it for yourself……..

 

- stop contacting your ex! Get your power back! (it feels great!)

-go through your ipod, cleanse your playlist of angry and upsetting songs and put on some happy songs that make you feel great!

- Open your curtains and windows, let some fresh air and light come in!

- Start tidying up the state of our homes we’ve neglected since our heart break…..

- get out a piece of paper and write a list of everything you’re grateful for and then a big smiley face! Write down your awesome qualities!

- AND SMILE.

- combat those negative thoughts. Every time something negative pops into your head, exhale and think “I am an amazing person. Yes things haven’t gone the way I hoped, but I WILL be okay. I can get through this. And I will be a better, stronger person for it”.

- the quicker you feel happy and positive, the quicker you will heal and see your situation from a more objective perspective. And this enhances further healing and knowing why you don’t really want that douche back anyway!

 

For those who are still adamant they want their ex back:

 

Wallowing in self-pity and negativity isn’t very productive. And you deserve to be happy again ASAP. Stop searching for ways to get them back, because if they’re going to come back, and things ARE going to work again, it’s going to be being you’re a positive, happy person who knows your own self value! Positivity attracts positivity….. That’s human nature. Just like hanging around negative people brings you down.

 

Think about it like this. We cannot change the situation we’re in. But we CAN change our thoughts and actions. Therefore we CAN change our feelings and we CAN start to feel happy and normal once again. And this is very, very powerful. Let us use this to our advantage Starting right now!

[YouCanDeleteThisAccount]

This is excellent advice. Allowing ourselves to remain down is allowing someone else to control how we feel. There are positive motivations to be had when we can simply look in the mirror and say to ourselves, "I love you". Sounds silly, but it works. Now is the time to do those things we've neglected to do because we were focused on someone else. It's time to become the person we always wanted to be.

 

Great post. Thanks for starting off the week on a positive note.

[Oliviaa]

Thank you JamesDE You also have some wise words, I will try that mirror trick! Yes these people have caused us great hurt and despair, but I've realised it's up to us HOW we react. Okay at first we can cry, scream out, obsess etc but at some point we have to regain control! Whilst grieving is natural and we all need a period of it, we need to break the habit of being in the negative spiral and proactively think good things, do good things, because we owe it to ourselves to accelerate the healing process. The quicker we heal the better!