Love relationships between different social classes

[Iori_Yagami]

Well, I find it quite necessary to discuss, since sooner or later you face a person who you fall in loe to. But, however sad this may seem s/he is just different. S/he lives in a different world, far away from your reality, and feelings is just the only little piece which holds you together.

In fact, when a girl/woman meets a wealthier man, it is usually great success for her (surprise, surprise). But sometimes there are things totally reverse to this, e.g. I am much poorer than my girl. I always feel like I owe her a lot, and it is surely true.

Well, just wanted to throw in a difficult topic to discuss, or maybe make up some sound advice from you all everywhere.

Thank you in advance.

[sisterlynch]

You find it difficult to express the many emotions that make up a commitment, so you find that money is a big factor in getting together with someone.

 

She would probably have the same problems with you or without you, so you should just be happy to have a girlfriend.

 

Problems exist in any relationship. Money is always a top priority. If she has money and that makes her happy, then she is worth your time.

 

If she puts a lot of emotional stress on you, then maybe the problems are too great.

[Yorkrose23]

Money is a touchy thing. It is one of thse things that doesn't seem like a relationship factor at all, but I think it is important.

If one person is used to working for everything they have and the other is used to being spoiled, it will eventually become an issue.

Look for ways to treat her without having to spend a lot of money.

Take her out to the park, spilt a milkshake, walk on the beach, read a book together, give each other massages, etc. Not every date has to be tough on the wallet. Ultimately, the pleasure of your company and the joy of your relationship is the best gift you can give her.

[ShySoul]

If you really care about someone, money won't be an issue. Unless you are a bum who doesn't even try to support himself, it shouldn't matter. Not every date has to be at the finest restaurant or really fancy. Sometimes it is the simplest things in life that give us the most joy. Remember, the best things in life might not be free but they sure are cheap.

 

Money or physical items should come between to people who really like each other and have alot in common, e.g they have the same interest and hobbies and think similarly.

[Vanilla]

Ah yes! I have been in your situation. Although I am a female, I have dated different kind of guys as in wealth status. My ex boyfriend whom I dated for close to two years was very very very wealthy. Hard to believe he also had a heart of gold. At first I would dread things like christmas, aniversaries and so on because reality was I could not afford any of the things he got me.

 

One time for my birthday he paid my airfare, hotel and spending money when I went on a trip with my best friend to Boston to visit another friend for 2 whole entire weeks! We were very in love, but his mother despised me. I think the nicest thing she ever said to me was "you're a very pretty girl" and i think that was even a little inuendo trying to say that was the only reason I was with her son. However he loved me truly, took it very hard when I decided to walk out. But he made me feel the money was never an issue. And I think if your girl makes you feel like that and you know she's ok about it then it shouldnt be a big problem.

 

My current boyfriend and I have been together for close to two years, we are about the same economic status and its just fine. He can't splurge on trips with me and buy me as expensive gifts or as constant but its ok because he's an unbelieveable man who comes to me everyday and night and proves his love and loyalty to me time and again. Money can't even come close to the feeling I get of his actions. So believe me while it may turn into a pride things sometimes since you are a man and yes powerful women are intimidating at times its ok. If you love her and she knows that chances are you're just fine....

 

be romantic, be loving and just always prove to her you're a good man. No diamonds or extravagant gifts will make her feel the way you do just by doing that

[Iori_Yagami]

I am not talking about really expensive presents or something like that...

 

What I want to stress is how you make the model of the relationship. The thing that bothers me is that she is more successful, sort of more leader than myself. It is definetely unpleasant to my self esteem.

[Vanilla]

that is only because you let that affect you. Maybe the problem isnt that she makes more money or is more successful. I think the only problem here is that your insecurities and own self esteem issues. I have noticed that with a lot of men.

 

Since a young age a lot of males are sadly but surely brought up to believe that they are supposed to be this macho men, men dont cry, men make more money than women, men dont show their emotions, men are always tough etc etc.

 

This has caused many males to neglect their true feelings and emotions growing up and causing them insecurities, self esteem issues, having problems expressing emotions in all sorts of relationships.

 

A true confident man will accept his woman for who she is. If she makes more money than you and is more successful in her work area, more power to her! Admire her for that, love her for that. Don't look down upon yourself for it! You're living in 2005 and this is normal wether you want to accept it or not. I say you work on your own issues before you lay it down that her success is your problem. You should be proud to have a woman like that by your side, not feel threatened by it or feel less of a man. Behind every great man, there is a GREAT woman, that says a lot about you, think about it.

[ShySoul]

If you love the person you will feel happy for her. You'll see her success as a good thing and be proud of all she's accomplished. Love is wanting to let your partner "flutter there wings and fly." You'll want her to be as successful and happy as she can be. And look at it this way, you probably are playing a role in her success. There will be times when she gets tired and tired of her work, where she'll wonder if its all worth it. By being there for her, loving her and supporting her, you will be making her feel better about herself and be giving her the strength to keep on working and doing the good job she is doing.

 

I agree with the idea that males are often raised with the idea of needing to be the man of the house and wearing the pants in the family. They think they have to be the successful one who makes the most money and supports the woman. I like the sentiment of being the provider but think its unrealistic. In today's world couples usually need both members to help out. Woman are making ground in the workplace and are becoming quite successful. That's a good thing. You shouldn't let you own securities get in the way of your relationship. Feel good about how successful she is and know that you are contributing as well. Relationships are partnerships, both members play a role.