I'm too deeply in love

[Mighty sloth]

I've been with my current girlfriend for 3 months now, I had not long been out of a three year relationship which ended on a very sour note: "I don't love you anymore" which lead me to do a lot of stupid that I regret including drinking heavily and meddling with pot again. Regardless of that. I began speaking to the most intellectual, incredible person ever of which is my current girlfriend. I've never felt so comfortable being myself around anyone and it's really great. But it's just, I'm scared. She initially told me she loved me after around a month and I couldn't say it back. Physically, the words just wouldn't leave my mouth until around a minute later when I mumbled them back. But since that day, I changed and I really did feel I love her - maybe it's a little too soon to say but I really love her an awful lot because there's just nothing that goes wrong. But this is where I feel it is a problem. I know for a fact I'm getting clingy, but I just don't know how to behave. I also know for a fact I'm becoming jealous over stupid things - such as when a friend of hers pointed out that her relationship status is still 'single' on Facebook (textbook immaturity - I know) but now it's getting to the point where I just want to spend every day with her. I really am not used to it and it is really affecting my personal hobbies and work. I felt simply posting this would make me realise and that I would stop and close my browser but I feel I should post it now because I feel indifferent and apathetic. What is wrong with me? Am I a terrible person? She tells me how she is jealous of my previous relationship that was so long and that is understandable but I get absolutely uncontrollable when I think of the two guys she dated for a short amount of time.

[newgirlhere]

I'm a little confused by your post... you don't sound indifferent or apathetic at all, but you say you are near the end of the post. Indifferent and apathetic towards what - posting this? Your relationship with her? And what about being infatuated with someone new makes you a 'terrible person'? lol

 

I think you are overthinking things a lot, and trying to control this new relationship because you feel you 'lost control' over the last one, resulting in it ending. I do feel like saying 'I love you' after one month is extremely fast, but only you two know how you feel. I caution you about rushing things, because as you said, right now you love her because 'there's just nothing that goes wrong,' which is a dangerous mindset because eventually...something will go wrong. Every relationship hits a point where it needs to work through something. That doesn't mean it will fall apart, but be careful not to get carried away with this being 'perfect' and rush the very early stages of dating. That's where you two are.

 

The rest of it - for sure if you are not getting work done or living your life normally as a result of this, then something else is going on that you need to look into. No relationship should interfere negatively with your life - especially this early on.

[SooSad33]

Problem No 1

" I had not long been out of a three year relationship which ended on a very sour note: "I don't love you anymore" which lead me to do a lot of stupid that I regret including drinking heavily and meddling with pot again"

- You were NOT too long out of a Long term relationship that ended on a sour note.

So, you never got to deal with that at all, did you? (Mentally & emotionally stable you're not.)

 

" I'm scared. She initially told me she loved me after around a month and I couldn't say it back. Physically, the words just wouldn't leave my mouth until around a minute later when I mumbled them back."

- After ONLY one month, is not love. It's called lust. Love evolves over time..

 

"I changed and I really did feel I love her - maybe it's a little too soon to say but I really love her an awful lot because there's just nothing that goes wrong." ( Give it time)

- No, you're still dealing with the lonliness and uncertainty you were left with from your BU. This gal has just been supporting you emotionally through it.

 

" But this is where I feel it is a problem. I know for a fact I'm getting clingy, but I just don't know how to behave. I also know for a fact I'm becoming jealous over stupid things - such as when a friend of hers pointed out that her relationship status is still 'single' on Facebook (textbook immaturity - I know) but now it's getting to the point where I just want to spend every day with her. "

- Right. You're losing yourself, becoming too dependent and insecure. But these are. YOUR issue's.

It's NOT good or healthy to bring your past relationship into a new one.

 

"She tells me how she is jealous of my previous relationship that was so long and that is understandable but I get absolutely uncontrollable when I think of the two guys she dated for a short amount of time."

- Oh, c'mon you two... She's jealous too?

Okay.. this relationship is gonna become a ticking time bomb. Jealousy etc. isn't any good especially from both sides!

 

Whatever has happened Before either of you two met up, has nothing to do with THIS relationship. Except for the fact you've brought a whole bunch of your problems on board with you.

 

I strongly caution YOU to get it together and deal with your issue's. Maybe dating at this time isn't a good idea, until you have gotten yourself emotionally & mentally stable again. Which can take months.. on your own.

[Nada noor]

How can i help you!